Socioemotional Development in Early Adulthood Chapter 12 Socioemotional Development in Early Adulthood

Stability and Change from Childhood to Adulthood For adults, socioemotional development revolves around adaptively integrating our emotional experiences into enjoyable relationships with others on a daily basis The first 20 years of life are not meaningless in predicting an adult’s socioemotional life Attachment plays an important part in socioemotional development

Stability and Change from Childhood to Adulthood Adult’s attachment is categorized as secure, avoidant, or anxious: Secure attachment style Adults have positive views of relationships Avoidant attachment style Adults are hesitant to get involved in romantic relationships Anxious attachment style Adults demand closeness, are less trusting, and more emotional, jealous, and possessive

Love and Close Relationships Love -- vast and complex territory of human behavior, spanning a range of relationships that includes friendship, romantic love, affectionate love, and consummate love intimacy -- self-disclosure and the sharing of private thoughts  

Erikson’s Stage: Intimacy Versus Isolation After individuals are well on their way to establishing stable and successful identities, they enter the sixth developmental stage, which is intimacy versus isolation Finding oneself by losing oneself in another person If a person fails to develop an intimate relationship in early adulthood, according to Erikson, isolation results Gateways to attraction Exclusion criteria

Intimacy and Independence Development in early adulthood often involves balancing intimacy and commitment with independence and freedom Intimacy and commitment, and independence and freedom are important themes of development that are worked and reworked throughout the adult years

Friendship   Friendship plays an important role in development throughout the human life span Women have more close friends and their friendships involve more self-disclosure and exchange of mutual support Talk is central to their relationships Women share many aspects of their experiences, thoughts, and feelings

Romantic Love Some friendships evolve into romantic love Also called passionate love, or eros Romantic love has strong components of sexuality and infatuation Often predominates in the early part of a love relationship Sexual desire is the most important ingredient of romantic love

Affectionate Love also called companionate love Affectionate love -- type of love that occurs when someone desires to have the other person near and has a deep, caring affection for the person also called companionate love As love matures, passion tends to give way to affection

Consummate Love and Sternberg’s Triarchic Theory Sternberg proposed a triarchic theory of love in which love can be thought of as a triangle with three main dimensions—passion, intimacy, and commitment Passion is physical and sexual attraction to another Intimacy relates to the emotional feelings of warmth, closeness, and sharing in a relationship Commitment is the cognitive appraisal of the relationship and the intent to maintain the relationship

Components of love Triangular model of love – Sternberg (1988) Liking – Intimacy only Companionate love – Intimacy + Commitment Empty love – Commitment only Fatuous love – Commitment + Passion Infatuation – Passion only Romantic love – Passion + Intimacy Consummate love – Passion + Intimacy + Commitment

Adult Lifestyles: Single Adults More adults are remaining single longer today In the last 30 years, there has been a dramatic rise in the percentage of single adults Advantages Freedom to make decisions about one’s life course, pursue one’s own schedule, privacy Common problems Loneliness Forming intimate relationships with other adults Finding a niche in a society that is marriage-oriented

Cohabitation Cohabitation -- living together in a sexual relationship without being married cohabitation has changed many couples view their cohabitation as an ongoing lifestyle Disadvantages Disapproval by parents Difficulty owning property jointly Legal rights on the dissolution of the relationship are less certain Elevated risk of partner violence

Intimacy Domestic violence Change process – Prochaska & DeClemente Common couple violence Intimate terrorism Change process – Prochaska & DeClemente Precontemplation Contemplation Preparation Action Maintenance Relapse

Marriage Traditional marriage Egalitarian marriage Social exchange theory

Married Adults Changing norm of male-female equality means marital relationships are more fragile and intense More than 90 percent of U.S. women still marry at some point in their lives; projections indicate that in the future this rate will drop into 80–90 percent range Marriages in adolescence are more likely to end in divorce than marriages in adulthood Average duration of a marriage in the United States is currently just over nine years

The Benefits of a Good Marriage Individuals who are happily married live longer, healthier lives than either divorced individuals or those who are unhappily married People in unhappy marriages may experience numerous physical ailments, such as high blood pressure and heart disease, as well as psychological problems such as anxiety, depression, and substance abuse

Discussion Why do people divorce? How are children affected by divorce? Remarriage? What do you think about nonbiological parenting? Is it riskier than biological parenting?

Divorced Adults Increases in divorce are correlated with youthful marriage, low educational level, low income, not having a religious affiliation, divorced parents, having a baby before marriage These characteristics also increase the likelihood of divorce: Alcoholism, psychological problems, domestic violence, infidelity, and inadequate division of household labor

Strategies for Divorced Adults Hetherington recommends these: Think of divorce as a chance to grow personally and to develop more positive relationships Make decisions carefully Focus more on the future than the past Use your strengths and resources to cope with difficulties Don’t expect to be successful and happy in everything you do

Remarried Adults Divorced adults remarry within three years after their divorce Men remarry sooner than women Men with higher incomes are more likely to remarry Remarriage occurs sooner for partners who initiate a divorce Adults who get remarried have a lower level of mental health (depression) Financial status improves after remarrying More shared decision making

Gay and Lesbian Adults The legal and social context of marriage creates barriers to breaking up that do not exist for same-sex partners But in other ways, researchers have found that gay and lesbian relationships are similar to heterosexual relationships in their satisfactions, loves, joys, and conflict Contrary to stereotypes, one partner is masculine and the other feminine in only a small percentage of gay male and lesbian couples Only a small segment has a large number of sexual partners Prefer a long-term, committed relationship

Social and Emotional Development Marriage Marital Satisfaction What do women want from their husbands? What do husbands want from their wives? Marriage and emotional exchange: Gottman (1994) – predict divorce and time frame with 94% accuracy Lab interactions – how handled disagreements: labeling action vs. person Women want to talk about emotions, men not as much Divorce: label person as dumb, insensitive…. Instead of action Women use contempt or disgust – Men use stonewalling (closing up) Most satisfied with marriage when conversations were 2-way and non-labeling

Making Marriage Work Gottman found a number of main principles determining whether a marriage will work: Establishing love maps Nurturing fondness and admiration Turning toward each other instead of away Letting your partner influence you Creating shared meaning

Gender and Communication Tannen distinguishes two ways of communications: Rapport talk -- language of conversation; a way of establishing connections and negotiating relationships Report talk -- talk that is designed to give information; includes public speaking Women enjoy rapport talk more than report talk; men’s lack of interest in rapport talk bothers many women Men prefer to engage in report talk

Discussion: Having Children Think about your parents’ child rearing with regard to the emphasis they placed on authoritarian, authoritative, permissive or neglectful styles. Do you think you have or will have similar styles? Why or why not? What do you look forward to or what do you enjoy most about having children? What is your biggest fear about your ability to raise children? If you choose to have children, about how old do you want to be (or how old were you) when you have (had) your first child? Why this age and not an older or younger age?