Understanding self and others

The self Answers the question ‘who am I?’ Meanings attached to a person by self and others that are based on personal characteristics and on people’s social roles and membership in various groups Person can have multiple selves stemming from a variety of identities (Self-pluralism) Ideal/possible self

The self Product of  What you are  What society expects you to be  What experiences you have and how you deal with them

Self-presentation/impression management: Revealing yourself to others Self-consciousness – the process of knowing oneself Self monitoring - what do you present and why Presenting your true self - makes one vulnerable, so we prefer to act according to social expectations, wear masks and remain enigmas  Assumption of maturity and sensitivity  Of course, sometimes even we do not know our true selves (cf self-consciousness)

Johari window The most useful model to describe the process of human interaction, more specifically of giving and receiving feedback Model depicts communication windows through which feedback is given and received Through feedback and disclosure, you can reveal more about yourself to others and learn more about yourself from others

12 34 Known by self Unknown by self Ask open/free/public arena area blind area unknown area hidden/facade area Others’ observation Known by others Unknown by others Tell Johari window model Self- disclosure/exposure Shared Discovery Feedback solicitation Self-discovery

Principles of change in the Johari window A change in one quadrant affects other quadrants It takes energy to hide/deny/be blind to behaviour that is involved in interaction Trust increases awareness Forced awareness is undesirable and usually ineffective The smaller the open area, the poorer the communication

Interpersonal learning means a change has taken place so the Q1 is larger and one or more of the other quadrants also has grown smaller. Working with others is facilitated by a large enough area of free activity. An increased Q1 means more of the resources and skills in the relationships can be applied to a task. There is universal curiosity about the Unknown area, but is held in check by custom, social training and diverse fears. Sensitivity means appreciating the covert aspect of behaviour, in quadrant 2, 3 and 4, and respecting the desire of others to keep them so.

Under Condition of Self Disclosure Under Condition of Feedback Under Condition of Self Disclosure and Feedback

Open HiddenHidden Blind Unknown Initial phase of group interaction Later phase of group interaction Open Hidden Blind Unknown

Feedback Purpose of feedback  Helps us see ourselves as others see us  Others learn how we see them  In so doing, it helps us move towards our goals Presupposes a caring, trusting environment  Which reduces defensiveness  Which maximises personal growth The desire for feedback is often off-set by the fear of asking for such information

The appropriate way Feedback should be given such that the person receiving it  Hears it in the most objective, least distorted way possible  Understands it  Retains the choice of using/not using it People need to be trained to give feedback  Should be given such that the recipient preserves his/her self-esteem

Indirect versus direct expression of feelings  Indirect is safer because it is ambiguous and offers an escape from commitment and rejection Description versus interpretation of behaviour  Description focuses on observable aspects whereas interpretation involves attributing intention and could be wrong Non-evaluative versus evaluative feedback  Non-evaluative looks at behaviour rather than personal worth and refrains from value-judgments Specific versus general feedback  Specific gives you an opportunity to know what to change

Freedom of choice to change versus pressure to change  Freedom of choice to change means that the decision to act on the feedback is voluntary rather than imposed Immediate versus delayed timing  Immediate feedback is most effective since memory is vivid External versus group feedback  Contingent on circumstances Solicited versus imposed feedback  Solicited is more useful since recipient is open

Modifiable versus unmodifiable behaviour  Conscious desire to change is critical Motivation to help versus motivation to hurt  Displacement and projection precipitate harm and conflict Data-based versus impressionistic Positive and negative versus completely negative Suggestive versus prescriptive Constructive versus destructive

Receiving feedback Elicit versus wait Listening and self-analysis versus denial and rationalisation Clarifying versus assuming

References Assigned course readings johari/johari_window.htmljohari/johari_window.html for Johari window

Benefits of knowing oneself Self-awareness promotes personal growth, which in turn enhances overall functioning (including work performance)

Self-consciousness: The process of knowing oneself Existentialist orientation coupled with personal courage and conviction Conducive socio-cultural environment Living comfortably with complexity and contradiction Willingness and ability to change Time and energy for introspection

Open/PublicBlind Spot Hidden/Facade AreaUnknown Known To Self Known To Others Unknown To Others Unknown To Self The open-receptive person has a large public area, reflecting someone who is open about him/herself and receptive to feedback from others. This is the person who has a clear self-image and enough confidence in who he/she is to be visible to others. If in a management role, the open- receptive person has employees who tend to feel respected and encouraged to grow. Johari Window: The Open-Receptive Person

Johari Window: The Pumper Open/PublicBlind Spot Hidden/Facade AreaUnknown Known To Self Known To Others Unknown To Others Unknown To Self The pumper has a large hidden area, reflecting someone who keeps information with him/herself. This is a person who is always asking for information and giving little in return – the game player. If the pumper is in a management role, employees tend to feel defensive with and resentful of this individual.

Johari Window: The Blabbermouth Open/ Public Blind Spot Hidden/ Facade Area Unknown Known To Self Known To Others Unknown To Others Unknown To Self The blabbermouth has a large blind area, reflecting someone who talks a lot but does not listen too well. This is the person who is pre-occupied with him/herself and doesn't know when to keep quiet. If the blabbermouth is in a management role, employees tend to get annoyed with this person and eventually will either actively or passively learn to shut him/her up.

Johari Window: The Hermit Open/ Public Blind Spot Hidden/ Facade Area Unknown Known To Self Known To Others Unknown To Others Unknown To Self The hermit has a large unknown area, reflecting a lack of self-knowledge and understanding. This is a person you can’t figure out. The hermit’s behaviour tends to be unpredictable and security- oriented. If in a management role, employees tend to feel insecure and confused about expectations.