The courage to challenge Should be willing to challenge a leader’s behavior and policies – behavior is the most difficult Leaders and followers are BOTH guardians of the purpose. Part of the courageous follower’s role is to help the leader honor the contract. If we do not challenge a leader about dysfunctional behavior, the contract is slowly voided.

Appropriate behavior – skillful questioning Preparing a leader for feedback –Defuse defensiveness: convey respect and remind the leader of the value of honesty –Link to valued outcomes –Create empathy: “I understand what you are up against….” Giving feedback –Focus negative on behavior – avoid being personal –Use “I” statements

Assertive Communication The ability to communicate clearly and directly what you need or want from another person in a way that does not deny or infringe upon the other’s rights. Use I-statements rather than you- statements; produce dialogue rather than defensiveness.

Assertive vs. Aggressive AssertiveAggressive VerbalStatement of wants. Honest statement of feelings. Direct statements which say what you mean. I statements. “Loaded” words. Accusations. Subjective terms. “You” statements that blame or label Nonverbal general demeanor Attentive listening. Generally assured manner, communicating caring support. Exaggerated show of strength. Flippant, sarcastic style. Air of superiority. VoiceFirm, warm, well modulated, relaxedTensed, shrill, loud, shaky; cold, demanding; superior, authoritarian EyesOpen, frank, direct. Eye contact, but not glaring or staring Expressionless, narrowed, cold, glaring; not really “seeing” others Stance and posture Well balanced, straight on, open, erect, relaxed Hands on hips, arms crossed, feet apart. Stiff, rigid, rude. HandsRelaxed motionsClenched. Abrupt gestures, fingerpointing, fist pounding.

I-statements: Three components 1.A specific and nonblaming description of the behavior exhibited by the other person 2.The concrete effects of that behavior 3.The speaker’s feelings about the behavior

I-statement examples BehaviorEffectsFeelings When you come late to our meetings We have to use valuable time bringing you up-to-date, and others end up doing your share of the work And I resent that When you interrupt meI lose my train of thought and don’t get to make my point And that makes me angry When you don’t complete your team assignments It disrupts the team’s ability to complete it’s mission And that concerns me

Assertive communication In addition to using I-statements: –Empathize with the other person’s position in the situation –Specify what changes you would like to see in the situation or in another’s behavior, and offer to negotiate those changes with the other person –Indicate, in a nonthreatening way, the possible consequences that will follow if change does not occur.

Assertive Communication: An example “When you are late to meetings, I get angry because I think it is wasting the time of all the other team members and we are never able to get through our agenda items. I would like you to consider finding some way of planning your schedule that lets you get to these meetings on time. That way, we can be more productive at the meetings and we can all keep to our tight schedules.”

Giving a leader input –Feedback is given in response to actions taken; input advises on actions being contemplated. –Principle should be to include all key players, not a bilateral agreement. Challenging indirectly –Find ways to engage rather than alarm the leader. –Questions to shift perspective: “Is there another way we can look at this situation?” –Anticipating questions others might ask of the leader about her policy: “How would we respond to the concern that….”

Avoiding knee-jerk rejection –Don’t ask for and don’t expect an immediate action or decision – allow time for the leader to “think about it” –Keep the door open for the leader to reflect Overcoming groupthink –Group self-image of infallibility and superiority The duty to obey –If we choose to continue being a follower of this leader and if the policies are not morally repugnant to us, we have the responsibility to implement the policies. –We have the right to challenge policies, but do not have the right to sabotage implementation.

Challenge abuse early Challenging the use of language Arrogance – leaders believe they are qualitatively different from their followers Leaders who scream Personal issues (e.g. infidelities, sexual harassment, substance abuse) Newly elevated leaders Leaders who have other agendas Leaders who won’t challenge their leaders Challenge thyself, too – BEFORE challenging the leader.