Types of Discipline  Authoritarian- unquestioned obedience is required & little to no reteaching or explanation is given.  Permissive- there are few rules & limited discipline.  Open- The goal of discipline is to teach the child self-control. Parents provide discipline that is geared towards explanation & reteaching.

 Which type are you?  What type of discipline style were you raised in?  What did you learn from that experience?  What do you feel your child is learning now?

What results from these discipline styles?  Authoritarian- The child develops obedience through fear, not understanding of the situation or need. This child may become rebellious, dependent on others, or submissive.  Permissive- This type of discipline instills aggression & selfishness. The child may grow up to be lawless & confused.  Open- This child is most likely going to learn to work with others & respect self & others. As an adult, this child is most able to make decisions while thinking of the needs of others, as well as self.

Positive Parenting: Developing your democratic style- What is discipline?  Teaches the child life-long skills for good character, such as responsibility and self- control.  Protects the child  Instills values

Effective Discipline:  Effective discipline uses real world "cause & effect" learning experiences. Effective discipline teaches children how to think for themselves. It doesn't just force them to obey. The world is a different place than 30 years ago. We don't want our children to just blindly obey.  Effective discipline is proactive. Parents find underlying causes of misbehavior as well as teach future desired behavior.  Effective discipline is mutually respectful: Treating the child as you expect to be treated. Although parents have far more experience & knowledge than their children, both parent & child have the same right of having their feelings & dignity equally respected.

 Effective discipline is ninety percent prevention & ten percent correction.  Effective discipline is kind, firm & safe.  Effective discipline is as fair & consistent as possible.  Effective discipline does not involve arguments or power struggles.

“Children don't really misbehave. They act in inappropriate ways to get their needs met. The job of parents is to meet those needs & teach children how to get them met in socially appropriate ways.” The big question is “how?”

 What are some of the effective methods of discipline that you have used to: 1. Get kids in bed on time 2. Get kids to do their homework 3. Get kids to clean their room 4. Others…

 The first step is to set clear expectations for your child.  Share these expectations with your child & be sure the child understands them.  Show your child what you expect.  Follow through with the established consequence & reteaching each time.

 The most common discipline tools used for younger children up to preschool age are redirection, substitution, supervision, offering choices, changing the environment, ensuring enough nourishment, sleep, stimulation & attention. Most discipline at this age is prevention.  The most effective discipline tools used for older, school-aged children & teens are active listening, "I" messages, time in, changing the environment, modeling, related consequences, & problem solving. Family meetings are also especially effective for this age.  Time in= is taking a break to do something positive  I messages= I feel ________ when you __________  Related consequences= consequences that go directly with the action (if a child throws & breaks something, that child would clean up the mess & fix or replace the broken item.

 A crucial discipline tool often overlooked is meeting the needs of parents. Parents who are hungry, tired, stressed, need support &/or a time-in don't often make the best parenting decisions.  You can't raise a child in a dictatorship & expect them to function as an adult in a democracy.  Many parents don't use punishment in raising caring, responsible children. It takes practice & plenty of patience — something every parent can learn. Your child will appreciate it.  Think about it: How has your method worked for you so far? Trying something new may mean doing discipline less.

References: nt/Guidance- Discipline/MakingDiscPositive.htm Thank you!