1. CH: 14 LECTURE PREPARED BY: DR. M. SAWHNEY

2.  Stability and change from childhood to adulthood  Attraction, love, and close relationships  Adult lifestyles  Marriage and the family

3.  Easy and difficult temperaments:  Boys less likely to continue education  Girls more likely to experience marital conflict  Inhibition  Less assertive and difficulty experiencing social support.  Ability to control one’s emotions:  Positively correlated with resilience

4. Attachment History Working Model Secure comfortable with intimacy; positive views of relationships Avoidant Hesitant in getting involved in relationship; distant themselves Resistant Jealous; less trusting; demand closeness

5.  Attraction depends on: Familiarity and Similarity Consensual validation  Online matchmaking  Problems with online matchmaking?  https://www.youtube.com/w atch?v=pASy97lnsqc  Physical Attractiveness: How important is physical attractiveness in relationships?  Matching hypothesis

6. Intimacy  Erikson - Intimacy vs. isolation  Intimacy is finding oneself while losing oneself in another person  Failure to achieve intimacy results in social isolation  https://www.youtube.com/watch ?v=PnSHJmk0muI  Intimacy and independence  Balance between intimacy and commitment, and independence and freedom

7. Gender differences in friendships Women have more close friends Men friendships are more distant and competitive Romantic Love: Passionate love Affectionate love Consummate Love

9. Ending a close relationship may be wise if:  You are obsessed with a person who repeatedly betrays your trust  You are involved with someone who is draining you emotionally or financially or both  You are desperately in love with someone who does not return your feelings

10.  Single adults Proportion of individuals 25 to 34 yrs. Of age, never been married has exceeded those who were married (U.S. Census Bureau, 2010). Stereotypes associated with being single range from:  “Swinging single” to the “desperately lonely, suicidal” single Common problems  Forming intimate relationships with other adults  Confronting loneliness  Finding a place in a society that is marriage-oriented

11.  Living together in a sexual relationship without being married.  More than 60percent cohabit before they get married.  Reasons for cohabiting  Does cohabiting help the chances of marriage?  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ca4J5 F3M35M  Why is cohabiting linked with divorce?

12. Marital trends  Marriage rates in the U.S. have declined in recent years  In 2011, the U.S. average age for a first marriage climbed to 28.7 years for men and 26.5 years for women  Marriage in adolescence is more likely to end in divorce

13. Aspects of marriage vary across cultures  In China, law sets minimum marriage age for males and females.  Domesticity is valued in some cultures but not others  Religion plays an important role in many cultures

15.  Romantic love may not be a basis for marriage for all cultures  Arranged marriages are an alliance between families with love developing after marriage Commitment first and attachment second  Many traditional cultures are shifting from “arranged” to semi arranged

16.  Stabilized since 1980s  Factors for divorce Background factors Major problems  Most common times: fifth to tenth year of marriage  Consequences of divorce

17. Are similar to heterosexual relationships in satisfactions and conflicts  May build “families of choice” Misconceptions:  Masculine/feminine roles are relatively uncommon  Small segment of the gay male population has a large number of sexual partners  Gay male couples have an open relationship while lesbian couples usually do not  Stigma a major concern  http://www.cbsnews.com/news/gay-students- death-highlights-troubling-trend/

18.  Making marriage work (Gottman, 2011) 7 principles of a working marriage  Establishing love maps  Nurturing fondness and admiration  Turning toward each other instead of away  Letting your partner influence you  Solving solvable conflicts  Overcoming gridlock  Creating shared meaning

19. Parenting myths and reality:  The birth of a child will save a failing marriage  The child will think, feel, and behave like the parents did in their childhood  Having a child gives the parents a “second chance” at achievement  Parenting is an instinct and requires no training

20.  Delay having first child  Decline in family size: U.S. average of 2.1 children per woman Trends in childbearing  Fewer children result in women having more time to do other things.  Men are apt to invest a greater amount of time in fathering  Parental care is often supplemented by institutional care  Advantages of having children early/late

21.  The Enhancers  The good-enoughs  The Seekers  The Libertines  The Competent Loners  The Defeated