BEST LIFE

Guys vs. Girls  How do guys and girls sometimes view sex differently?  What would you like girls to better understand about guys?  What would you like guys to better understand about girls?

Guys and Girls can view sex differently 1. Having sex does not necessarily mean there is a personal relationship. GuysGuys 2. Expect sex to occur sooner when in any type of a relationship GuysGuys 3. Report more love and commitment toward sexual partners. GirlsGirls 4. More likely to have had first sex in a less than serious relationship GuysGuys 5. Reasons given for having first sexual intercourse include: “being turned on”, “curious”, “to impress friends” GuysGuys 6. More likely to feel pressure from their partner to have sex GirlsGirls 7. First sexual experience left them feeling less pleasure and satisfaction. GirlsGirls

3 ways sex is misused to meet emotional needs  If someone needs to be needed or is insecure in a relationship, that person may use sex to gain _________. Acceptance Acceptance  If a guy is unsure of his masculinity, he may use sex to prove he is a ________. Man Man  If a girl is unsure of her attractiveness, she may use sex to prove she is ___________ by the opposite sex. Valued Valued  Misusing sex to meet emotional needs leads to __________. Disappointment Disappointment

Worry  If someone is sexually active, what unique things would they worry about? Fear of pregnancy, getting an STD, parents finding out Fear of pregnancy, getting an STD, parents finding out  What are some of the side effects of worrying a lot? Loss of sleep; poor grades; possible long term health problems Loss of sleep; poor grades; possible long term health problems

Regret and Guilt  What would cause a sexually active teen to experience feeling of regret and guilt? Feeling of loss when relationship ends; feeling used; guilt about going against personal valuesFeeling of loss when relationship ends; feeling used; guilt about going against personal values  What might be the consequences of regret and guilt? Medical problems such as ulcers, eating disorders, stress, emotional turmoilMedical problems such as ulcers, eating disorders, stress, emotional turmoil

Impaired Personal Development 3. Have you noticed some people see to mature faster than other? Why might some sexually active teens fail to mature socially? Can use sex to escape pressures or to avoid learning how to communicate in a healthy way with the opposite sexCan use sex to escape pressures or to avoid learning how to communicate in a healthy way with the opposite sex  What is the consequences of impaired personal development? May turn inward; fail to develop a personal, independent identity; experience feelings of betrayal that can lead to rageMay turn inward; fail to develop a personal, independent identity; experience feelings of betrayal that can lead to rage

Fear of Future Relationships  When you have a relationship with someone and it ends, how do you end up feeling the next time you are interested in dating someone?  How might those feelings be different once you’ve had sex with someone? Fear of being used or betrayed; may be afraid of jealousy, controlling behavior or selfishnessFear of being used or betrayed; may be afraid of jealousy, controlling behavior or selfishness  What effects can this fear of future relationships have on a person? Difficulty in trusting; inability to make a commitment to someone; withdrawal from close relationships; pattern or use and abuse in relationshipsDifficulty in trusting; inability to make a commitment to someone; withdrawal from close relationships; pattern or use and abuse in relationships

Lowered Self-esteem  What kind of things make you feel good or bad about yourself? Success in school or other activities; parents and friends’ opinions of you, doing or not doing the right thingSuccess in school or other activities; parents and friends’ opinions of you, doing or not doing the right thing  If someone is sexually active, what other factors influence their self-esteem? Concern about their attractiveness, sexual performance, reputation, opinion of their partnerConcern about their attractiveness, sexual performance, reputation, opinion of their partner  What happens to someone who has low self- esteem? May feel used or damaged, unhappy or lacking dignity; difficulty accepting love from others; may have sex with others to feel in control; may seek attention or turn to destructive behaviorMay feel used or damaged, unhappy or lacking dignity; difficulty accepting love from others; may have sex with others to feel in control; may seek attention or turn to destructive behavior

 What do people get depressed about? Disappointment in self and significant others, feelings of lack of worth and value, anger turned inward, feel out of control in difficult situationsDisappointment in self and significant others, feelings of lack of worth and value, anger turned inward, feel out of control in difficult situations  Why might some sexually active teens feel depressed Disappointment after a breakup; feelings of failure; lower self- esteemDisappointment after a breakup; feelings of failure; lower self- esteem  What consequences can this depression have? Loss of joy in daily activities. May lead to attempted, or successful suicide.Loss of joy in daily activities. May lead to attempted, or successful suicide. Girls who have been sexually active were nearly 3 times more likely to attempt suicide than those who were virginsGirls who have been sexually active were nearly 3 times more likely to attempt suicide than those who were virgins Guys who had been sexually active were 8 times more likely to attempt suicide than virgin guysGuys who had been sexually active were 8 times more likely to attempt suicide than virgin guys Depression

Sex and Self-Respect  What happened to Kendra’s self-respect? How did this affect her life?  How do you think Antonio’s self-respect was affected?  How did having sex affect their relationship?