Lesson 3 : Guidelines to Listening and Speaking

Before I tell you what it is… Allow me tell you what it is not.

Communication is NOT

Communication is: 7%  What you say (words) 38%  How you say it (volume, pitch, rhythm, etc.) 55%  Your body language (facial expressions, posture, etc.)

The Details

The Four Major Factors  There are four major factors that come into play in any form of communication.  These four factors should be present to have effective communication.

The Four Major Factors  The Speaker

The Four Major Factors  The Speaker

The Four Major Factors  The Listener

The Four Major Factors  The Listener

The Four Major Factors  The Message

The Four Major Factors  The Message

The Four Major Factors  The Delivery

The Four Major Factors  The Delivery

The Four Major Factors  The Delivery

The Four Major Factors  The Delivery

The Four Major Factors  The Delivery

The Four Major Factors  The Speaker  The Listener  The Message  The Delivery

Who is the Speaker?  The speaker is the anchor of any form conversation  He is the one who delivers the package- the message

Who is the Speaker?  The speaker must have complete understanding of the message that has to be delivered.  The speaker must have the physical ability to deliver the message

Tips for a Speaker

 Know what you want to say  Be direct to the point  Speak at a moderate pace  Look at the listener in the eye

Why is listening important?

1. Since the rise of the radio and the development of television, the spoken word has regained much of its lost stature. 2. Being listened to means we are taken seriously, our ideas and feelings are known, and, ultimately, what we have to say matters.

Why is listening important? 3. Generous listening enhances our own well-being and is the natural perspective of psychology, in which all human behavior is seen as motivated by the agendas of the self. 4. We learn our culture largely through listening; we learn to think by listening; we learn to love by listening; we learn about ourselves by listening.

Why is listening important? 5. Being listened to spells the difference between feeling accepted and feeling isolated. 6. In our society, listening is essential to the development and survival of the individual. 7. Most people will not really listen or pay attention to your point of view until they become convinced you have heard and appreciate theirs.

Statistics

1. Some studies indicate that we may be listening at only a 25 percent comprehension rate. 2. How much of what we know that we have learned by listening? 85%. 3. Amount of the time we are distracted, preoccupied or forgetful? 75%

Statistics 4. How much we usually recall immediately after we listen to someone talk? 50% 5. Amount of time we spend listening? 45% 6. How much we remember of what we hear? 20%

Statistics 7. Amount of us who have had formal educational experience with listening? less than 2% 8. We listen at words per minute, but think at words per minute. 9. Number of business studies that indicate that listening is a top skill needed for success in business?

10 Irritating Listening Habits:

1. Interrupting the speaker. 2. Not looking at the speaker. 3. Rushing the speaker and making him feel that he’s wasting the listener’s time. 4. Showing interest in something other than the conversation. 5. Getting ahead of the speaker and finishing her thoughts.

10 Irritating Listening Habits: 6. Not responding to the speaker’s requests. 7. Saying, “Yes, but...,” as if the listener has made up his mind. 8. Topping the speaker’s story with “That reminds me...” or “That’s nothing, let me tell you about...” 9. Forgetting what was talked about previously. 10. Asking too many questions about details.

10 Poor Listening Habits

Effective listeners do their best to avoid these habits: 1. Calling the subject uninteresting 2. Criticizing the speaker &/or delivery 3. Getting over-stimulated 4. Listening only for facts (bottom line) 5. Not taking notes or outlining everything

10 Poor Listening Habits 6. Faking attention 7. Tolerating or creating distractions 8. Tuning out difficult material 9. Letting emotional words or ideas block the message or get us of track 10. Wasting the time difference between speed of speech and speed of thought

Reasons for poor listening 1. Not focusing on the message. 2. Passive listeners. 3. A physical communication setting that works against listening. 4. Listener’s own needs that may compete with the speaker’s ideas. 5. Unfamiliar language. 6. Preset ideas about the topic, the speaker, or the occasion

The Message  The message is the essence of communication. It is the package that the speaker delivers.  The message should be, of all things, clear and easy to understand  It should be delivered in a language that can be understood by the listener  The message should be pure and free of unnecessary mumbo-jumbo

OPENINGS. Stay away from the predictable (Good morning..., Today, I'm here to talk about...). Instead:  Begin with a provocative question, anecdote, or current event—and how it relates to the content.  Ask the audience a question  Set up a problem—and promise that they'll have all the tools for a solution by the end of the class.

CLOSINGS. Many speakers simply talk until the end of the time or beyond it—and say, "I see we're out of time." Instead:  Plan a rhythm for your speaking—plan to end with content 5 minutes early, so you can summarize, raise questions.  Set aside a time for questions—and structure that time.

Delivery  Be conversational; speak naturally; be yourself (or your best self).  Vary your pacing and voice.  Use gestures to emphasize points.  Look at the audience.  Use language to create pictures.  Observe the techniques of others.

The Four Major Factors  The Speaker  The Listener  The Message  The Delivery

The Four Major Factors Put all these factors together The SpeakerThe Message The ListenerThe Delivery

Going Shopping!

Lesson 3 : Guidelines to Listening and Speaking