Guiding Children How do we effectively manage behavior of children.

Guidance Using firmness and understanding to help children learn how to behave. Children learn self-discipline when effective guidance is employed. Guidance promotes security and positive self-esteem When effective guidance is used, children develop a conscience

How? Be a role model Give effective directions Set limits Provide positive reinforcement

Effective Directions Be sure to have child’s attention Be polite Use positive statements Use specific words the child can understand Begin with an action verb Give a limited number of directions at a time Be clear Give praise and love

Set Limits Does the limit allow the child to learn explore, and grow? Is the limit fair and appropriate for the child’s age? Does the limit benefit the child, or ist it just for the adult’s convenience?

Positive Reinforcement a response that encourages a particular behavior Be specific Comment on the behavior as soon as possible Recognize small steps Help child take pride in their actions Tailor the encouragement to the needs of the child Use positive reinforcement wisely

Dealing with inappropriate behavior Questions to ask when dealing with inappropriate behavior Is the expected behavior appropriate for the developmental age of the child? Does the child understand the behavior was wrong? Did the child do the behavior knowingly and deliberately, or was it beyond the child’s control?

Unintentional behavior The child had no way of knowing the behavior was wrong Did the child have no control over the action Was the action an accident?

Effective Punishment Reminds children that correct behavior is important Teaches there are consequences for poor choices Avoids blame and criticism If a rule is broken, young children should be reminded of the rule Punishment should be in proportion to the misbehavior

Negative Reinforcement a response aimed at strengthining a desired behavior by removing an unpleasant trigger Natural consequences Logical consequences Loss of priveledge

Natural Consequences Children suffer from the actual result of their action Child breaks toy, parents don’t replace it Don’t lecture Don’t remedy the situation for the child (defeats the purpose of a consequence)

Logical Consequences The consequence has a connection to the misbehavior Often used when natural consequences would be inappropriate (damaged property, the natural consequence doesn’t bother child) Be prepared to follow through Lack of follow through shows children that they don’t need to take their parents seriously

Loss of Privileges Both natural and logical consequences are not appropriate (dangerous consequences) Most effective in children 5 and over If possible, make privilege connect to misbehavior

Time out A short period of time in which a child sits away from other people and the center of activity A chance to calm down and regain self-control One minute for each year of the child’s age Child needs to acknowledge action that resulted in time out.

Poor disciplinary measures Bribing Promise to behave Shouting/yelling Shaming or belittling Threating to withhold love Exaggerating consequences.

Bottom line Be consistent Clear rules Helps children know what is expected Helps children learn trust and confidence All caregivers should be on the same page