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Characterize the importance of interpersonal communication competence. Identify the stages of relationship development and growth. Identify the stages of relationship deterioration and dissolution. Explain what interpersonal conflict is, what causes it, why it can be beneficial, and strategies to manage and resolve it Apply effective interpersonal communication skills and competencies in personal and professional relationships. Copyright © 2014, 2011, 2008 Pearson Education, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

Five skills leading to interpersonal competence are: The ability to adapt and know how to communicate in specific situations. The ability to adapt and appropriately communicate in specific interactions. The ability to understand your and the other person’s values, beliefs, attitudes, or feelings. The ability to self-monitor. The ability to be fair and ethical.

Copyright © 2014, 2011, 2008 Pearson Education, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Interpersonal Attraction—the desire to interact with someone. Physical Attributes Observations from first impressions Stereotypes and appearance Communication and Attraction Fear of rejection by those who are more attractive Similarity in attraction Chemistry or Physical Attraction Physical attraction is important Chemistry (attraction at first sight) Meeting online Women are more likely to form online relationships The depth and personal aspects of the relationship add to the possibility of moving beyond the computer

- Initiating - meet and interact for the first time - Experimenting - discover common ground - Intensifying - increase self-disclosure - Integrating - establish deep commitment - Bonding - announce commitment publicly

- focus on differences Differentiating - focus on differences - reduce communication Circumscribing - reduce communication - avoid communication Stagnating - avoid communication - create distance Avoiding - create distance - end the relationship Terminating - end the relationship

Copyright © 2014, 2011, 2008 Pearson Education, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Initiating Experimenting Intensifying Integrating Bonding

Copyright © 2014, 2011, 2008 Pearson Education, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Terminating Avoiding Stagnating Circumscribing Differentiating

Positivity Openness Assurances Blending Social Networks Sharing Tasks

Copyright © 2014, 2011, 2008 Pearson Education, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Signs That Relationships Are in Trouble Aggressive behavior Aiming to hurt the other party Lies Deceives another by not telling the truth Betrayal Extramarital affairs, gossip, and harmful criticism Deception and betrayal are similar. The difference is that betrayal violates a confidence and an agreed on expectation.

Open/honest communication Bring out/focus on positive side Evaluate rewards/costs Seek support Reinterpret other’s behavior Reduce negativity 12

The Intrapsychic Phase Internally assess their classification of their relationship The Dyadic Phase Discuss the status of their relationship The Social Phase Relationship difficulties become more public within the context of family, friends, coworkers, etc. The Grave- Dressing Phase Final phase because after the breakup, each partner gives an account of why the relationship ended. Copyright © 2014, 2011, 2008 Pearson Education, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

According to Wilmot and Hocker, conflict is an expressed struggle between at least two interdependent parties who perceive incompatible goals, scarce resources, and interference from others in achieving their goals. Faulty communication can lead to conflict. Faulty attribution errors can lead to conflict. Faulty perceptions and a tendency to perceive our own views as objective and reflective of reality, but others as not based in reality, can lead to conflict. Personality traits or characteristics can lead to conflict. Copyright © 2014, 2011, 2008 Pearson Education, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

Destructive Winner vs. loser Too aggressive behaviors, withdrawal, withholding feelings Prevents work or feeling good about ourselves Forces us to do things we do not want to do Outcome more important than the relationship Form of bullying Bring out problems that need solving Bring people together to clarify goals and explore new ideas Eliminate resentments and help in understanding Bring out creativity Produce acceptable solutions Pay attention to other points of view Bring new life into a relationship Beneficial Copyright © 2014, 2011, 2008 Pearson Education, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

Denial- denying the problem exists. Selection- accommodating one party. Segmentation- choosing certain areas to be open for discussion. Reframing- redefining tension in order to make it less obvious; make it disappear. Moderation- compromising; deals are struck in order to reduce tension. Reaffirmation- accepting that tension will always be present and embracing it.

“Conflict is an expressed struggle between at least two interdependent parties who perceive incompatible goals, scarce resources, and interference from others in achieving their goals.” - Wilmot and Hocker 17

Faulty communication Faulty attributions Faulty perceptions Personal traits or characteristics 18

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Address issues clearly Treat others with respect Know that praise will most likely produce desired responses Competent Communicators

Establish Supportive and Caring Relationships Nurture a Supportive Environment Invite More Communication Copyright © 2014, 2011, 2008 Pearson Education, Inc. All Rights Reserved