STAAR PERSUASIVE NO-KNOWS

THESIS  Many students did not answer the question why about their position as part of the thesis statement. Think of this simple formula when you write your thesis: They say + I say + because…  Ex: It seems clear that a small town allows people unique opportunities; however, a large city allows people to live the best life possible. They say: It seems clear that a small town allows people unique opportunities I say: a large city is more beneficial Because: a large city allows people to live the best life possible.

ORGANIZATION  You must have 4 total paragraphs: Intro, B.P. 1, B.P.2, and Conclusion  Your thesis statement is part of the Intro. paragraph. The intro. paragraph should include: exordium + thesis  You must have a transition between B.P. 1 and 2—either at the end of B.P. 1 or in the topic sentence of B.P. 2  The final concession and the rebuttal should be in the conclusion paragraph

TOPIC SENTENCES  Should give a reason for your position that fits under the umbrella of your thesis in order to introduce the topic of the paragraph  It is crucial that you establish your position and reasons during the outlining process

TOPIC SENTENCES  My thesis: It seems clear that a small town allows people unique opportunities; however, a large city allows people to live the best life possible. Umbrella: a large city allows people to live the best life possible.  B.P. 1 topic sentence: In a city, there are many opportunities for cultural enrichment. Reason 1: opportunities for cultural enrichment  B.P. 2 topic sentence: Along with cultural development, a city can also allow one to continue education.  Reason 2: can also allow one to continue education

DETAIL  Use CHELPS to come up with your detail  Your detail should be CONCRETE—not a hypothetical scenario, but a REAL event that happened in history, current events, to you, or to someone you know.  A general, hypothetical scenario or situation, is not nearly as effective as a concrete example

COMMENTARY  This was the weakest area. Many students ended their paragraph with elaboration.  Commentary should be a logical conclusion sentence, a conclusion arrived at because of your detail

COMMENTARY  In a city, there are many opportunities for cultural enrichment. For example, in Ernest Hemingway’s autobiographical novel, A Moveable Feast, he describes being nearly destitute when living in Paris. Most days he couldn’t afford lunch and would go to museums. He spoke of the nourishment he received from viewing paintings and the inspiration that fueled his own career. ***this is the point where many of you would move on to your next paragraph. Notice what the commentary below is doing**** Because he lived in a grand city, surrounded by the rich culture of museums, cafes, libraries, and bookstores, he evolved as a person rather than despairing of his situation.

COMMENTARY SENTENCE TEMPLATES  Follow this formula for commentary: observation based on your D + conclusion that applies to your position = commentary  Because ___ (observation) ____, __ (conclusion) _____. Because he lived in a grand city, surrounded by the rich culture of museums, cafes, libraries, and bookstores, he evolved as a person rather than despairing of his situation.

MORE COMMENTARY STEMS  By__ (observation of behavior), __ (result that applies to position)__ By reflecting on herself, away from constant opinions, she discovers that she as an individual is better than being something that everyone else is.  The fact that__(observation based on D), proves/reveals___(your position) The fact that being forced to be alone is a punishment at all proves that being alone is damaging, especially when done for too long without friends.

COMMENTARY WORD GLUE  One of the most important things STAAR graders will be looking for is a reference to your thesis in your commentary. YOU MUST USE WORD GLUE. Thesis: It seems clear that a small town allows people unique opportunities; however, a large city allows people to live the best life possible. B.P. 1 Commentary: Because he lived in a grand city, surrounded by the rich culture of museums, cafes, libraries, and bookstores, he evolved as a person rather than despairing of his situation.

TRANSITION  Your transition should build a bridge between your body paragraphs.  Make an explicit connection between the reason for the thesis argument given in B.P.1 and the reason you’re about to give in B.P.2 Along with cultural development, a city can also allow one to continue education.

FINAL CONCESSION  Your final concession in your conclusion should get more specific than the concession in your thesis - My first concession in my thesis: It seems clear that a small town allows people unique opportunities; however, a large city allows people to live the best life possible. - My final concession at the end of my essay: Granted, a small town affords one the comfort of a close-knit community…

REBUTTAL  Your rebuttal should be a counterargument to that concession, not just a general statement. Incorrect example: Granted, a small town affords one the comfort of a close-knit community, but we must remember a large city is most beneficial. Stronger example: Granted, a small town affords one the comfort of a close-knit community, but we must remember comfort doesn’t allow the kind of development that can occur in the diverse ocean of a city.

PATHOS AND ETHOS APPEAL  I am seeing far too much informal language and too many weak word choices (stuff, cool, nice, good, bad, a lot, now-a-days, etc)  Formal language is part of what establishes your ethos. Connotative word choices and literary devices establishes pathos.  So: stuff=moments/objects/etc. cool=breathtaking/moving/astounding/etc. bad=cancerous, horrific, etc.

OTHER  Themself and themselfs are not words---I saw this multiple times  Themselves is the intended word  So, with the noun people, use the pronouns they, them, and themselves

OTHER  DO NOT USE “YOU” IN YOUR ESSAY—this is not a letter to a single person. It makes no sense to address your audience as “you”  Options: -“people” with “they”: People need to be with others in order to develop. If not, they often become too withdrawn, which is a detriment to them. -“we” with “us”: We need to be with others in order to develop. If not, we often become too withdrawn, which is a detriment to us. -“one” or “person” with “his” or “her” (pick one): One needs to be with others in order to develop. If not, she often becomes too withdrawn which is a detriment to her.

IF YOU USED “YOU” IN YOUR ESSAY  As part of your mechanics reflection, you will rewrite every sentence containing “you” and will replace it with one of the options on the previous slide. Choose only one option and stay consistent throughout the essay.