1. Communication Keys

2. What is Communication? Good communication takes place when the message you want to convey is received and understood the way you intended so that the relationship grows as a result.

3. Everyone wants to communicate.

4. Solomon on communication Proverbs chapters 15 to 18

5. Communication Keys

6. Listening keys Have good eye contact. Have good eye contact. Give focused, undivided attention. Give focused, undivided attention. Watch your body language. Watch your body language.

7. Listening keys Listen to the message behind the words. Listen to the message behind the words. Respond appropriately. Respond appropriately.

8. More listening keys Rephrase when not clear. Rephrase when not clear. Try to understand the other person’s viewpoint. Try to understand the other person’s viewpoint. Don’t prejudge or mind-read. Don’t prejudge or mind-read. Be patient. Be patient. Don’t defend yourself. Don’t defend yourself.

9. Still more listening keys Listen empathetically. Ask appropriate questions. Ask appropriate questions. Ask open-ended questions. Ask open-ended questions.

10. Still more listening keys Create trust and safety. Create trust and safety. Keep secrets and private matters confidential. Keep secrets and private matters confidential.

11. Speaking keys Choose or set the right atmosphere. Choose the right time and place. Choose the right time and place. Think before you speak. Think before you speak.

12. Speaking keys Don’t resurrect dead issues. Don’t resurrect dead issues. Don’t talk too much. Don’t talk too much. Don't put words into the other’s mouth. Don't put words into the other’s mouth.

13. More speaking keys Don’t be too quick to switch topics. Don’t be artificial or superficial. Don’t be artificial or superficial. Avoid interrupting. Avoid interrupting.

14. More speaking keys Have a pleasant tone of voice. Don’t use “put-downs” or belittling remarks. Don’t use “put-downs” or belittling remarks. Don’t use generalizations like “You never...” or “You always...” Don’t use generalizations like “You never...” or “You always...”

15. Still more speaking keys Use “I” messages and not “You” messages. Be sensitive to the other person’s feelings and needs. Be sensitive to the other person’s feelings and needs.

16. Still more speaking keys Draw the other person into the conversation. Don’t attack or use abusive language. Don’t attack or use abusive language. Control anger and other negative emotions. Control anger and other negative emotions.

17. Still more speaking keys Speak the truth in love. Eph.4:15 Speak the truth in love. Eph.4:15 Sleep on some things. They may not seem so important tomorrow. Sleep on some things. They may not seem so important tomorrow.

18. Still more speaking keys Talk about the other person’s interests. Talk about the other person’s interests. Be liberal with compliments, and stingy with criticism. Be liberal with compliments, and stingy with criticism.

19. Conclusion Remember that good communication takes place when the message you want to convey is received and understood the way you intended so that the relationship grows as a result.