Presenter: Carolyn Young, LMSW Same-Sex Couples Counseling

SAME-SEX COUPLES COUNSELING

Same-Sex Couples MYTH/TRUTH Don’t have same problems as heterosexual couples. Same-sex relationships are not important enough to utilize counseling? Can work their own problems out. Should never foster or adopt children. Origin of problems stems from their sexual orientation of choice. Same-sex relationships have some of the same problems as heterosexual relationships.

Same Sex vs. Heterosexual Same Sex Couples vs Heterosexual Couples Goals Goals Loving Family Loving Family Children Children Committed Relationship

According to 2010 U.S. Census Bureau and 2010 American Community Survey Approximately 131,729 same-sex married couple households lived in U.S. (U.S. Census Bureau, 2010) Approximately 514,735 same-sex unmarried partner households in the U.S. (U.S. Census Bureau, 2010) Nationally about 1% of all couple households were same-sex couples. (2010 American Community Survey) Out of 594,000 same-sex couple households, 115,000 reported having children. (2010 American Community Survey) 84% of these households contained own children of the householder. (2010 American Community Survey) 2010 U.S. Census Bureau 2010 American Community Survey

Measurements of Accuracy 2010 U.S. Census Bureau revised estimates provide 10-year bench mark. U.S. Census Bureau derived data from two questions in a selected box; that could have mistakenly been checked in error ACS estimates utilizes yearly time series. ACS is a nationwide survey designed to provide communities with reliable and timely demographic, social, economic, and housing data for the nation, states, congressional districts, counties, places, and other localities every year.

Married straight couples w/families make up less than half of U.S. households….first time this group dropped below 50% since census data collected on families in Husband/wife households w/children fell by 5% between 2000 and Unmarried straight couples living together increased by 40.2%--four times the national average, but no comparison to rise in number of same-sex couples living together..80.4% from 2000 to nationaljournal.com

Conflicts Same-Sex vs. Heterosexual Couples Same-Sex Heterosexual Finances Finances Household chores Household chores Child rearing Child rearing Intimacy Intimacy EzineArticles.com

Same-Sex Couples Conflict Styles Same-Sex couples tend to use effective arguing Tend to see humor in conflicts Give each other fair hearing Brief and quickly forgotten EzineArticle.com

Heterosexual Couples Conflict Styles Argue Ineffectively – “demand-withdraw” Conflicts are more frustrating Conflict resolution takes days Women tend to focus on the relationship Men tend to focus on logic and problem solving EzineArticle.com

Why is therapy important for same-sex couples? Help couples stay together; especially pre-marital counseling Help withstand challenges/minority stresses Improve communication Deepen intimacy Improves patterns of relating EzineArticle.com

Gender Issues in Counseling Same-Sex Couples Barriers to Therapist’s Understanding of Same-Sex Relationships Heterosexual Bias Therapist Stereotypical Perception Tendency to overemphasize sex roles (Eldridge, 1987)

Therapist Heterosexual Bias Misunderstanding of same-sex population Unaware of heterosexual beliefs Religious beliefs Cultural beliefs (Eldridge, 1987)

Therapist Stereotyping Gender stereotypes acts as barriers to effective therapy Assumption of gender role Linking behaviors to previous experience with population Unrecognized homophobia (Eldridge, 1987)

Overemphasized Sex Roles Therapist understanding of an intimate relationship Comparing intimate relationships of heterosexuals to same-sex relationships Being persistent about identifying roles in the relationship (Eldridge, 1987)

Guidelines for Therapist and Educators Ref: Same-Sex Couples Therapist Training Assist clients to integrate their gay male or lesbian identities into a fulfilling life-style Therapist might keep in mind the subtle and insidious nature of heterosexual bias and use knowledge as a reminder for reflection Discuss questions with colleagues about bias Develop habits of using gender-free language (Eldridge, 1987)

Guidelines for Therapist Continues Constant Research Explore same-sex training and education seminars Identify resources and same-sex organizations Identify colleagues and utilize them as personal mentors Utilize Social Media Assist couples to develop effective coping strategies and management of minority stress. (Eldridge, 1987) (Riggle and Rostosky, 2005)

Gaps in Research Limited research has been done on Same-Sex Couples Willingness of Participants Disclosures Interest/fear in professionals

Attachment Theory Explains interpersonal and intrapersonal process in romantic relationships Framework for understanding individual differences in close relationships Secure attachment styles characterized by comfort with intimacy and trust in the availability of attachment figures Secure attachment styles have been shown to have positive outlook on their romantic relationships, resolve conflict effectively, and regulate emotions in a healthy way (Mohr, 2013)

References Eldridge, N. (1987). Gender Issues in Counseling Same-Sex Couples. Department of Educational Psychology, University of Texas at Austin. Vol. 18(6) Mohr, J., Selterman, D., and Fassinger, R. (2013). Romantic Attachment and Relationship Functioning in Same-Sex Couples. Journal of Counseling Psychology. Vol. 6(1), Riggle, E.D.B., & Rostosky, S. S. (2005). For better or worse: Psycho-legal soft spots and advance planning for same-sex couples. Professional Psychology: Research and Practice, 35,