Not My Best Side by U.A. Fanthorpe (pg 25)

Not My Best Side This poem is based on Uccello’s painting St George and the Dragon. The poem’s three stanzas are monologues from each of the three characters depicted in the painting – the dragon, the maiden and the knight respectively. It subverts (breaks) the stereotypes associated with the characters so that the traditionally evil, fearsome dragon is a vain, thoughtful loser; the maiden is feisty and crude and the knight is arrogant and shallow.

Subject and Themes Mythology Stereotypes Personality

Note how the poem is divided into three stanzas like chapters – each is narrated as a dramatic monologue by the characters in the painting Not my best side, I'm afraid. The artist didn't give me a chance to Pose properly, and as you can see, Poor chap, he had this obsession with Triangles, so he left off two of my Feet. As if posing for the painting Demonstrates the dragon’s vanity (or maybe self-consciousness?) triangles – look back at the painting! We hear the chatty, friendly tone of the dragon Opening establishes the comical tone of the poem

I didn't comment at the time (What, after all, are two feet To a monster?) but afterwards I was sorry for the bad publicity. rhetorical question – used in brackets (parenthesis). It is like he is asking the reader for his/her opinion Why, I said to myself, should my conqueror Be so ostentatiously beardless, and ride A horse with a deformed neck and square hoofs? The dragon speaks very well, using quite sophisticated language – he is presented positively ostentatiously – means deliberately trying to attract attention – the dragon thinks the knight is vain and arrogant. Ironic because the dragon is also very concerned with his own appearance

again, obsession with appearances – he doesn’t fancy the girl much… Why should my victim be so Unattractive as to be inedible, And why should she have me literally On a string? I don't mind dying Ritually, since I always rise again, But I should have liked a little more blood To show they were taking me seriously. like Christ, the dragon will be resurrected – he is an immortal figure unlike the knight and maiden. He says this very matter-of-factly: ‘I don’t mind dying’, as if he has been here many times before creates a sense of performance; maintains humorous tone – the dragon thinks more blood in the painting would make him be considered more of a martyr like Christ

II It's hard for a girl to be sure if She wants to be rescued. I mean, I quite Took to the dragon. It's nice to be Liked, if you know what I mean. He was So nicely physical, with his claws And lovely green skin, and that sexy tail, subverts stereotype – she preferred the dragon to the knight sense of loneliness she sees the dragon as an object of desire – she misunderstands his intentions

And the way he looked at me, He made me feel he was all ready to Eat me. And any girl enjoys that. misunderstanding – dual meaning. She is crude and ‘eat me’ implies oral sex to her as if she is winking at the reader – sexual innuendo. This demonstrates she is not the stereotypically innocent, naïve virgin but a modern, honest woman

drive word ‘so’ – moves the narrative on – it is as if she was going off on a tangent ‘boy’ - negative? Would the knight see himself as a boy or a man? So when this boy turned up, wearing machinery, On a really dangerous horse, to be honest I didn't much fancy him. I mean, What was he like underneath the hardware? implies the horse is more dangerous than the knight sexual innuendo again – she compares him unfavourably with the dragon – addresses the audience as all the characters do at some point. ‘Hardware’ refers to his armour

she is fussy; these are modern concerns He might have acne, blackheads or even Bad breath for all I could tell, but the dragon-- Well, you could see all his equipment At a glance. Still, what could I do? The dragon got himself beaten by the boy, And a girl's got to think of her future. use your imagination! despite her crude honesty she is still helpless and must fit in with the ‘story’ she ends up being pragmatic (sensible, thinks things through)

alliteration on ‘d’ – harsh, aggressive – like his arrogance III I have diplomas in Dragon Management and Virgin Reclamation. My horse is the latest model, with Automatic transmission and built-in Obsolescence. My spear is custom-built, humorous – sees his role as a dragon slayer and a taker of virginity. Note the modern use of words like ‘management’ and ‘reclamation’ he is shallow – all he cares about is having the latest gadgets – modern way of thinking ‘automatic transmission’ – like a car ‘obsolescence’ – means that the horse is replaced when it becomes out of date (obsolete)

continues to be obsessive about his equipment arrogance is misguided – we already know that the girl prefers the dragon And my prototype armour Still on the secret list. You can't Do better than me at the moment. I'm qualified and equipped to the Eyebrow. So why be difficult? Don't you want to be killed and/or rescued In the most contemporary way? Don't You want to carry out the roles That sociology and myth have designed for you? series of rhetorical questions shows his arrogance and delusions ‘don’t you want to…for you?’ – this pokes fun at the whole idea of the story. We have already seen in the poem that the ‘roles’ designed for the characters have been subverted ‘and/or’ – he speaks like a robot – lacks personality

Don't you realize that, by being choosy, You are endangering job prospects In the spear- and horse-building industries? What, in any case, does it matter what You want? You're in my way. humorous – he sounds ridiculous ends in a completely dismissive tone – ‘you’re in my way’.

Links to other poems… This poem is all about the way people’s true identities are hidden and that we never truly know what people are like. In this way, the poem links with the ‘faces’ people wear in ‘Once Upon a Time’. The subversion (breaking) of stereotypes links with ‘Warning’, where the narrator looks forward to breaking the tradition of a safe, cosy life in old age.

Hints and Tips This is an enjoyable, clever poem which uses humour to make the point that people do not necessarily conform to stereotypes. If you wish to write about the poem in an exam you must be comfortable with the way humour is used: the irony of the girl admiring the dragon over the knight, the quite crude sexual innuendo, the use of rhetorical questions to address the audience. Other poems that use humour are ‘Warning’ and ‘I Shall Paint My Nails Red’. It is interesting to ask yourself which character you ‘side’ with the most. It is clearly not the traditional ‘hero’ figure of George.

Sample Questions U.A. Fanthorpe uses humour to make a statement about people’s identity. Explain how this use of humour is effective. Look again at this poem and ‘Once Upon a Time’. What do these poems reveal about the way people are expected to conform to stereotypes in society?