Characteristics of Healthy Relationships Developed by Counseling &Wellness Services for the Department of Housing & Residential Education

Agreement Partners should discuss their relationship and needs openly from the beginning of the relationship and continue to revisit their agreements over time. To facilitate this process, a person should think about him/her/herself and what they want in a partner (could be in terms of identity, such as age, race, sexual orientation, education, etc.). Agreement can also include consent and being “out” as a couple. To build trust, partners should discuss each person’s level of commitment to the relationship and whether or not it is exclusive. Sources: IOOV, 2004; NIU, 2011

Respect Both members of a relationship should feel valued and respected. This means that both partners have equal power in the relationship and that it is not based on coercion. It also means that both partners should be willing to compromise sometimes. Respect includes accepting each other as individuals with unique identities. Both parties should be allowed to define themselves and decide what their identities mean to them (ex: racial identity or sexual orientation). Partners should talk openly about how to deal with their differences. Sources: IOOV, 2004; NIU, 2011

Open Communication Open communication is a key component of healthy relationships. Communication about one’s feelings or information that is important to share (like sexual history/health) should be given and received respectfully. Partners should listen actively to what their partners share, and respect their confidentiality. Communication should be honest, open, and often, even if it is not always pleasant. Sources: IOOV, 2004; NIU, 2011

Mutual Enjoyment Both partners should be able to enjoy their time together, whether that involves physical or social interactions. Both people can talk about what is and is not fun for them. Having alone time and friends or interests outside of the relationship can make time spent together more fun! Sources: IOOV, 2004; NIU, 2011

Safe In a healthy relationship, both partners feel safe, physically, mentally, emotionally, and sexually. Talk openly about sexual health with your partner and do what is right for you in terms of getting tested for STIs and using protection/contraception. Remember it is okay and can be helpful for couples to go to counseling, for any number of reasons. Sources: IOOV, 2004; NIU, 2011

What is Love? Love is: Recognizing Differences Responsibility Friendship Pleasure Trust Love is NOT: Dependency Being Selfish Jealousy Violence Fear

Trusting yourself Being safe Using protection Being respected Getting angry Having an emotionally healthy and supportive relationship Dating Bill of Rights Both you and your partner are entitled to some things in a relationship! These include: Source: Amplify Your Voice, n.d. Agreeing or refusing to have sex Prosecuting for battery or sexual assault Experiencing intimacy Being loved Saying no

Resources  Counseling & Wellness Services   S.A.F.E. Project   Amplify Your Voice 