1 Inter-Act, 13 th Edition Inter-Act, 13 th Edition Ch 13:Intimate Relationships

Chapter Objectives: Describe the characteristics of intimate conversations and relationships Discuss the aspects of parental communication, including dimensions, types of attachment, and parenting styles Discuss the aspects of intergenerational family communication Describe communication process between siblings Identify ways to improve family communication Discuss the aspects and characteristics of successful friendships and long-term relationships 2

Intimacy A pattern of self-disclosure and supportive messages between partners May have many friends, but only a handful of intimate relationships  Intimacy resides in the “inter-action” between partners. 3

Intimate Conversations Emotionaldisclosures Emotional disclosures : reveal sensitive, private, and personally risky information, signaling a desire for intimacy Mutual understanding Mutual understanding : comprehending your own and your partner’s point of view Warm feelings Warm feelings : positive feelings you have about yourself and your partner during and immediately after an interaction Verbal and nonverbal Verbal and nonverbal messages signal closeness. 4

Intimate Relationship 5 Relationship in which partners share regular intimate interactions, feel affection for each other, trust each other, and are cohesive Trust Mutual AffectionCohesiveness

Family 6 A network of people who share their lives over long periods of time bound by ties of marriage, blood, or commitment, legal or otherwise, who consider themselves a family, and who share a significant history and anticipated future of functioning in a family relationship (Galvin, Bylund, & Brommel, 2003)

Common Family Structures 7 Traditional 2 opposite- sex parents Married Children Single-Parent 1 parent lives with children 1 parent not present, may or may not be actively parenting Shared- Custody Divorced parents Children switch residences Blended 2 adults 1 or more children from previous relationships Common- Law 2 opposite- sex parents Unmarried Children Gay and Lesbian 2 same-sex partners Children Extended Multiple generations of related people living together Communal Cooperative living arrangement among unmarried people

Parent–Child Communication Nurturing parental communication: parental messages that encourage a child’s physical, social, emotional, and intellectual development Controlling parental communication: parental messages that attempt to influence or regulate a child’s behavior Good parenting requires a balance of nurturing and controlling messages. 8

Infant Attachment Styles 9 Secure Worthy of care Others are trusted to provide care Anxious-Ambivalent Not worthy of care Others cannot be trusted to provide care Avoidant Worthy of care Others not trusted to provide care

Adult Attachment Styles 10 Secure High self- worth Trusts others Preoccupied High self-worth Low trust in others Fearful Low self- worth High trust in others Dismissive Low self- worth Low trust in others

Providing Discipline Permissiveparenting style Permissive parenting style: moderate to high levels of nurturing but little control over children’s behavior Authoritarian parenting style Authoritarian parenting style: high levels of control with low levels of nurturing Authoritative parenting style: Authoritative parenting style: firm control balanced with ample nurturing 11

Improving Family Communication Create opportunities for intimate communication. Respect individual interests and accomplishments. Recognize and adapt to change. 12

Friendships Voluntary, platonic relationships characterized by equality and reciprocity Likely to form between people who have frequent contact and similar demographic traits and engage in the same activities 13

Relationships are based on shared activities. Talk about topics rather than feelings Use covert intimacy to show closeness: ◦ Mild insults ◦ Competition ◦ Put-downs Conversations focus on topics as well as relationships. Intimacy is based on mutual self-disclosure of feelings, secrets, and insights. 14 Male–Male Relationships Female–FemaleRelationships

Intimate Relationships 15 Platonic Relationship Partners are not sexually attracted to each other or choose not to act on their attraction Romantic Relationship Partners do act on their sexual attraction to each other

Types of Long-Term Committed Relationships Traditional – Traditional – share a traditional ideology but maintain some independence, engage in conflict Independent – Independent – share an ideology that embraces change and uncertainty, but are interdependent and engage in conflict Separate – Separate – share traditional ideology, but are independent and avoid conflict 16

Characteristics of Intimate Relationships Mutual respect: treating each other with dignity Presence of a shared plan or life vision: agreeing on long-term goals Comfortable level of closeness: spending a mutually satisfying amount of time with each other 17

Keys to Successful Long-Term Relationships Show your affection. Use symbols and rituals to display your commitment. Talk about sex. 18 Microsoft Photo

The Dark Side of Intimacy Relational uncertainty – feeling of doubt about the nature of the relationship –Unsure if relationship is platonic or romantic –Concern about future –Tension between closeness and separation Possessiveness – desire to control another person to ensure exclusivity –Caused by jealousy –Can occur in platonic and family relationships as well as romantic ones 19

Digital Communication Skills Media multiplexity: using more than one form of social media to communicate in relationships Strong social media ties: friends, romantic partners, and family members Weak social media ties: casual contacts loosely connected to social networks 20

Initiating Relationships Online Social Information Processing (SIP) theory explains how relationships evolve online. ◦ Revealing and seeking personal information reduces uncertainty. ◦ Online relationships require more time to develop. ◦ Digital interaction can be intense and overly intimate (hyperpersonal). 21