Presentation on theme: "Was It Something I Said? Developing Communication Techniques that Enhance Ethical Reasoning and Diversity Understanding Beccy Hambright, Ph.D. Program."— Presentation transcript:
Was It Something I Said? Developing Communication Techniques that Enhance Ethical Reasoning and Diversity Understanding Beccy Hambright, Ph.D. Program Manager T-STEM Center Texas Tech University
Little Pitchers Have Big Ears! Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.
Communications Written Verbal Nonverbal Listening Conflict Resolution
Guidelines for Objective Recording Record only facts Record every detail without omitting anything Use action verbs when possible Observe without interpretation Record only what you see and hear Use words that describe but do not judge Record facts in order of occurrence
Key Concepts - Documentation Observing/recording children’s behavior planned and ongoing Accurate assessment when data is unbiased Observation is basis for individualization List behaviors chronologically and accurately Only record factual information – never emotions, motivations, intelligence
Verbal Communication Build respect and rapport by – being open to new ideas respecting the rights, needs, and opinions of others seeking clarification for understanding avoiding hidden agendas seeing other’s perspectives
Communication Blockers Blaming Saying “always” and “never” Name calling; labeling Giving advice/commentary Negating what another has to say Disrespecting differences, language barriers, socioeconomic levels
Communication Pitfalls Putting self before others – “Seek first to understand, then to be understood” (S. Covey) Making assumptions Do you think “outside the box?” Distractions Listening skills
Nonverbal Communication Kinesics – posture and gestures Affect displays – face and eyes Haptics – touch Chronemics – time Remember – these vary within cultures
Nonverbal Communication PROXEMICS Intimate distance (embracing, whispering) 6-18 inches Personal distance (friends’ conversations) 1.5-4 feet Social distance (conversations with acquaintances) 4-12 feet Public distance (public speaking) 12+ feet
Nonverbal Communication Women are more sensitive than men to nonverbal cues – especially facial cues—and they transmit more accurate nonverbal cues to others. When contradictory messages are sent through both verbal and nonverbal channels, most adults see the nonverbal message as more accurate. People with low self-esteem use more eye contact when receiving negative messages than when receiving positive ones, while those with high self- esteem do just the opposite in each case.
Nonverbal Communication When people are conjuring up a lie, their pupils tend to become smaller. However, when they tell the lie, their pupils tend to dilate (enlarge). The three nonverbal cues an interviewer remembers most about a job applicant are: gestures, posture, and handshake.
What Kind of Listener Are YOU? If you feel that it would take too much time and effort to understand something, do you try to avoid hearing it? Do you think about other subjects when you believe your partner will have nothing interesting to say?
What Kind of Listener Are YOU? Do certain words, phrases, or ideas upset you so you cannot listen to what is being said? When someone is talking to you, do you listen mainly for facts, rather than ideas?
What Kind of Listener Are YOU? When you’re listening, are you easily distracted by outside sights and sounds? When you’re angry about what’s being said, do you pretend that nothing is wrong or that you understand?
What Kind of Listener Are YOU? Most people think four times faster than a person usually talks. Do you use this extra time to think about other things while you’re keeping track of the conversation? When another person is talking to you, do you try to make him/her think you’re paying attention when you’re not?
Children should be taught responses to differences which are positive and appropriate.
Results of Bias Children and often adults are not prepared intellectually or emotionally with the realities and demands of their present day lives
Children’s Learning Children notice differences and respond to them from an early age Developmental tasks occur which construct identity and attitudes Societal stereotyping and bias influence children’s self-concept and attitudes toward themselves and others
Children Know That Color, language, gender, physical ability differences are connected with privilege and power There are spoken and unspoken messages about those differences Racism, sexism, handicappism influence their development and that of others
Age Appropriate Behavior By age two, children learn gender labels (boy, girl) and color names By age three, children notice gender and racial differences and are influenced by societal norms and biases; may exhibit “pre-prejudice” behavior
Age Appropriate Behavior By age four, children use racial reasons to refuse interaction with other children They exhibit discomfort and rejection of differently abled people They have already internalized stereotypical gender roles, racial bias, and fear of differently abled people
What Are You Teaching? Do you teach children to conform to societal norms and biases, even unintentionally? Are pictures displayed of differently abled people Do you “over-help” or “over-praise” girls and children with disabilities?
Research Indicates That... Differently abled children and girls in general are trained for dependence and passivity Teachers praise young girls for appearance, cooperation, and obedience Teachers praise young boys mainly for achievement
Politeness is Not Enough! Children need help understanding why they feel uncomfortable and what are appropriate ways to handle their perceptions, feelings, and responses.
To Overcome Discrimination Help children inappropriate responses to respectful, comfortable interaction Expand concepts of fairness and feelings of empathy for each other Foster children’s critical thinking about stereotypes Enable children to gain tools and self-confidence to stand up for themselves and others
Does Your C & I Enable Students To Construct a knowledgeable, confident self- identity? Develop comfortable, empathetic, and just interaction with diversity? Develop critical thinking? Develop skills for standing up for oneself and others in the face of injustice?
Does Your C & I Enable Students To Develop Strong self-identities? Pride? Knowledgeable group identity? Skills to understand racism and prevailing bias?
