Gift of Sexuality Chapter 9

Goodness of Sex Sex, in fact, is good God created us with capacity for love and communion Empowered us to create new life Made us as sexual beings with equal dignity and worth

Sexuality more than Sex Act of sex is not all there is to being sexual Involves our emotional and spiritual makeup Sexuality affects all other aspects of us

Sex Attitudes Read questions in the survey on p. 217 and check how you feel about it.

How is decision made? Reasons to wait vs. not wait

Child Level Reasons Feeling good or bad Having fun Looking for excitement Being spontaneous or free Boredom Rebellion Angry Immediate gratification

Pressure Level Reasons Belonging Pleasing others Seeking popularity Avoiding punishment Maintaining or developing reputation Looking good

Adult Level Reasons Rational thinking Rights of others Responsibilities Real love Long range goals Awareness of risks and consequences Religious convictions Promises and commitments Personal moral values

Statistics: What are teens deciding? Percentages have declined over last decade Fewer than half (47%) of all 9-12th graders report having had sexual intercourse Percentage increases with grade

Statistics: What are teens deciding? 66% of high school students were currently abstinent Of teens who had never had sex: 94% were concerned about pregnancy 92% were concerned about STDs 91% felt they were too young

What do you think? Survey says….

Survey Says…. On a Scale of 1-10, how important is it your S.O. be popular? B: 1.6 A: 3.2

Survey Says…. On a Scale of 1-10, how important is it to you that the person you marry is a virgin? B: 3.1 A: 5.6

Survey Says…. On a Scale of 1-10, how important are looks in a S.O? B: 6.3 A: 5.4

Survey Says…. On a Scale of 1-10, how important is it for your S.O. to have a reputation as a good person? B: 7.1 A: 7.3

Survey Says…. On a Scale of 1-10, how important is it to have similar morals and values to your S.O? B: 7.5 A: 6.3

Survey Says…. On a Scale of 1-10, how important is it your S.O. have a sense of humor? B: 8.4 A: 8.1

Survey Says…. On a Scale of 1-10, how important is it to you that your S.O. is an honest person? B: 9.7 A: 8.2

Survey Says…. Do you think the possibility of getting an STD affects the conduct of your peers? Yes: 92% (B) 52% (A) No: 8% (B) 48% (A)

Survey Says…. Do you think peer pressure is a factor in the conduct of your peers? Yes: 84% (B) 75% (A) No: 16% (B) 24% (A)

Survey Says…. Do you think fear of pregnancy is a factor in the conduct of your peers? Yes: 90% (B) 84%(A) No: 10% (B) 16% (A)

Survey Says…. Does your religious upbringing influence the decisions you make about sex? Definitely: 29% (B) 15% (A) Somewhat: 33% (B) 62% (A) Not really: 35% (B) 23% (A)

Survey Says…. What influences your decisions about sex the most? Faith/Values: 31% B 10% A Family Upbringing: 45% B 31% A Friends: 18% B 12% A Boyfriend/Girlfriend: 18% B 37% A Other: 1% B 10% A

Survey Says…. Do you believe the media impacts your views on sexuality? Yes: 71% (B) 78% (A) No: 29% (B) 22% (A)

Survey Says…. Do you believe there is a double standard for guys vs. girls in society today? Yes: 100% (B) 94% (A) No: 0% (B) 6% (A)

Gender equity? Is there a double standard for guys vs. girls? P.227 Are consequences equal?

Case Study Spur Posse

Catholic Church on Sex God intended sex to be shared between man and woman in union of marriage What is reasoning behind this? Sexual union in marriage has 2 purposes: Sharing of love between spouses Transmission of life - Fecundity: ability to produce offspring

Catholic Church on Birth Control Married couples have duty and right to plan size of families in accord with God’s plan for family planning & for moral and unselfish reasons Moral means of birth regulation (ie: abstinence and natural family planning) must be in harmony with 2 purposes of marriage Artificial contraceptive methods are morally contrary to God’s plan for sexual sharing

Catholic Church on sterility Church supports medical methods to help couples overcome sterility, however, no couple has absolute right to have a child Child is gift from God, not property Artificial procedures intrude on bond of husband and wife

Offenses against marriage Adultery: sexual relations with someone other than spouse Divorce: dissolution of the marriage contract Polygamy: having more than 1 spouse Incest and sexual abuse Free unions: couples do not have relationship sanctified by law

Importance of Virtues Chastity: helps us control sexual desires and use them appropriately Purity: wanting to do the right thing to please God, helps control lust Modesty: Helps us to respect sexuality by guarding intimacy How can they help us make decisions? How do they compare/contrast with images society sends?

