COM110 Elements of Human Communication Jim Friscia /

Week 6 Interpersonal Communication: Conversation Relationships Conflict

Goals Describe the characteristics and stages of interpersonal relationships. List the types of interpersonal relationships. Identify cultural, technological, and other influences that affect interpersonal communications. Communicate effectively in relationships. Describe the principles and types of interpersonal conflict. Apply strategies to resolve interpersonal conflict.

What is interpersonal communication?

C op yr ig ht © 20 11, 20 08, P ea rs on E du ca tio n, In c. Al l ri gh ts re se rv ed. Conversational Realities Dialogue occurs in a number of places, contexts, and channels.

C op yr ig ht © 20 11, 20 08, P ea rs on E du ca tio n, In c. Al l ri gh ts re se rv ed. Conversational Realities Cultural differences can affect the flow of a conversation. How? Language disorders can interrupt the conversational process and require certain adjustments to maintain smooth dialogue.

C op yr ig ht © 20 11, 20 08, P ea rs on E du ca tio n, In c. Al l ri gh ts re se rv ed. Opening Feedforward Business Feedback Closing Conversation: 5 Steps

C op yr ig ht © 20 11, 20 08, P ea rs on E du ca tio n, In c. Al l ri gh ts re se rv ed. Principles of Conversation Turn-Taking Dialogue Immediacy

C op yr ig ht © 20 11, 20 08, P ea rs on E du ca tio n, In c. Al l ri gh ts re se rv ed. The Principle of Turn-Taking Speaker Cues Turn-Maintaining Turn-Yielding Listener Cues Turn-Requesting Turn-Denying Back-channeling and interruptions

C op yr ig ht © 20 11, 20 08, P ea rs on E du ca tio n, In c. Al l ri gh ts re se rv ed.

What’s significant about apologies, excuses, complements, and advice?

What are the six stages of interpersonal relationships?

C op yr ig ht © 20 11, 20 08, P ea rs on E du ca tio n, In c. Al l ri gh ts re se rv ed. Interpersonal Relationship Types Friendship Love Primary relationships & families

C op yr ig ht © 20 11, 20 08, P ea rs on E du ca tio n, In c. Al l ri gh ts re se rv ed. Interpersonal Relationship Types Friendship Love Primary relationships & families

C op yr ig ht © 20 11, 20 08, P ea rs on E du ca tio n, In c. Al l ri gh ts re se rv ed. Theories of Interpersonal Comm and Relationships Attraction Relationship rules Social penetration Social exchange and equity

C op yr ig ht © 20 11, 20 08, P ea rs on E du ca tio n, In c. Al l ri gh ts re se rv ed. Attraction We are attracted to others based on… Physical attractiveness and personality Similarity Proximity Reinforcement

C op yr ig ht © 20 11, 20 08, P ea rs on E du ca tio n, In c. Al l ri gh ts re se rv ed. Relationship Rules Friendship rules Romantic rules Family rules Workplace rules

C op yr ig ht © 20 11, 20 08, P ea rs on E du ca tio n, In c. Al l ri gh ts re se rv ed. Social Penetration Social penetration theory explains… Why relationships develop and what happens when they do Breadth Depth Depenetration

C op yr ig ht © 20 11, 20 08, P ea rs on E du ca tio n, In c. Al l ri gh ts re se rv ed. Social Exchange and Equity Social exchange theory You develop relationships that will enable you to maximize your profits Based on economic model Profits = Rewards – Costs

C op yr ig ht © 20 11, 20 08, P ea rs on E du ca tio n, In c. Al l ri gh ts re se rv ed. Culture, Technology, Work, and Relationships Culture and Gender Consider whether relationships are voluntary or chosen by families Effects how relationships end and the difficulties that you go through during dissolution Determines how much people disclose about themselves

