Influencing and negotiating skills

Housekeeping › mobile phones › break times › toilets › emergencies © smallprint 2

Workshop overview At this workshop the following will be addressed: › the characteristics of people who can effectively influence others › techniques for successful negotiation › building relationships that enable cooperation and successful negotiation outcomes © smallprint 3

Workshop expectations What do you know about the topic? What do you need to know? What outcomes do you expect from this workshop? © smallprint 4

Influence: the capacity or power of persons or things to be a compelling force on or produce effects on the actions, behaviour, opinions, etc., of others. © smallprint 5

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Topic 1 © smallprint 7 Understanding influence.

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Power, influence and negotiation are interrelated. © smallprint 9

Influential people are: › confident › trustworthy › positive › focused › goal oriented › action oriented © smallprint 10

7 behavioural styles: › assertive › autocratic › democratic › emotional › logical › negotiating › persuasive © smallprint 11

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Topic 2 Perspectives © smallprint 13

Sphere of influence © smallprint 14

Circle of concern and influence © smallprint 15 Things I truly cannot control Things I think I cannot control Circle of influence Things I can control Things about which I care Circle of concern

Listening © smallprint 16 A good listener hears what is said AND hears what is meant.

© smallprint 17 Take the time to understand what others say.

Perspectives © smallprint 18 Other person’s Your own Objective observer’s

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Topic 3 © smallprint 20 Influencing behaviours

Listening © smallprint 21 ‘We have two ears and one tongue in order that we may hear more and speak less.’ (Diogenes)

Rapport © smallprint 22 ‘Always get to know the other party. Never negotiate with a stranger.’ (Somers White)

Acuity © smallprint 23 uptime – attention focus totally external downtime – attention focus totally internal

Calibration © smallprint 24

Framing © smallprint 25

Emotional framing Harness positive messages. Eliminate the negative. © smallprint 26

End framing ‘The two words 'information' and 'communication' are often used interchangeably, but they signify quite different things. Information is giving out; communication is getting through.’ (Sydney J. Harris) © smallprint 27

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Topic 4 © smallprint 29 Advanced communications

Passive people: © smallprint 30 › do not express their views, feelings and beliefs › make it easy for others to disregard their views › put themselves down to accommodate others › avoid confrontation at all costs › place themselves only in easy situations › let others make decisions › expect others to know what they want or mean

Aggressive people: © smallprint 31 › set out to win at the expense of other people › put others down or override their wishes, feelings or views › believe their needs are more important › express themselves in unsuitable, inappropriate ways › are verbally or physically abusive › frequently use authoritarian words such as should or must

Passive-aggressive people: © smallprint 32 › respond indirectly and control others by manipulation › make others feel guilty, awkward or inadequate, to get what they want › use insincere flattery, sarcasm, barbed humour or telling body language › appear to think highly of others but disapprove underneath › use silence as an intimidation strategy

Assertiveness: © smallprint 33 communicating needs, wants or opinions in a clear, direct, honest manner AND maintaining respect and sensitivity to the needs of the other party

The 3 step response © smallprint 34 1.Declare your understanding of the other party’s need. 2.Express your feelings and respond to the request. 3.Suggest an alternative course of action.

Conflict ‘…Celebrate diversity, practice acceptance and may we all choose peaceful options to conflict.’ (Donzella Mitchell Malone) © smallprint 35

Negotiating ‘Negotiations between conflicting parties is like crossing a river by walking on slippery rocks...it's risky, but it's the only way to get across.’ (Hubert Humphrey) © smallprint 36

Strategies: › stay calm › be positive › address issues not personalities › validate the other's point of view › be sure of your facts › avoid exaggeration › state your needs › strive for a resolution in which everyone gains something © smallprint 37

Dealing with aggression Respond assertively. Refuse to participate unless the other party modifies their behaviour. © smallprint 38

Fight or flight instinct © smallprint 39 Thicken your skin, make a joke, be assertive.

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Topic 5 Negotiating © smallprint 41

Goals Establish your goals. Know what you are prepared to lose and how you can compromise. © smallprint 42

Tips ‘Negotiation in the classic diplomatic sense assumes parties more anxious to agree than to disagree.’ (P Dean Acheson) © smallprint 43

Work together © smallprint 44

To deal or not to deal? © smallprint 45

© smallprint 46 ‘Influence may be the highest level of human Skills.’ (Thomas Kempis)

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Summary leaving today please share: › 1 thing you learned › 1 new practice you will undertake at work › 1 activity you enjoyed Thankyou for your attendance and participation. © smallprint 48