1. Being Heard Self-advocacy for carers

2. Learning Outcomes To help increase self awareness To increase understanding of ‘the system’ To help ask for things more effectively To help in negotiating with ‘the system’ To provide opportunities to practice self-advocacy Self Advocacy for Carers – Amy Anderson amy.anderson@carerscotland.org.

3. What is self-advocacy? It’s about getting your voice heard Self Advocacy for Carers – Amy Anderson amy.anderson@carerscotland.org..

4. Self-Advocacy Project A small advocacy service in South West Glasgow Development of ‘Self Advocacy Toolkit’ Role out of Toolkit to carers and carers organisations Self Advocacy for Carers – Amy Anderson amy.anderson@carerscotland.org..

5. Welcomes and Working Together Self Advocacy for Carers – Amy Anderson amy.anderson@carerscotland.org..

6. Today’s Programme Self Advocacy for Carers – Amy Anderson amy.anderson@carerscotland.org..

7. CARERS AND THE SYSTEM Self Advocacy for Carers – Amy Anderson amy.anderson@carerscotland.org..

8. You and ‘the system’ Self Advocacy for Carers – Amy Anderson amy.anderson@carerscotland.org.

9. The Balance of power is in the System’s favour Self Advocacy for Carers – Amy Anderson amy.anderson@carerscotland.org.

10. Why you need ‘the system’: Services Aids and adaptations Knowledge and information Gate keepers to specialist services image Self Advocacy for Carers – Amy Anderson amy.anderson@carerscotland.org..

11. Why ‘the system’ needs you: You’re a professional An expert Your skills and knowledge You are free! No pension, union, Work around the clock Self Advocacy for Carers – Amy Anderson amy.anderson@carerscotland.org..

12. ‘Power’ and the system How can you make the most of a system you can’t control? Self -awareness Assertiveness Negotiation skills Self Advocacy for Carers – Amy Anderson amy.anderson@carerscotland.org..

13. CARERS RIGHTS Self Advocacy for Carers – Amy Anderson amy.anderson@carerscotland.org..

14. Carers Rights To ask for a ‘carers support plan’ To have a life outside of caring To choose what you are willing and not willing to do in your caring role To make decisions on behalf of someone who can no longer make decisions for themselves Self Advocacy for Carers – Amy Anderson amy.anderson@carerscotland.org..

15. Carers Rights Be protected from disability discrimination ‘by association’ Ask for an Assessment of need for a child with additional support needs Raise concerns about a vulnerable adult. Potentially claim welfare benefits Self Advocacy for Carers – Amy Anderson amy.anderson@carerscotland.org..

16. Carers Rights Become a ‘named person’ for someone who is mentally unwell Ask for flexible working arrangements Self Advocacy for Carers – Amy Anderson amy.anderson@carerscotland.org..

17. Carers also have a right to: Be treated fairly Be given information in layman's terms Be given clear answers to you questions Have time to voice your concerns Feel your opinions are valued To have your needs considered To be protected against discrimination Presentation title, date, etc.

18. Carers’ rights Presentation title, date, etc.

19. ASSERTIVENESS Presentation title, date, etc.

20. What you understand by the term ‘Assertive ’ ? Presentation title, date, etc.

21. Assertiveness Recognising our needs and asking openly and directly for what we want Recognising and respecting the rights and needs of other people Relating to people in personal and working situations in an open and honest way Feeling responsible for and in control of our own actions Not seeing situations in terms of win or lose, but being prepared to compromise Being able to resolve difficulties and disputes in a way that feels comfortable and just to those involved Self Advocacy for Carers – Amy Anderson amy.anderson@carerscotland.org.

22. Aggressiveness Expressing feelings and opinions in a way that punishes, threatens or puts the other person down Disregarding the rights and needs of others. Aiming to get our own way no matter what If we ‘win’ and get what we want aggressively it probably leaves someone else with bad feelings, making it difficult to relate to them in future Self Advocacy for Carers – Amy Anderson amy.anderson@carerscotland.org..