C op yr ig ht © 20 11, 20 08, P ea rs on E du ca tio n, In c. Al l ri gh ts re se rv ed. Culture, Technology, Work, and Relationships Culture and Gender Consider whether relationships are voluntary or chosen by families Effects how relationships end and the difficulties that you go through during dissolution Determines how much people disclose about themselves

C op yr ig ht © 20 11, 20 08, P ea rs on E du ca tio n, In c. Al l ri gh ts re se rv ed. Culture, Technology, Work, and Relationships Technology We lose many relationship nonverbal cues through technology Establishing online relationships can be safe Your inner qualities are revealed first

C op yr ig ht © 20 11, 20 08, P ea rs on E du ca tio n, In c. Al l ri gh ts re se rv ed. Advantages Interest in the same field Similar training and ambitions Greater work satisfaction Disadvantages Discomfort to other workers Problems for management Stress if relationship ends Workplace Romances Culture, Technology, Work, and Relationships

How do we define interpersonal conflict?

C op yr ig ht © 20 11, 20 08, P ea rs on E du ca tio n, In c. Al l ri gh ts re se rv ed. Conflict and Interdependency

C op yr ig ht © 20 11, 20 08, P ea rs on E du ca tio n, In c. Al l ri gh ts re se rv ed. 1. Conflict is best avoided. Time will solve the problem; it will all blow over. 2. If two people experience relationship conflict, it means their relationship is in trouble. 3. Conflict damages an interpersonal relationship. 4. Conflict is destructive because it reveals our negative selves—our pettiness, our need to be in control, our unreasonable expectations. 5. In any conflict, there has to be a winner and a loser. Because goals are incompatible, someone has to win and someone has to lose. True or False?

C op yr ig ht © 20 11, 20 08, P ea rs on E du ca tio n, In c. Al l ri gh ts re se rv ed. Conflict can center on content or relationship issues Conflict can be positive or negative Conflict is influenced by culture and gender Conflict styles have consequences Interpersonal Conflict Principles

C op yr ig ht © 20 11, 20 08, P ea rs on E du ca tio n, In c. Al l ri gh ts re se rv ed. Conflict and Culture Cultural differences Collectivist cultures Individualistic cultures

C op yr ig ht © 20 11, 20 08, P ea rs on E du ca tio n, In c. Al l ri gh ts re se rv ed. Conflict and Gender Which gender stereotype regarding conflict is supported by research? Answer: the withdrawing and sometimes aggressive male

Exists in all relationships Meeting needs = power Each person has power Is circumstantial Is negotiated Power Principles

Legitimate Referent Expert Reward Coercive Power Sources

Conflict Management Styles … what’s yours? Video

Conflict Management Styles … what’s yours? Avoidance

Conflict Management Styles … what’s yours? Accommodation

Conflict Management Styles … what’s yours? Competition

Conflict Management Styles … what’s yours? Compromise

Conflict Management Styles … what’s yours? Collaboration

Concern for Others Concern for Self LowHigh Low High CompetitionCollaboration Avoidance Accommodati on Compromise

What are some factors to consider when you’re trying to manage conflict?

Manage emotions Manage information Manage goals Manage the problem Conflict Management Skills

Manage emotions Manage information Manage goals Manage the problem Conflict Management Skills

What are some unproductive conflict management strategies?

C op yr ig ht © 20 11, 20 08, P ea rs on E du ca tio n, In c. Al l ri gh ts re se rv ed. Defensiveness and Supportiveness Evaluation Control Strategy Neutrality Superiority Certainty

C op yr ig ht © 20 11, 20 08, P ea rs on E du ca tio n, In c. Al l ri gh ts re se rv ed. Face- Attacking Strategies that attack a person’s positive face Beltlining Blame Strategies that enhance positive face Confirm the other person’s self- image. Listen supportively and actively. Use I-messages that avoid blaming the other person. Use excuses and apologies as appropriate Face- Enhancing

What is the difference between being verbally aggressive and argumentative? How argumentative are you?

What is the difference between being verbally aggressive and argumentative? How argumentative are you?