Contrary to the virtues are… Masturbation Fornication Pornography Prostitution Rape Homosexuality

Sexual Harassment Any unwanted words, touches or actions Depends on how person perceives signals Could be harassing people without knowing

Examples? Flirting vs. Sexual Harassment

Definition of Sexual Abuse Any act involving unlawful sexual abuse, molestation, fondling or carnal knowledge of a child less than 13 years of age

Child Sexual Abuse Any act involving unlawful sexual contact or penetration against a child 13-17 years of age if act is committed by parent, guardian, relative or person residing in home or responsible for care of child

Statistics 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys will be abused before the age of 15

Rape Defined as unlawful sexual penetration including genital, oral or anal sexual intercourse Involves 1 or more of following: Force or coercion is used Victim didn’t consent or unable to Offender uses fraud Aggravated rape: Offender is armed with a weapon, inflicts bodily harm or there are multiple offenders

Rape of a Child Sexual contact or penetration with a child less than 13 years of age Class A felony: carries a sentence of 15-60 years in prison if convicted

Statutory Rape Sexual penetration when victim is at least 13 but less than 18 and defendant is at least 4 years older than the victim Still rape even if young person consents Class E felony if convicted: 1-6 years in prison

Incest Relative has sexual contact with a child or teen less than 18 years of age Definition includes extended family, adoptive families, half siblings

Impact of Sexual Abuse Tremendous impact that destroys love, trust and friendship Especially offensive when perpetrator is someone who was trusted to guarantee safety

Perpetrators Pedophile: Adult that desires a sexual relationship with children before adolescence Ephebophile: Adult that desires a sexual relationship with a teen only during adolescence Can be male or female, often in authority

Pedophiles Take advantage of trust, innocence and desire to please in children, usually male, only female 15% Prefer 1 parent households and children who are shy, needy, quiet or passive Use touching games like tickling, wrestling etc to confuse child about appropriate touch

Tactics used Grooming: manipulation used to begin relationship with child (gifts, attention, earn child’s trust, befriend family) Lure children to unsafe area with promises Coercion: bribes or trickery Bullying, force, intimidation, cruelty

Ephebophile Takes advantage of times teens feel alone and misunderstood Try to develop relationship by appealing to social and emotional needs More likely to be non family members Usually well liked

Tactics used Sexual material (magazines, movies, etc) Alcohol or mind altering substances Abuse position of power Form relationships online and find ways to be alone without chaperones

Juvenile Sex Offender Teens engaging in sexual behavior harmful to peers Often sexualized bullies disguising abuse as “hazing” Take advantage of peers or children isolated from others or may use romantic interest to push date into uncomfortable behavior (ie: date rape)

Profile of Offenders Every type of neighborhood & ethnic background Usually someone victims knows and trusts Well liked and popular image, but really self centered and narcissistic, no regard for society’s rules Often don’t see what they do as wrong, but as “helping” the teen

Prevention First step is awareness Understand most adults are trustworthy and safe, but use your best judgment if you feel someone is crossing the line Stay with 2 or more adults present Inform parents of where you are/who you are with, ask their permission Communicate if you’re uncomfortable and tell trusted adult immediately

Juvenile Prevention Clearly communicate boundaries of your relationship Tell your friends and family where you are If meeting someone for first time, never go alone and go to public place Never leave alone or go home with someone you have just met

Alcohol and Date Rape Drugs “Roofies”: dime sized white pill impossible to detect if added to a drink, but alcohol is #1 date rape drug! May not remember details or attack/attacker Dangerous and possibly fatal when mixed with alcohol

Tips: Never leave a beverage unattended Never accept a drink that has been opened Keep an eye on friends and have them keep an eye on you Intoxication= Danger

Alcohol and Pregnancy 25% of sexually experienced teens say they used alcohol or drugs last time they had sex In study of unplanned pregnancies, 1/3 of girls 14-21 were drinking when they had sex; 91% reported the sex was unplanned Drinking at a young age increases chance of other risky behaviors (ie: smoking,drugs, sex)