23. … Self Advocacy for Carers – Amy Anderson amy.anderson@carerscotland.org.. Passiveness Not standing up for our rights. Allowing others to take advantage of us Avoiding responsibility for making choices – leaving others to make decisions for us Not being in control of our lives. Seeing ourselves as helpless victims of unfairness and injustice

24. … Self Advocacy for Carers – Amy Anderson amy.anderson@carerscotland.org.. Manipulative behaviour Unable to ask directly for what we want Trying to get what we want indirectly, by playing games or trying to make people feel guilty

25. … Self Advocacy for Carers – Amy Anderson amy.anderson@carerscotland.org.. Your experiences…

26. Scenarios Self Advocacy for Carers – Amy Anderson amy.anderson@carerscotland.org.

27. Lunch Self Advocacy for Carers – Amy Anderson amy.anderson@carerscotland.org.

28. NEGOTIATING Self Advocacy for Carers – Amy Anderson amy.anderson@carerscotland.org.

29. Negotiating Important in getting your voice heard Can be learned by anyone All parties need to gain something of value in exchange for any concessions they make, so be prepared to compromise Build up your confidence Self Advocacy for Carers – Amy Anderson amy.anderson@carerscotland.org.

30. Negotiating Preparation is key. Write down: What you must achieve? What you would like to achieve? What could you reasonably manage without? What would success look/feel/be like? Self Advocacy for Carers – Amy Anderson amy.anderson@carerscotland.org.

31. Negotiating At the time Speak to the right person Be clear Be objective Be positive Ask for enough time Know when to stop Self Advocacy for Carers – Amy Anderson amy.anderson@carerscotland.org.

32. Negotiating At the time Listen to the response Keep calm Look for areas of agreement Compromise if there are benefits Self Advocacy for Carers – Amy Anderson amy.anderson@carerscotland.org.

33. Negotiating What is your strategy going to be? Your language Your approach and behaviour Your body language Self Advocacy for Carers – Amy Anderson amy.anderson@carerscotland.org.

34. Putting it into practice Self Advocacy for Carers – Amy Anderson amy.anderson@carerscotland.org.

35. YOUR LANGUAGE Self Advocacy for Carers – Amy Anderson amy.anderson@carerscotland.org.

36. Words, voice and language Key to getting your voice heard Convey facts, feelings and beliefs Mood, state of mind Self Advocacy for Carers – Amy Anderson amy.anderson@carerscotland.org.

37. Disconnecting language Making judgements “this is cruel”, “this is dreadful” “he is heartless” Using extreme/polarising language “this is awful” “useless” “wrong” “rubbish” Self Advocacy for Carers – Amy Anderson amy.anderson@carerscotland.org.

38. Disconnecting language – what happens to the listener? Defensive May go on the offensive Descends into a row Becomes personal and hurtful Takes away goodwill and energy No-one wins Can harm the relationship Self Advocacy for Carers – Amy Anderson amy.anderson@carerscotland.org.

39. How can we re-connect? By being objective Being specific Explaining the situation fully Even vocal tone Eye contact Self Advocacy for Carers – Amy Anderson amy.anderson@carerscotland.org.

40. Reconnecting Self Advocacy for Carers – Amy Anderson amy.anderson@carerscotland.org.

41. SELF-AWARENESS Self Advocacy for Carers – Amy Anderson amy.anderson@carerscotland.org.

42. GOLDEN RULES FOR BEING HEARD Self Advocacy for Carers – Amy Anderson amy.anderson@carerscotland.org..

43. State your case clearly Be objective Be positive Be open Be assertive Self Advocacy for Carers – Amy Anderson amy.anderson@carerscotland.org..

44. Feedback, thank and close Self Advocacy for Carers – Amy Anderson amy.anderson@carerscotland.org.