Guiding Children’s Behavior

Discipline The task of helping children to learn basic rules for self conduct

Punishment When something unpleasant is presented or something positive is taken away and that behavior happens less often in the future.

Effective Discipline Techniques Teach the child: How to get along with others How to handle their feelings in acceptable ways How to have positive self-esteem How to control their own behavior

Distraction Provide young children with an attractive alternative to distract them from dangerous or unsafe items or activities.

Physical Removal Move children to a new setting to prevent further forbidden behavior. Move forbidden items out of reach. “Child Proof” the environment

Give Reasons Give reasons for actions and requests to help children understand why certain behavior is desired.

Teach by Example Set a positive example to teach desired behavior. Teaching by example has the most lasting influence on children.

Impose Natural Consequences Children suffer from the actual result of their action.

Remove Privileges This type of punishment is most effective for children age five and older. It works best if the privilege taken away is related to the misbehavior.

Ignore Misbehavior Appropriate when the behavior is simply to get attention, such as a “temper tantrum”.

Time Out A short period of time when the child sits away from other people and activity. The purpose of time out is to give children a chance to calm down and regain self- control. One minute of time out for each year of a child’s age.

Avoid These Techniques Although the following actions are taken by many well-meaning parents they do little to teach the child self-discipline.

Don’t Use Physical Punishment Children younger than 2 are unable to make the connection between their behavior and a spanking. Parents who spank serve as role models for hitting other aggressive behaviors.

Don’t Withhold Love This creates the fear of being rejected or abandoned.

Don’t Offer Bribes Children can learn to expect rewards for ending inappropriate behavior.

Don’t Force Promises Children may feel forced to lie about misbehavior rather than break a promise.

Don’t Shame or Belittle This is aimed at the child as a person not the inappropriate behavior.

What is the Key to Guiding Children’s Behavior?

Consistency Helps children know what is expected of them and what responses they can expect from parents.

Check Your Understanding 1. Why should parents give a warning before punishing a child? 2. What is negative reinforcement? 3. Why is shouting an inappropriate disciplinary method? 4. Why is threatening to withhold love a poor disciplinary method? 5. Why should parents discuss discipline with their child’s other caregivers?