Listening “Seek first to understand… Then to be understood.”
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Presentation on theme: "Listening “Seek first to understand… Then to be understood.”"— Presentation transcript:
1 Listening “Seek first to understand… Then to be understood.” (Covey, 1997)
2 Listening is not a communication action, it is a human action. Understanding how to listen effectivelyis an essential skill that benefitseverything from family life to business.Survey of personnel managers:Listening is most critical skill for working effectively in teams.Group members view people who listen well as good leaders.
3 Introduction and Overview What listening IS NOT:Hearing vs. ListeningFaulty listening behaviorsReasons for poor listening
4 What listening IS: Stages of successful listening Pages 113, 114Personal listening stylesPages 123, 124Informational listeningPages
5 What Listening IS NOT Hearing vs. Listening: Hearing: Listening: “Sounds waves strike the ear drum and cause vibrations that are transmitted to the brain.”Automatic and effortlessListening:“The brain gives the sounds meaning.”Unnatural, requires effort
6 Faulty listening behaviors Pseudo listening:Imitation or fake listening.Pretending to listen.Selective listening:Responding only to the parts of a speakers remarks that interest the receiver and rejecting everything else.Defensive listening:Taking innocent comments as personal attacks.
7 Faulty Listening, cont. Ambushing: Insulated listening: Using listening skills to collect information to use for an attack on the speaker.Insulated listening:Avoiding a particular topic.Insensitive listening:Unable to look beyond words for other meanings.
8 Faulty listening, cont. Stage Hogging: Attempting to turn the conversation to oneself.
9 Reasons for Poor Listening Requires Effort: listening is hard; it is not naturalMessage overloadRapid thoughtPsychological noisePhysical noise
10 Reasons for Poor Listening, cont. Hearing problemsFaulty assumptionsCultural differencesMedia
11 What Listening IS: Listening Defined Listening: Occurs when the brain gives the sound transmitted meaning.Listening is not like breathingIt is unnaturalIt requires effort
12 What Listening IS: Stages of Successful Listening 1. Attending:Paying attention to a signal2. Understanding:Process of making sense of a message3. Responding:Giving observable feedback to the speakerShows you care - verbal and nonverbal4. RememberingResidual Message: What is rememberedOnly 25% of original message after two months
13 Personal Listening Styles Content-Oriented:Interested in the quality of the message.This style is useful when looking at a wide range of perspectives and options.People-oriented:Concerned with creating and maintaining positive relationships
14 Personal Listening Styles, cont. Action-Oriented:Concerned with the task at hand.Useful for business needs.Time-oriented:Most concerned with efficiency.
15 Informational Listening Used when one wants to understand another person.The goal is to receive the same thoughts that the other person is trying to convey.
16 Informational Listening, cont. Don’t Argue or Judge PrematurelyListen to the other person firstTry to understand his/her viewpointEvaluateArgue or agree
17 Informational Listening, cont. Separate the message from the speaker“Don’t kill the messenger”There may be truth in the message even from an undesirable messenger.
18 Informational Listening, cont. Be open to finding a gold nuggetLook for the big ideas and main pointsAsk questionsOpen ended - Require an explanationClosed - “Yes” or “No”Paraphrase:Restate in your own words what you believe that the speaker said.Take notes
19 Critical ListeningJudging the quality of a message and deciding to accept or reject it.1. Listen for information first2. Evaluate the speakers credibility- check the source3. Examine evidence and reasoning4. Remove emotion
20 Empathetic Listening Stages of listening (Covey, 1997) Ignoring Pretend listeningSelective listeningAttentive listeningEmpathic listening:The first step to understand someone
21 Empathetic ListeningThe goal is to build a relationship or help solve a problem.This style of listening has the most respect for the other’s point of view.
22 Empathetic Listening Ways to practice empathetic listening: 1. Advising:Offering suggestions2. Judging:Looking for constructive judgments3. Analyzing:Interpreting the speaker’s message
23 Empathic Listening, cont. 4. Questioning:Helps sort out problems5. Supporting responses6. Prompting:The goal is to help the speaker draw conclusions for him/herself7. Paraphrasing:Restating in your words what you think is the speaker’s message.
24 Helping - When and How Choose the best helping style based on: Situation based on what the person needs:AdviceEncouragement and supportYour analysis or judgmentProbing questions and paraphrasing to help him/her find own answers
25 Helping - When and How Choose the best helping style based on: The other person’s most likely reaction to your help. Some people:Appreciate direct adviceWant you to make the decision for themAre defensive and aren’t capable of receiving analysis or judgments. They lash out and want to “kill the messenger.”Can’t think through the problems clearly even with the use of probing and paraphrasing.
26 Summary Five Step Process Identify and refute myths about listening Conclusion: Effective listening is a necessary skill to be successfulFive Step Process1. Hearing2. Attending3. Understanding4. Responding5. Remembering
27 Summary continued Ineffective types of listening Pseudo Selective DefensiveAmbushingInsulatedInsensitiveStage Hogging
28 Summary continued Challenges that make effective listening difficult EffortMessage (Information) OverloadRapid ThoughtPsychological NoisePhysical NoiseHearing Problems
29 Summary continued Challenges that make effective listening difficult Wanting to talk more than to listenCultural differencesMedia influences
30 Summary continued Personal Listening Styles Content-Oriented Evaluate the quality of ideasPeople-OrientedCreating and maintaining positive relationshipsAction-OrientedWant to decide what response is required by a messageTime-OrientedEfficiency, Meeting deadlines
31 Summary continued Three types of listening 1. Informational Goal: Understand another person’s ideasUse active listening P & P2. CriticalGoal: Judge the quality of an idea3. EmpathicGoal: Help the speaker, not the receiver