Boundaries and healthy Relationships And personal Safety

What is a Safety Plan A safety plan is a practical guide that helps lower your risk of being hurt. A good safety plan helps you think through lifestyle changes that will help keep you as safe as possible at school, at home and other places that you go on a daily basis.

What does it mean to have a healthy relationship Relationships are about the interactions you with people everyday. Family Friends People at school When your able it could be boyfriend/girlfriend Neighbor, doctor, teacher

What does it mean to have a healthy relationship All of these relationships have an effect (positive or negative) in your life. Some things healthy relationships can do Make you feel like you belong Increase your confidence Provides understanding, respect and care Guidance

Things that make a Healthy Relationship Respect Trust Honesty Safety Equality Consistency Value Empathy

Unhealthy Relationships Unhealthy relationships can cause distress, discomfort and take away your self confidence. In an unhealthy relationship There is no communication One person tries to control everything Name calling Pushes, grabs, hits, punches

Boundary Principles We each belong to ourselves I belong to myself-my body, my time, my feelings, my personal space, my thoughts, my spirit, all of me. And other people belong to themselves. Some things are not a choice. My family, school, coach and/or employer have rules that I must follow. I can speak up but I cannot always control what other people will think, feel, say or do. I can set boundaries, leave or seek help if others harm my health or safety. I can always control whether a situation or relationship at home, school, with friends or at work will get better.

Boundary Principles Problems should not be secrets. Neither should touch, teasing, gift or favors. Keep telling until you get help. Getting help can mean- asking the person who is creating the problem to change his/her behavior; talking to someone who is in a position of authority to solve the problem; gathering with other people to deal with the problem together; asking for personal support from someone outside the situation completely.

Boundary Principles What makes it hard to set boundaries Internalizes beliefs: not worth it, have not right, dangerous to say no, my role is to please others. Triggers: Emotions, behaviors, thoughts, and words that cause us to explode with feelings. Longing to belong: wishing to be excepted, loved, wanted or included by another person or group. Having a grown-up in the home where appropriate boundary-setting was not allowed.

Effective Communication of Boundaries with People we know. Communication teaches people to set boundaries by talking about their own feelings, the other persons specific behavior that is a problem for them, and the specific behavior from the other person they want to see. Use I phrases Use Feeling phrases

Effective Communication of boundaries with People we know. I feel When you- state specific behavior that is a problem for you. Would you please Try and stay away from attacking phrases and “you never” or “you always” I feel frustrated when you interrupt and sound angry when I try to explain a problem to you. Would you please listen to me first and then tell me what you want to say in calm voice.

For you You have the right to your own personal boundaries/Space. If you feel scared or uncomfortable around someone please seek a trusted confidant. If you know someone who is scared or hurt, let them know you are their for them. Listen to them, don’t judge, don’t give advice.

Activity Split up into A and B groups Have each group come up with a list of 10 things that they think make a healthy relationship. Discuss Example Having cooperation within your relationship means working together as a team.