Chapter 18: Dating, Commitment, and Marriage Ms. Meade Health 10

Dating Violence Facts http://www.cdc.gov/CDCTV/BreakTheSilence/index.html About one in 11 teens reports being a victim of physical dating violence each year. About one in four teens reports verbal, physical, emotional, or sexual violence each year. About one in five high school girls has been physically or sexually abused by a dating partner.

Did You Know? Relationships that occur in the teen years may affect dating relationships later in life. The lessons teens learn today about respect, healthy vs. unhealthy relationships, and what is right or wrong may carry over into future relationships. Therefore it is important that teens recognize and understand what constitutes a healthy relationship.

Objectives Distinguish between mature love and infatuation Identify stages of a healthy relationship Identify steps to develop a healthy, respectful relationship Understand dating and the health benefits of Abstinence

Healthy Relationships Healthy relationships are built on a foundation of respect. Respect is a choice, and when you give it, you are more likely to get it in return. It is important for teens to learn how to treat others the way they want to be treated. Teens also need to recognize that when respect is absent, their relationships may turn from healthy to unhealthy.

Today’s Project Create a R E S P E C T wordle http://www.wordle.net/ Design a wordle with “respect” being the main focus word, and come up with at least 10 words you associate with the word respect relative to healthy relationships. On the back explain what being respectful in a healthy relationship means to you.

Characteristics of a healthy dating relationship Mutual respect Trust Honesty Compromise Individuality Good Communication Anger control Problem Solving Fighting Fair Understanding Self-confidence Being a role model

What is an Unhealthy Relationship? An imbalance in which one partner tries to exercise control and power over the other through threats, emotional/verbal abuse, or physical or sexual violence Control Dependence Dishonesty Disrespect Hostility Intimidation Sexual/physical violence

Victims of dating violence may experience Bruises, scratches, or other injuries Missed classes, poor grades, or avoidance of school or social events Lying to or withdrawing from friends and/or family Low self-esteem Feelings of loneliness or isolation

Dating violence can also cause longer term problems: Depression Suicide attempts Drug and alcohol abuse Risky sexual behavior Medical problems Inability to succeed in school or at work later in life

RESPECT How do you show respect in a relationship? Ask (talk about it) Listen (share feelings) Don’t judge (open communication) Signs of Disrespect: Bossing around Gossiping Making threats Insults Manipulation

Love vs. Infatuation Love: affection, attachment, devotion Infatuation: state of being completely carried away by unreasoning passion or attraction. Infatuation is natural but usually fades, however, it can develop into mature love

Mature Love and Intimacy Mature Love: strong affection for and deep attachment to a person whose character the partner knows well Intimacy: being very close and familiar; relationship involves very private and personal sharing; emotional connection. This intimacy is not the same as physical sexual intimacy.

What makes a Healthy Relationship? Each side of the relationship must have a positive self-image in order for it to develop into a healthy relationship. Characteristics of a Healthy Relationship: Mutual respect Trust Honesty Support Fairness/equality Separate identities Good communication

Healthy Relationships Develop in Stages They cannot be rushed; you must be patient to let them grow. We are tempted to hurry it, but early on it is important to develop each stage to have a strong foundation for the healthy relationship to grow. Stage 1: Attraction Stage 2: Friendship Stage 3: Close Friendship Stage 4: Intimate Friendship Stage 5: Mature Love

Compatibilities Not only is the physical and emotional attraction important, but it important to look for other compatibilities, such as: Sharing similar values Does he have several close friends? If relationship ends, would you still want to be friends? Are you happy with the way he treats other people? Handout 11

DATING Engaging in social event designed to allow people to explore their compatibilities to get to know each other; also dating can be fun, stress free, social event Dating Code of Conduct Commitment Sexual feelings teens experience are natural because of the hormones you have at this age; you can’t control that, but you can control how you respond to them.

Abstinence To choose abstinence from sexual activity, you are taking responsibility for your well-being because you are avoiding Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs) and Teen Pregnancy. Despite many external pressures, abstinence allows the teen relationship to grow and develop into healthy intimate relationships without these interruptions, which in turn reduce worry and create a feeling of freedom.

Marriage The institution that joins 2 people by agreement for the purposes of creating and maintaining a family The highest form of commitment in our society Requires good communication, emotional maturity and sharing a life with someone who has similar values and interests. Sharing 4 important types of intimacy: philosophical, psychological, creative and physical.

Dating Code of Conduct What to consider: (respect and honesty) The appropriate age to begin dating Do you have to give parents background info? Tell parents exact plans? Transportation? Who pays? How much? Curfew? Can you be home alone with date? What are the physical boundaries?