FRIENDSHIP Developing Close Relationships

A friend… Often knows how you feel about certain things without being told. Is someone who shares many of your viewpoints, especially on subjects you consider important. Is someone who never talks about you behind your back.

Is someone you can share your most important secrets with and not worry that anyone else will be told.

Friends… 1. connect you to what is happening around you 2. allow you to share your thoughts, your hopes, and your dreams

Important Qualities of a Friend… Loyalty Trust Affection Supportiveness

Friends can be important to… Provide emotional support Help you believe that are a worthwhile person Help you to expand your knowledge, ideas, and perspectives Help you meet your needs and reach your personal goals Share your hopes, concerns, and ambitions

Friendships… Are based on people talking to each other and sharing thoughts, feelings, and ideas Requires communication, and this is the channel that connects you to others Will understand the need to change and grow without fearing the friend will no longer be your friend (the sign of true friendship is to allow someone to grow) You will be able to trust each other’s independence

Close friendships with a person of the opposite sex… Is not uncommon during the teen years Can be a testing ground for the honesty, truth, respect, and communication that is critical to any lasting male- female relationship May remain as a very special relationship for your entire life May also grow into a more serious emotional relationship later on because the basis for mutual understanding has been established

Reasons for dating: Gender identity Weaning from family Social competence Communication skills Assessing ego needs Clarification of life philosophy

Coping with sexual feelings Relating to other sex Developing meaningful relationships Self-understanding Others?

Dating Patterns

Functions of Dating… As people date, they not only have fun, they learn more about themselves Through give-and-take of dating relationships, they also learn how to get along with others Interpersonal skills are improved as communication skills develop Encourages good peer relationships and helps you learn to evaluate personalities

Helps you become better able to discover those personality traits that appeal to you and those that do not Helps make you aware of the demands and restrictions involved in getting along with members of the opposite sex which are likely to be more successful marriage partners Helps you discover yourself and to learn about other people in a variety of settings

Informal Group Dating… “Just being with people” rather than having structured dates More emphasis is put on groups of people than on couples May also be referred to as ‘hanging out’ Group activities are often planned jointly by males and females, although girls are more likely to initiate plans (or may just meet at popular spot with no actual plans)

These may enjoy doing things in groups that they might not do alone This may prepare teens for one-to-one relationships Persons may pair off with different people for different events, without the pressure of dating These experiences allow you to form your own ideas about people and about life

You can share thoughts and feelings while relating to a person as a friend rather than as a prospective mate Having a variety of experiences with different people will prepare you for making decisions later in life

Formal Pair Dating 1. You may discover one person you especially like and begin to “see each other” (no long-term commitment) 2. May begin with one date and may end with just one date (called casual dating) 3. You may decide not to date anyone else for a period of time, friends may say “you are going out” or steady dating

4. that becoming a couple  Will allow you to feel that this person really understands you and cares about you  Allows you to be special to someone  Makes you aware that you can have a great time just being together

5. You may notice an increased respect for one another as individuals (dating is a meeting of equals) 6. Couples can share decision making, express feelings honestly, and develop good communication patterns 7. As young people are marring at a later age, this gives time to develop more friendships, then when ready can move from friendship to a caring and committed relationship (ready to offer closeness, loyalty, understanding, open communication, and a special sense of intimacy)

Developing Relationships Carl Sandburg describes this process when he said “People are like onions. You uncover them a layer at a time, and sometimes you cry.”

As boy meets girl and are attracted to one another,  They share interests  Their personal priorities and goals seem to be similar  Their relationship deepens which all appears to be a magic formula But developing a lasting relationship between two people is not that easy.