Chapter Thirteen: Conflict in Interpersonal Relationships This multimedia product and its contents are protected under copyright law. The following are prohibited by law: any public performance or display, including transmission of any image over a network; preparation of any derivative work, including the extraction, in whole or in part, of any images; any rental, lease, or lending of the program. The Interpersonal Communication Book 11th Ed. The Interpersonal Communication Book 11th Ed. Joseph A. DeVito

Chapter 13: Conflict in Interpersonal Relationships Copyright © 2007 Allyn and Bacon2 The aim of an argument or discussion should not be victory, but progress. Joseph Joubert

Chapter 13: Conflict in Interpersonal Relationships Copyright © 2007 Allyn and Bacon3 Conflict Issues  Intimacy issues such as affection & sex  Power issues such as excessive demand or possessiveness, lack of equality in the relationships, friends, & leisure time  Personal Flaws issues such as drinking or smoking, personal grooming, drving style  Personal Distance issues such as frequent absence & heavy school or job commitments  Social Issues such as politics & social policies,parents & personal values  Distrust Issues such as prevous lovers & lying Microsoft Image

Chapter 13: Conflict in Interpersonal Relationships Copyright © 2007 Allyn and Bacon4 PRINCIPLES OF INTERPERSONAL CONFLICT

Chapter 13: Conflict in Interpersonal Relationships Copyright © 2007 Allyn and Bacon5 Nature of Conflict Negative Effects  Can Lead to Negative Feelings  Can Hurt Other  Can Lead to Hiding Feelings Microsoft Image

Chapter 13: Conflict in Interpersonal Relationships Copyright © 2007 Allyn and Bacon6 Nature of Conflict Positive Effects  Forces You to Examine the Problem  Can Prevent Hostilities  Can Enable You to State What You Each Want

Chapter 13: Conflict in Interpersonal Relationships Copyright © 2007 Allyn and Bacon7

Chapter 13: Conflict in Interpersonal Relationships Copyright © 2007 Allyn and Bacon8 Online Conflict  Sending Unsolicited Commercial Messages  Using Reply All when Not Needed  Spamming  Flaming  Trolling  Ill-Timed Cell Calls and Text Messages Microsoft Image

Chapter 13: Conflict in Interpersonal Relationships Copyright © 2007 Allyn and Bacon9 Content and Relationship Conflict  Content  Centers on External Objects, Events, and Persons  Relationship  Who’s In Charge  Equality or Lack of It  Often Hidden as Content Conflict Microsoft Image

Chapter 13: Conflict in Interpersonal Relationships Copyright © 2007 Allyn and Bacon10 Conflict Styles  Competing : I win you lose  Avoiding: I lose, you lose  Accomodating: I lose, you win  Collaborating: I Win, you win  Compromising: I win & lose, You win & lose

Chapter 13: Conflict in Interpersonal Relationships Copyright © 2007 Allyn and Bacon11 Conflict Management  Fight in Private  Be Sure You’re Ready to Fight  Know What You’re Fighting about  Fight About Problems that Can be Solved

Chapter 13: Conflict in Interpersonal Relationships Copyright © 2007 Allyn and Bacon12

Chapter 13: Conflict in Interpersonal Relationships Copyright © 2007 Allyn and Bacon13 Culture and Conflict  Choice of Topics  Choice of Other in Conflict  High-Context vs. Low-Context Cultures  What Constitutes Conflict  Responses to Physical and Verbal Abuse

Chapter 13: Conflict in Interpersonal Relationships Copyright © 2007 Allyn and Bacon14 Evaluate the Solution  The Fact Hat  The Feeling Hat  The Negative Argument Hat  The Positive Benefits Hat  The Creative New Idea Hat  The Control of Thinking Hat Microsoft Image

Chapter 13: Conflict in Interpersonal Relationships Copyright © 2007 Allyn and Bacon15 Culture and Conflict (continued)  Conflict Strategies  Types of Conflict and How They are Dealt with  Position in Organizational Hierarchy Microsoft Image

Chapter 13: Conflict in Interpersonal Relationships Copyright © 2007 Allyn and Bacon16 Conflict Management Stages  Define the Conflict  Examine Possible Solutions  Test Solutions  Evaluate Solutions  Accept or Reject Solutions Microsoft Image

Chapter 13: Conflict in Interpersonal Relationships Copyright © 2007 Allyn and Bacon17 Define the Conflict  Define both Content and Relationship Issues  Define the Problem in Specific Terms  Focus on the Present  Empathize  Avoid Mindreading Microsoft Image

Chapter 13: Conflict in Interpersonal Relationships Copyright © 2007 Allyn and Bacon18 Examine Possible Solutions  Brainstorm Alone or with Partner  Look for Win/Win Solutions  Weigh Costs and Rewards Microsoft Image

Chapter 13: Conflict in Interpersonal Relationships Copyright © 2007 Allyn and Bacon19 Test the Solution  Test the Solution Mentally  Test the Solution in Practice Microsoft Image

Chapter 13: Conflict in Interpersonal Relationships Copyright © 2007 Allyn and Bacon20 Accept or Reject the Solution  Put into Operation  If Not Working  Look for Other Solutions  Redefine the Problem  Learn from the Process  Keep Conflict in Perspective  Attack Negative Feelings Microsoft Image

Chapter 13: Conflict in Interpersonal Relationships Copyright © 2007 Allyn and Bacon21

Chapter 13: Conflict in Interpersonal Relationships Copyright © 2007 Allyn and Bacon22 Conflict Management Strategies Influenced by...  The Goals  Your Emotional State  Your Cognitive Assessment  Your Personality and Communication Competence  Your Family History Microsoft Image

Chapter 13: Conflict in Interpersonal Relationships Copyright © 2007 Allyn and Bacon23 Conflict Management Strategies  Win-Lose, Win-Win Strategies  Avoidance and Active Fighting Strategies  Force and Talk Strategies  Face-Detracting and Face-Enhancing Strategies  Verbal Aggressiveness and Argumentativeness Strategies

Chapter 13: Conflict in Interpersonal Relationships Copyright © 2007 Allyn and Bacon24 Conflict Management Strategies  Win-Lose, Win-Win Strategies  A wins, B loses  B wins, A loses  A and B Win  Avoidance and Active Fighting Strategies  Avoidance  Nonnegotiation  Silencers

Chapter 13: Conflict in Interpersonal Relationships Copyright © 2007 Allyn and Bacon25 Conflict Management Strategies (continued)  Force and Talk Strategies  Act the Role of Listener  Express Your Support or Empathy  State Your Thoughts and Feelings  Face-Detracting and Face-Enhancing Strategies  Belittling  Blame

Chapter 13: Conflict in Interpersonal Relationships Copyright © 2007 Allyn and Bacon26 Conflict Management Strategies (continued)  Verbal Aggressiveness and Argumentativeness Strategies  Infliction of Psychological Pain  Attacking others’ Self-Concept  Character Attacks  Argumentativeness  Quality to Be Cultivated

The Interpersonal Communication Book 11th Ed. The Interpersonal Communication Book 11th Ed.