Communication Climates Part III SUSTAINING HEALTHY CLIMATES- UNDERSTANDING HOW TO BE SUPPORTATIVE

Confirmation We need to confirm our own individual value but we also need to confirm the value of others Interpersonal communication principals also concern how we treat ourselves If we consider our needs less important, our opinions less valid then we will struggle to maintain healthy, balanced communication climates We confirm ourselves when we express ourselves honestly At the same time expressing ourselves in a way that is respectful of others We need to assert ourselves in the workplace or we give up the chance to influence the quality of work produced and how it is organized We need to assert ourselves in personal relationships so your partner understands your ideas, feelings and needs

Aggression/Assertion/Deference Aggressive CommunicationAssertive CommunicationDeference (Submissive) I demand that we spend time together I’d like to create more time for us.If you don’t want us to spend time with each other, that’s okay with me. Get this report done TODAY. I’d like to get this report done today, can you manage that? I need this report today, but if you can’t get it done, that’s all right.

Respect Diversity – We all are Different! Personal and professional relationships vary in how we communicate in them ◦Some workplaces might be very formal others might be informal ◦Same with personal relationships (parents vs. dating/friendships) People are diverse so the way we communicate is diverse. No one communicates exactly the same way. ◦There is a range of communication choices we can each make and patterns we choose that affect our communication climates and how our relationships are maintained or breakdown. There isn’t a one size fits all roadmap to successful communication. ◦People value time differently. ◦Be flexible about when you want to engage in a conflict- no everyone can engage in a tense conversation at the same time, place or style that you can. Find a middle ground. ◦Bracketing (setting aside things for a later discussion) also helps keep us from getting sidetracked in conversations.

Show Grace When Appropriate Grace – a willingness to excuse someone who has no right to expect your compassion or forgiveness. ◦Showing grace when appropriate helps maintain personal and professional relationships ◦It’s important for yourself and personal healing (intrapersonal communication) Grace is given without strings. ◦We defer our needs, show kindness, forgive a wrong without expecting a reward or anything in return. ◦We don’t expect the other person to feel indebted to us. HOWEVER, Grace isn’t always appropriate. Generosity of spirit can be exploited and people can take advantage of kindness and trust. Some people will abuse this (repeatedly). When grace is extended and then exploited remember not to fault yourself. You are the bigger person.

Group Discussion Discuss as a group a time when you found it difficult to confirm someone else. Is it hard to confirm another person when you disagree with them? After covering the chapter in class, can you distinguish from a disagreement and when you are disconfirming the person (ex: you can disagree but are you going farther and de-valuing the person?)