Bullying Between Girls

What Can Cause Girls to be Aggressive? Unmet needs at before age 4 Unmet needs at before age 4 Stuck in early stage Stuck in early stage Insecurity Insecurity The need for control/power The need for control/power Jealously/Envy Jealously/Envy Fear of peer rejection Fear of peer rejection

What Can Cause Girls to be Aggressive? Wanting to be popular Wanting to be popular Negative role models Negative role models Lack of attention Lack of attention Others accepting meanness Others accepting meanness Lack of supervision Lack of supervision WANT TO FEEL GOOD ABOUT THEMSELVES WANT TO FEEL GOOD ABOUT THEMSELVES

These Girls Often… Lack empathy when bad things happen to others Lack empathy when bad things happen to others Lack empathy when they hurt others Lack empathy when they hurt others Want their way Want their way Believe the victim deserves bad treatment Believe the victim deserves bad treatment Have been bullied by a family member Have been bullied by a family member

Who do they pick on the most? Anybody…. if they think they can get away with it Girls they feel threatened by “Uncool girls” Girls who don’t stick up for themselves Girls where others don’t stick up for them

What the Girls Say… “Hating me won’t make you prettier.” “Hating me won’t make you prettier.” “Girls are vicious. Everyone calls me a slut, but I would rather hang out with guys than endure the pain and suffering from girls.” “Girls are vicious. Everyone calls me a slut, but I would rather hang out with guys than endure the pain and suffering from girls.” “I get mooed and oinked at and my science teacher and other classmates lets them do it.” “I get mooed and oinked at and my science teacher and other classmates lets them do it.”

Lastly… “The popular girls made me drink my mashed potatoes with chocolate milk through a straw so I could sit with them at lunch. I did and they just laughed at me. I don’t know why. I hate school and I hate my teacher and I hate them.” “The popular girls made me drink my mashed potatoes with chocolate milk through a straw so I could sit with them at lunch. I did and they just laughed at me. I don’t know why. I hate school and I hate my teacher and I hate them.”

Possible effects of Relational Aggression… RA School Refusal Family Fights Poor Self- Image AnxietyDepression School Shootings Fights Lower Grades

Girls will be Girls… Irrational Thinking The STOP Method The STOP Method –Is the relational aggression  Severe  Traumatic  Ongoing If so, you should try to stop it!

Stop Bullying 1. Help Others 2. Speak Out 3. Get Adult Help

Help and Include Others Schools that have the least bullying is where students help each other Schools that have the least bullying is where students help each other Being kind can mean to include other girls. Not charity case. Being kind can mean to include other girls. Not charity case. Our students can be supportive Our students can be supportive

Speak Out Mean girls look for easy targets who noticeably get upset Mean girls look for easy targets who noticeably get upset Get better at effectively managing conflicts Get better at effectively managing conflicts Don’t come down to their level Don’t come down to their level Paradox - sometimes speaking out can mean to ignore it Paradox - sometimes speaking out can mean to ignore it

Get Adult Help Our staff is committed to stopping bullying Our staff is committed to stopping bullying Snitching vs. Getting Help Snitching vs. Getting Help If one adult doesn’t help, go to another adult If one adult doesn’t help, go to another adult Your favorite teachers and school counselors will help you Your favorite teachers and school counselors will help you

Remember Brain functioning effecting aggression between girls Brain functioning effecting aggression between girls Male and female bullying differences Male and female bullying differences Causes of relational aggression Causes of relational aggression Female friendships and social jungle Female friendships and social jungle Interventions to combat girl bullying Interventions to combat girl bullying