Goals Enable children to develop the ability to interact knowledgeably, comfortably, and fairly with all people Teach children with disabilities how to handle and challenge name calling, stereotypical attitudes, and physical barriers Teach nondisabled children how to challenge stereotyping, name calling, etc.
To Overcome Discrimination Redirect inappropriate responses toward respectful, comfortable interactions Expand concepts of fairness and feelings of empathy for each other Foster students’ critical thinking about stereotypes Enable students to gain tools and self- confidence to stand up for themselves and others
To Overcome Discrimination Foster children’s knowledge and pride in their cultural identity Foster curiosity, enjoyment, and empathetic awareness of cultural differences/similarities Teach children to overcome inappropriate responses triggered by cultural differences
Parents as Partners Establish genuine parent/teacher dialogue Provide information that facilitates parent awareness Create safe settings for parent discussions Facilitate development of children through joint parent/teacher problem solving and support Involve parents in curriculum development, implementation, evaluation
Abraham Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs Physiological – Food, clothing, shelter Security & Safety – Need for a safe environment Social – Need to be loved, accepted, and belong Ego & Esteem – Need to be heard, appreciated, wanted Self-actualizing – Need to achieve your full potential
Remember … Disputes involving resources are the easiest to resolve Value conflicts are the most difficult The more abstract, less tangible the conflict, the more difficult to resolve
Situations A student says, “My dad says all Muslims are bad people.” A parent tells you she doesn’t want her child sitting next to the child of homosexual parents. A female athlete is taunted by classmates because of her size and/or appearance. A disabled student is routinely excluded by peers from classroom group work.
Games People Play Dr. Eric Berne, 1969 Everyone has multiple personalities – Child – Parent – Adult
Tips for Resolving Conflict Connect with others through what they most value Don’t try to deduce other people’s intentions as being like your own Because we respond more strongly to the negative actions of people for whom we have strong feelings than to those of strangers, allow yourself more time to get back in balance in those cases.
Assessing and Resolving Conflicts: A Sequential Process Stage 1 – Define the problem Stage 2 – Clarify the needs Stage 3 – Generate possible options Stage 4 – Evaluate proposed options Stage 5 – Develop an action plan Stage 6 – Develop a contingency plan
Be Proactive Step One: Tell yourself the truth Step Two: Reach out to the other side Step Three: Listen attentively to the other side Step Four: Prove you are fair
General Strategies for Managing Conflict COLLABORATING Mode – (cooperative, assertive) attempts to address fully the needs of both parties and is often called the problem-solving approach NEGOTIATION Strategies – more equitable for everyone; there are no losers
AVOIDING Approach – (uncooperative, unassertive) neglects the interests of both parties by postponing or sidestepping the problem COMPROMISING Model – (intermediate on assertiveness and cooperativeness) tries to obtain some satisfaction for both parties General Strategies for Managing Conflict
FORCING Alternative – (assertive, uncooperative) attempts to satisfy one’s needs at the expense of another person’s ACCOMMODATING Approach – (cooperative, unassertive) satisfies the other party’s concerns while neglecting one’s own General Strategies for Managing Conflict
Win-Win Problem Solving Establish communication – must speak to one another Own the problem – must be able to describe your needs Define terms and values – eliminate all verbal confusion Find common ground – often more likenesses than differences
Win-Win Problem Solving Negotiate – everyone should be a winner – Identify and define the conflict – Generate a number of possible solutions – Evaluate the alternative solutions – Decide on the best solution
Six Paradigms of Human Interaction Win-Win People who choose to win and make sure others also win. Take time to search for solutions that will make them happy and simultaneously satisfy others. Listens more, stays in communication longer, communicates with more courage
What Win-Win Is: A courageous effort The best way to get to interdependent relationships A philosophy of human interaction supported by an Abundance Mentality A character-based code for interactions Six Paradigms of Human Interaction
What Win-Win Is NOT: Always being "nice" Always achievable A manipulative technique A personality-based thought pattern Six Paradigms of Human Interaction
Win - Lose Mindset of themselves first and last. Want to win and others to lose. Achieve success at the expense/exclusion of others. Uses position, power, credentials, possessions, or personality to get the "win." Six Paradigms of Human Interaction
Win-Win or No Deal Highest form of Win-Win If cannot find an acceptable solution, they agree to disagree agreeably Allows each party to say "no" Highest form of "win" Six Paradigms of Human Interaction
Win Think only of getting what they want Don't necessarily want others to lose, but are personally set on winning Think independently in interdependent situations, without sensitivity or awareness of others Self-centered "Me first" Six Paradigms of Human Interaction
Lose - Win Choose to lose and let others win Lack the courage to express and act on their feelings and beliefs Easily intimidated Borrow strength from acceptance and popularity Voices no standards, no demands, no expectations Is quick to please or appease Buries a lots of feelings Six Paradigms of Human Interaction
Lose - Lose Low on courage and consideration Envy and criticize others Put themselves and others down Highly-dependent Same as "no win" because nobody benefits Six Paradigms of Human Interaction
What Helps? LEAPS! Listen Empathize Ask Questions Paraphrase Summarize
“If we always do what we’ve always done, We’ll always get what we’ve always got. And if nothing changes... Nothing changes.” Alcoholics Anonymous