Resolving CONFLICTS

Resolving Conflicts Turn to partner, discuss any conflicts you have witnessed or participated in during the past week, focusing on how the opponents behaved and how the conflict was resolved. Resolving a conflict successfully means standing up for oneself and getting at least some of what one wants without damaging another person or ignoring his or her rights.

Methods of Resolving Conflict How do you resolve conflicts? Take a moment and complete page 59 Observing Conflicts

Methods of Conflict Resolution Striking back verbally or physically Giving in to the other person Walking away Compromising –Occurs when two or more people in conflict each give up some of what they want in order to get some of what they want. Negotiation- a creative process in which people in conflict come up with solution that allows everyone to have what they really want. Also called a win-win situation.

Take a moment and complete Worksheet 18, What Would You Do?, (Page 60) What Would You Do?

Points to Make Any of the five methods may be effective in certain situations Striking back can lead to violence which escalates until both people are out of control and real damage is done. In really dangerous situations, giving in or walking away may be the most appropriate response. Always using these methods, however, means a person never gets what he or she wants and often causes low self-esteem Where possible, compromise and negotiation are usually the best responses to conflict.

LifeSkills and Conflict Resolution Stay cool Cool off your opponent Listen Stand up for yourself Show Respect Solve the problem The skills and techniques you have been practicing throughout the program can be used to resolve conflicts successfully.

Resolving Conflicts As soon as a serious conflict begins to erupt you must decide how they are going to handle it. Recall the three steps to successful decision making. Clarify the problem: Consider the options: Choose the best alternative for you and take action

Resolving Conflicts In conflict situations most people feel fear or anger. Fear make you want to give in or run away. Anger makes them want to fight back. Elicit that neither response solves the problem. Remind yourself of the techniques we learned to reduce anxiety and control anger to stay cool Examples Relax, take a deep breath, flash a warning lights, count to ten before responding angrily, giving in, or running away. Use self-statements “I don’t have to let this person intimidate me. I can cope.” “I don’t have to let my anger out. I can be in control” Reframe the situation- Look at it from the others person’s point of view ask yourself: “Is this serious enough to fight over?”

Managing Stress and Anger in Conflicts Most people feel fear or anger in conflicts. Fear make them want to give in or run away. Anger makes them want to fight back. The skills learned to reduce anxiety and control anger will help you to keep your “cool” Turn to a partner and come up with all of the anxiety- reduction techniques…

Using Communication and Social Skills to Resolve Conflicts Once you have coped with fears and gotten your anger under control, it’s time to communicate with your opponent. Recall the communication skills that we learned and apply them to your situation: Be Specific: Listen: Pay Attention: How might being aggressive, passive, or assertive affect a conflict’s outcome?

Points to Make Aggression can lead to violence Passivity means you don’t get what you want and can end up feeling bad about yourself Assertion allows you to keep your self-respect without harming the other person.

Practice Conflict Resolution Give me some simple, yet serious situations you often see or have experienced Work in groups to practice conflict resolution using these situations Skills learned in the LifeSkills Training Program are very important part of resolving conflicts……

Spy on the Loose Turn to page 59 Teacher Manual Real life conflicts