今日課程 Chapter 6: Listening and Responding Chapter 8: Communication and Identity 下週： Chapter 10 & 11

Ch 6: Focus Questions How do listening and hearing differ? How does effective listening differ when listening for information and listening to support others? How can we improve our listening skills? What are effective ways to express support for others? How can you control obstacles to effective listening?

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Listening and Responding People tend to more focus on talking Studies show: Average person spends 45%- 53% of waking time on listening to others Total listening time may even greater (if radio…, background…included) Listening as No. 1 quality of effective manager (survey of 1,000 HR professionals)

Hearing & Listening Hearing is a physiological activity Sound wave & ear drum Other messages received at the same time (sight) Listening

The Listening Process Being mindful Focus on what is happening in the moment An ethical commitment; Leaders must want to listen! Enhance communication Increasing understanding of what others feel & think Promoting more complete communication by others Physically receiving communication Women are more attuned to what is going on around Men tend to direct hearing in a specific way Women likely to notice contexts, details, themes in interaction Average: 300 words/min understood; 100 in speaking

The Listening Process (2) Selecting and organizing communication Perception & Attention Study: Teachers unintentionally give more attention to male than female students… As we listen: categorize people→assess them →apply stereotype→choose a script Perceptions can be wrong. Be ready to revise them! Interpreting communication Recognizing others’ viewpoint doesn’ t mean you agree with them; it does mean you make an earnest effort to grasp what they think and feel.

The Listening Process (3) Responding Signs of being involved in interaction Remembering Recall of literal messages vs. Recall of interpretation of them Memory fading Remember less than half immediately after we hear it Recall 35% after 8 hours

Obstacles to Effective Listening Situational obstacles Message overload Message complexity (next slide: sentence structure) Environmental distractions Internal Obstacles Preoccupation Prejudgment Lack of effort Not recognizing diverse listening styles e.g., Nepalese give little vocal feedback

Example of Heavy Sentence from University of Chicago, Writing Program The dog, overcome with a sense of futility at the unfairness of life, and miserable at the inattention of her master, who had become so addicted to TV reality shows that he had not left his recliner in over three days, nevertheless chased the ball. The dog chased the ball, even though she was both overcome with a sense of futility at the unfairness of life and miserable at the inattention of her master, who had become so addicted to TV reality shows that he had not left his recliner in over three days.

Forms of Ineffective Listening Pseudo-listening Monopolizing Conversational rerouting Interrupting Selective listening Defensive listening Ambushing Politics: Gathering ammunition to use in attacking a speaker Literal listening Content level vs. Relationship level of meaning

Guidelines for Effective Listening Informational & critical listening Be mindful Control obstacles Ask questions Use aids to recall Repeating (e.g., people’s names) Mnemonics Organize information

Guidelines for Effective Listening Relationship listening Be mindful Total listening: more than words, also silence & meaning buried Suspend judgment Strive to understand the other’s perspective Minimal encouragers: “Really?” “Go on!” Paraphrasing: “It sounds as if..” “You seem to..” Asking questions Express support See Father-Son conversation on page 170 ( 結尾的對話 )

Ch 8: Focus Questions What is the self? How does communication influence personal identity? How can you resist destructive patterns in communication with yourself? What are values and risks of self-disclosing communication? How can you foster your personal growth?

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Communication & Personal Identity “Self” is a process. Continuously evolves and changes. The self consists of perspectives: Views about ourselves, about others, and about social life that changes over time as we interact with others. 自我發展量表 ( 民 80 ：江南發 ) 自我發展量表

The self arises in communication with others Self is not innate but is acquired (Mead, 1934). Self-fulfilling prophesy: expectations, judgment of ourselves (internalized labels) Particular others: parents, siblings, peers Reflected appraisals: a process of seeing ourselves through the eyes of others (Significant others) Generalized others: collection of rules, roles, attitudes Communicated by people we interact with, By media, By institutions: Judicial system, marriage, education system

Communication with family members Direct definition: Explicitly told Identity scripts: Rules of living and identity of a family Attachment styles: Patterns of parenting; how to approach relationship (next slide) Secure attachment: Consistent, attentive; self-worth Fearful attachment: Rejecting, abusive; unworthy of love Dismissive attachment: Rejecting, abusive; dismissing others as unworthy Anxious/ambivalent attachment: Inconsistent parenting; assuming others right / self unworthy of love

Attachment Styles Secure Dismissive Fearful Anxious/Ambivalent PositiveNegative Positive Negative Views of self Views of others Consistent, attentive; self- worth Rejecting, abusive; unworthy of love Inconsistent parenting; assuming others right / self unworthy of love Rejecting, abusive; dismissing others as unworthy

Communication with Peers Playmates, classmates, friends, partners… Reflected appraisals Social comparisons Judgment about talents, qualities, abilities… Self-disclosure Revelation of personal information about ourselves Hopes, fears, experiences, perceptions… The Johari Window: four types of information (knowledge) about us (p. 214)

The Johari Window Open Area Hidden Area Unknown Area Blind Area Known to selfUnknown to self Known to others Unknown to others

Communication with society Four aspects of identity Race Gender Sexual orientation Socioeconomic level Other social values Intelligence, weight (slimness), height…

Challenges in Communicating with Ourselves Reflecting critically on social perspectives Ethical obligation to promote positive social values and a fair social world Individual & collective efforts to revise social meaning Seeking personal growth as a communicator Set realistic goals Assess yourself fairly (reasonable social comparison) Self disclose appropriately: safe, gradual, reciprocal Creative a supportive climate for change Uppers: who communicates positively about us Downers: who communicates negatively about us Vultures: an extreme form of downers; who attacks our self-concepts