1. Dating Violence and Sexual Abuse Prevention Texas State House Bills 121 and 1041

2. “I’m dating!” social practice of getting to know someone you like and are attracted to an extension of a special friendship a way to learn more about a person an expression of the beginning of young adulthood usually temporary, NOT intended to be permanent NOT a promise of marriage (which is permanent) But what is “dating?”

3. What Should I Know About Dating? There is a right and wrong way to date... A healthy relationship consists of 2 individuals who have mutual respect for one another (they like each other) Make sure the person you want to date likes you in return (otherwise there is potential for embarrassment) Be aware and advised that not all students will be excited about your new dating status. This can sometimes result in jealousy, envy, or conflict in friendships.

4. Making Sure Dating is a Safe and Fun Experience! Group dating Double dating Dating at home with parents/guardian nearby Inviting a good friend to tag along Have the date planned and know what you’re going to do. Make sure there are no surprises!

5. Safety Tips For Healthy and Safe Dating Leave if you’re uncomfortable Make sure your parents know where you are and when you will be home Trust your instincts Use good judgment Never allow someone to convince you to do something dangerous, illegal, or against your values Know what you WILL and WILL NOT accept in a relationship Getting to know someone takes time. That’s what dating is all about!

7. Definition of Dating Violence Can occur in a current or past relationship Abuse can be physical, sexual, verbal, emotional, and/or digital The abuse harms, threatens, intimidates, or controls the other person The abuse affects the student’s ability to participate in/benefit from educational programs, activities, or creates an intimidating, threatening, hostile, or offensive educational environment. The purpose or effect of the abuse is substantial and unreasonable interference with academic performance The abuse adversely affects educational opportunities

8. What does “dating violence” look like? Physical or sexual assault Name-calling Put-downs Threats toward student, student’s family, or members of student’s household Destroying student’s property Threatening harm to self or others if the relationship ends Isolation student from friends of family Stalking Threatening new dating partner Encouraging others to engage in above behaviors

11. Teen Dating Violence Statistics

12. Sexual Abuse/Assault Prevention Sexual abuse/assault occurs when: an individual is intoxicated or impaired because they are legally unable to give consent or permission an individual has sexual contact with a minor (under 18 years old) individuals who are 14 years old are younger cannot legally consent to any sexual contact an individual does not give consent to any sexual contact Non-contact sexual abuse offenses include: solicitation, transmission, and possession of child pornography includes naked or partially dressed pictures of a minor (under age 17)

13. Effects of Abuse Depression Anxiety Changes in academic performance Unhealthy behaviors drugs, alcohol, etc. Eating disorders Thinking about or attempting suicide Tearful, weepy, angry, or hostile Changes in sleep habits Recurrent victimization Changes in appearance Suspicious or mistrustful of others Nightmares

15. Warning Signs in the Victim Apologizes for partner’s behavior or makes excuses for it Worries about making partner angry Stops doing their favorite activities Cancels plans last minute Afraid to break up with partner Becomes abnormally withdrawn from school, friends, family, activities, etc. Appears nervous or jumpy when an email, text, or IM appears Appears uneasy about going certain places Appears angry, depressed, or frustrated after using technology Avoids discussion about what they are doing on computer or cell phone

18. CHOICE Why does abuse happen? It is NEVER the victim’s fault.

20. Dating Bill of Rights and Responsibilities ● To be heard ● To end a relationship ● To have an equal relationship ● To say no to physical closeness ● To refuse a date without feeling guilty ● To ask for a date and accept no for an answer ● To have friends other than your dating partner ● To participate in activities that excludes your partner ● To have your own feelings and be able to express them To set limits, be able to say yes or no to choices To have your limits, values, feelings, and beliefs respected To say "I love you" without having sex To be yourself, even if it is different from everyone else or from what others want you to be.

21. Dating Bill of Rights and Responsibilities Your Responsibilities: To determine your limits and values To respect the limits, values, feelings, and beliefs of others To communicate clearly and honestly To be considerate To make decisions based on what is good for you

22. Denton ISD Student Welfare Policy: Freedom From Discrimination, Harassment, and Retaliation Policy Defines Dating Violence (as already paraphrased in this presentation) Provides examples of dating violence (as already paraphrased in this presentation) Denton ISD policy prohibits retaliation by students or District employees against a student who alleges discrimination or harassment, including dating violence, or another student who, in good faith, makes a report of violence Prohibits false claims Outlines reporting, investigation, and corrective action policies This policy can be found in student Code of Conduct and employee handbooks

23. Bystanders A bystander does not have to be present when the person is abusing the target. A bystander may simply know about the abuse. A bystander cannot “rescue” the target from abuse. Bystanders can offer support and encourage him or her to talk to people who can provide help. Bystanders can also talk to friends who are behaving abusively and express their disapproval. If it is safe to do so, bystanders can also ask the person who abuses to stop.

24. What do you do if you or someone you know has been or is being sexually abused? Tell a safe adult immediately Don’t blame yourself Don’t judge Trust your instincts Call the Love is Respect Hotline 866-331-9474 Call the police if you are alone with the abusive person Talk to Officer Stacy, Counselors, Assistant Principals, or Principal

25. How to support a friend who is a victim of violence? Be non-judgmental Be there. Listen. Communicate that the abuse is NOT their fault. Offer to talk to your friend’s parents/guardians with them Offer to walk with your friend down to a counselor, AP, or SRO

26. What can ALL OF YOU do to help END dating violence and sexual assault/abuse?

27. Be an UPSTANDER!

28. Random Acts of Kindness Speak up against harmful or hateful language Pay It Forward Doing the RIGHT (not necessarily the easy) thing Take a stand, even for what might not be popular Make a new friend who is different than you

29. Resources for Support Parents Mrs. McCuller, Ms. McCallum, Mr. Howard Teachers Officer Stacy Mrs. Ricks, Mrs. House, Mr. Harned Trusted adult (Family friend, Family, Pastor/Priest, Coach, etc.)

30. Resources for Support www.LoveIsRespect.org www.breakthecycle.org Denton County Friends of the Family 940-387-5131 Legal Aid of Northwest Texas 940-383-1406 Police 911 National Domestic Violence Hotline (24/7 access) www.thehotline.org 800-799-7233 Love Is Respect Hotline 866-331-9474