1. Choosing to marry Chapter 8

2. The ability to give and receive love  The ability to give and receive love is vital  Willing to commit yourself to help meet your partner’s needs  Willing to let your partner meet your needs

3. The ability to Express Empathy  Sensitive to each other’s thoughts and feelings  Share their inner thoughts and feeling openly  See a situation from the other’s point of view

4. Emotional Stability  Without emotional stability makes good communication difficult  You are able to control your responses to emotions

5. Flexibility  Flexibility means being willing to change

6. Decision – Making Skills  Being able to think through decisions  Decisions made together

7. Evaluating A Relationship 8:2

8. Age at Marriage  The link between age and marital success is related to emotional, mental, and social maturity

9. What do you have in Common?  Homogamy – principle which suggest that people who have many similarities, or much in common, are more likely to have a satisfying marriage  You will be attracted to someone who has much in common with you

10. Similar Interests  Common interest can help a relationship grow.

11. Similar Goals and Values  Common interests can help a relationship grow.

12. Similar Goals and Values  People are often attracted to those who have similar life goal  Helps reduce future conflict  You do not have to think alike on every issue  Expectation and goals need to be shared in certain areas  Children and parenting  Family  Education  Work expectations  Religious beliefs

13. Similar Backgrounds  People are often attracted to others with similar background  Can make it easier to establish good relationships with easier to establish good relationships with each other’s families

14. Complementary Qualities  Complementary qualities – differences between people that attract one person to another and benefits the relationship  The strengths of one person make up for the weaknesses of the other

15. Racial Differences  Interracial marriage may face additional challenges  What support from the family  Different views on family customs and children

16. Differences in Religious Views  A person’s faith can strongly influence his or her beliefs and practices

17. How Well Do you Communicate?  Sharing their personal thoughts, feelings, and inner desires  Both need to feel their views are accepted and valued by the other  Quality communication in a marriage relationship is based on trust  Good communication skills can help a couple clear up misunderstandings, make joint decisions, and solve problems in a marriage.

18. How Well Do You Make Decisions Together?  You and your partner should improve your skills for making important decisions together 1.Identify an issue and talk about carious alternatives 2.Choose one alternative that satisfies both 3.Develop a plan to carry it out 4.Evaluate your decision together  This process can help both partners feel they have contributed to making the decision

19. How Do you Solve Problems Together?  Problem-solving steps are much like those used for decision making  Greater self-control is needed in communication  May need to let emotions cool down  Use I-statements  Disagreements are normal in a relationship

20. What Do Your Families and Friends Think?  Your chances fro a successful marriage are increased when family and friends approve of your marriage  With the express of love to the partner, his/her self-esteem and confidence will increase  Family support can help a couple through the adjustments of the early years of marriage  Approval of friends can also increase satisfaction  With disapproval the couple faces more challenges and will need greater flexibly

21. What is Your Reason for Wanting to Marry?  Negative Reasons  Infatuation  May overlook personal differences  Avoid loneliness  To achieve adult status  Escape from problems  Pregnancy  Positive Reason  Mature love  Intimacy  Companionship  Desire to grow together through out life  Committed to keep the relationship growing

22. Preparing for a Long-Lasting Marriage Relationship 8:3

23. Engagement  The engagement is the final stage in the dating process leading to marriage  Provides a time for a couple to discuss important issues and expectations

24. Role Expectations  Roles describe particular patterns for daily living  Your spouse’s role expectation will strongly be build on his/her family experiences  Living up to a role expectation is easier if a couple know what is expected

25. Dividing Role  Complementary Roles – each person takes on a role that supplies what the other person lacks  Role sharing – work together to carry out the task  This allows each other to stay in contact with the other’s thoughts and feelings

26. Planning Finances  Develop a spending an saving plan  Who will actually pay the bills and make certain purchase

27. Planning fro Housing Needs  Couple’s choice of housing will depend on the money they have to spend

28. Planning for Career Goals  Each person’s career will affect family living  Work demands  Schedules  Incomes

29. Planning for Sexual Fulfillment  Sexual satisfaction in a relationship goes hand-in-hand with love, caring, mutual respect, trust, and commitment to each other

30. Planning for Children  Discussion about children should take place before marriage

31. Planning Your Relationships with Families and Friends  Couples need to discuss their personal friendships and joint friendships

32. Premarital Counseling  Discuss topics  Personal readiness for marriage  Expectations for each other  Skills for communication  Making decisions and problem solving  Money management  Most recommend an engagement period of sex months to two years

33. Breaking an Engagement  Time to prepare for marriage  Are you ready???  Broken engagement  Need to grow personally  Poor communication patterns  Inability to make decisions together

34. Marriage  Legal contact involving the couple and the state  The state sets the minimum starads for the contact

35. Marriage Laws  All states have certain requirements concerning the marriage contract  Both parties must enter the marriage contact willingly, or by mutual consent  Most marriage laws specify certain physical requirements, minimum ages, licensing necessities and legal officiates

36. The Wedding Ceremony  Ceremony serves two purposes  Meets a requirement that a couple be legally joined together by a license official  Symbolizes the couple’s commitment to their relationship  Ceremonial Wedding – preformed religious official  Civil Ceremony – preformed by judicial or public official  Vows the statements that specifically express the couple’s commitment to each other

37. The Honeymoon  Time to relax after the weeding and adjust to their new life