THERE IS A RIGHT AND WRONG WAY TO DATE

A healthy dating relationship consist of 2 individuals who have mutual respect for one another (they like each other) Make sure the person you want to date likes you in return (Otherwise potential for embarrassment) Be aware and advised that not all students will be excited about your new dating status (This can sometimes result in jealousy, envy or strife in friendships)

Value - beliefs, ideas, background and wishes Respect - likes, dislikes, differences and choices Consider the other person - you’re not in the relationship alone (their opinion counts as well as yours)

The social practice of getting to know someone you like and are attracted to An extension of a special friendship A way to learn more about a person

An expression of the beginning stages of young adulthood An event that can occur at various stages in life Is usually temporary “NOT” intended to be permanent! No matter how strong your feelings are Is “NOT” a promise of marriage (which is intended to be permanent)

Group dating Double dating Dating at home with parents/guardian near by Inviting a good friend to tag along Have the date planned & know what you’re going to do; ensure you both agree; NO surprises!

Leave if you are uncomfortable Trust your instincts Use good judgment

Be sure a parent/guardian or good friend knows your plans and what time to expect you home Be aware that using drugs or alcohol decrease your ability to make wise/good decisions Be firm and straightforward in your relationships, assert yourself. (NEVER allow anyone to convince you to do something dangerous, illegal or against your values)

Getting to know someone takes time (that’s what dating is all about) Spending too much alone time w/someone you don’t know could present problems later Know what you will and will not accept in a dating relationship

What is acceptable? How do I know if my partner has crossed the line? How do I know if I am a victim?

“I didn’t cause this, I didn’t do it. This happened to me and it could happen to anybody.” -Rihanna

“What could I possibly have said to make him hit me and do this?” -Rihanna

“It was confusing for me, I was still attached by love but I wasn’t thinking about the reality of the situation.” -Rihanna

“I knew he felt really bad about doing it, I just didn’t know if he understood the extent of what he really did.” -Rihanna

“I didn’t talk about it to anyone, no one.” -Rihanna

In February 2009, R&B singer Rihanna became a victim of dating violence. Today she has talked about her story to help other dating violence victims.

1 in 3 high school students have been or will be involved in an abusive relationship 40% of girls (14-17) say they know someone who has been hit or beaten by a boyfriend Teen dating violence most often takes place in the home of one of the partners

In 1995, 7% of all murder victims were young women who were killed by their boyfriends 20% of dating couples report some type of violence in their relationship Most reported dating violence is typically towards the female, however males can also be victims of teen dating violence

The following teens give their account of teen dating relationship gone WRONG

Extreme jealousy Controlling behavior Quick involvement Unpredictable mood swings Alcohol and/or drug use Explosive anger Isolates you from friends and family Uses force during arguments Owns/uses weapons Refuses to let you end the relationship

Verbally abusive (calls you names) Verbal put downs about you or family Blames you when he or she treats you badly (it’s your fault they act the way they do) Does not take responsibility for their own behavior Tells you who to talk to, what to wear, where you can go and who you can hang out with

What can I do if I feel my dating relationship is or may become abusive: Trust your instincts Seek out a trusted adult (always best to inform a parent/guardian) Call the police if you are alone w/the person and they are physically abusive Inform the SRO, principal or counselor at your school

Don’t ignore it, talk with your friend Express your concerns, provide support-don’t judge Encourage friend to confide in a trusted adult Never put yourself in the middle of a dangerous situation. Call 911 if you witness an assault. If you suspect abuse, tell a trusted adult (school counselor, SRO, principal)

Works best w/parental involvement Not designed to be a permanent A time of getting to know someone and have safe fun Should be a relationship of mutual RESPECT

I have the right to…. Be treated with respect always My body, thoughts, opinions, and property Choose and keep my friends Change my mind at any time Not be abused-physically, emotionally, or sexually Leave a relationship Say no Be treated as an equal To disagree To live without fear YOU have the right to be RESPECTED in every RELATIONSHIP!

Helpful resources: (to report or get advice about teen dating violence) DHS.CaresAbout.Us (it’s reserved just for you) National Domestic Violence Hotline SAFE (7233) SAFEYOUTH ( ) Friends of the Family School counselors and staff

DHS.CaresAbout.Us (Please click on picture below.)

Denton ISD Counseling Department Friends of the Family National Domestic Violence Hot Line Healthy Teen Dating (txssc.txstate.edu) SAFE Dating = Healthy Dating