Intimate Relationships and Communication Chapter Four

© 2010 McGraw-Hill Companies. All Rights Reserved. Developing Intimate Relationships Be willing to give of themselves –Share their ideas, feelings, time, and needs Self-Concept and Self-Esteem –Feel good about ourselves Roots of our identity and self –Developed during childhood –Relationships with parents and other family members Gender roles Style of attachment Formulation of friendships 2

© 2010 McGraw-Hill Companies. All Rights Reserved. Friendship Characteristics –Companionship –Respect –Acceptance –Help –Trust –Loyalty –Reciprocity 3

© 2010 McGraw-Hill Companies. All Rights Reserved. Love, Sex, and Intimacy Most basic and profound human emotions. Encompasses opposites: –Affection and anger –Excitement and boredom –Stability and change –Bonds and freedom Love does not give us perfect happiness, but it does give our lives meaning. Positive factors that draw people together 4

© 2010 McGraw-Hill Companies. All Rights Reserved. Relationships Strong relationships comprise: –Trust –Caring –Respect –Loyalty –Interest in the other –Concern of other’s wellbeing 5

© 2010 McGraw-Hill Companies. All Rights Reserved. The Pleasure and Pain of Love Intense love has confused and tormented lovers throughout history Passionate love –Human emotions have two components: 1.Physiological arousal 2.Emotional explanation for the arousal 6

© 2010 McGraw-Hill Companies. All Rights Reserved. The Transformation of Love All relationships change over time. At first, high levels of passion and increased intimacy Reduction of romance and or passion leads to the transformation of deep love. 7

© 2010 McGraw-Hill Companies. All Rights Reserved. Challenges in Relationships Honesty and Openness Unequal or Premature commitment Unrealistic Expectations –Expecting your partner to change –Assuming –Unsupported beliefs Competitiveness –Focus on Fun Balance of Time together and apart Jealousy –Is not an element of love 8

© 2010 McGraw-Hill Companies. All Rights Reserved. Unhealthy Relationships Reasons why? Ending a Relationship –Guidelines of a breakup Fair chance Be fair and honest Be tactful and compassionate If you are the rejected person, make time for resolving your anger and pain Recognize the value of the experience 9

© 2010 McGraw-Hill Companies. All Rights Reserved. Communication Nonverbal –Ability to interpret nonverbal messages Communication skills –Self-disclosure –Listening –Feedback is a constructive response Gender differences in communication –Men Establishing dominance/competitive Men talk more/listen less –Women Establishing friendships Affiliative way Seeking advice Obtaining cues from listening and eye contact 10

© 2010 McGraw-Hill Companies. All Rights Reserved. Conflict and Conflict Resolution Conflict resolution skills are vital for maintaining intimate relationships. 1.Clarify the issue. 2.Find out what each person wants. 3.Brainstorming for options. 4.Decide how to negotiate. 5.Solidify the agreements. 6.Review and renegotiate. 11

© 2010 McGraw-Hill Companies. All Rights Reserved. Pairing and Singlehood Choosing a Partner. –Similarities (to your own) Ethnic and socioeconomic background, educational level, lifestyle, physical attractiveness, and other traits. –First attraction – observable characteristics –Communication. –Acceptance. –Most important question – How much do we have in common? 12

© 2010 McGraw-Hill Companies. All Rights Reserved. Dating Different cultures have different rituals for finding a mate –Centers on a mutually enjoyable activity American Culture –Getting to know each other –Traditional male-female dating pattern –Dating of young people “Today” 13

© 2010 McGraw-Hill Companies. All Rights Reserved. Living Together Cohabitation 30 years old –Half of all men and women have cohabited. Factors of acceptance Rarely continues indefinitely Advantages Liabilities 14

© 2010 McGraw-Hill Companies. All Rights Reserved. Same-Sex Partnerships Gay and Lesbian –Sexual orientation –Homosexual relationships in relation to heterosexual relationships –Traditional gender roles –Societal attitudes Same-sex marriage Civil rights “Homophobia” 15

© 2010 McGraw-Hill Companies. All Rights Reserved. Singlehood Diverse group 110 million single individuals Mean marriage is 27.1 years for men and 25.3 for women. Factors that contribute to a growing number Advantages Disadvantages 16

© 2010 McGraw-Hill Companies. All Rights Reserved. Marriage Benefits of Marriage Issues of marriage –Realistic expectations –Feels good about the personality of their mate –Communication –Conflict resolution –Religious and ethical values –Egalitarian role –Good balance of individual and joint interests Role of Commitment 17

Figure 4-2 Marital status of the U.S. Population age 15 years and older 18

© 2010 McGraw-Hill Companies. All Rights Reserved. Separation and Divorce High rates.. Why? –50-55% chance of divorcing –Process of Divorce. Emotional separation - First step Physical separation –Greatest stress producing event next to the death of a spouse or family member –Recovery from divorce. –Remarriage. 19

Family Life Becoming a Parent Preparation for parenthood –Own stability and readiness to be a parent –Physical health –Teenage parenting –Over the age of 35 –Nutritional habits –Genetics –Financial –Considered educational and career plans –Emotionally ready –Social support –Attitudes and aptitudes 20

© 2010 McGraw-Hill Companies. All Rights Reserved. Parenting Parenting styles –Authoritarian –Authoritative –Permissive (or indulgent) –Uninvolved Children’s temperaments –Easy children –Difficult children –Slow-to-warm-up 21

© 2010 McGraw-Hill Companies. All Rights Reserved. Parenting and the Family Life Cycle Provide a balance of firm limits and clear structure High levels of: –Warmth –Nurturance –Respect –Grow of independence 22

Figure 4.3 The growth of single-parent families in the United State 23

© 2010 McGraw-Hill Companies. All Rights Reserved. Stepfamilies or Blended Families 3 out of 4 women and 4 out of 5 men will remarry. Should not be expected to duplicate the emotions and relationships of an intact family. Healthy stepfamilies are less cohesive and more adaptable than healthy intact families. Allow for more individual differences. More of a history they have the more of a family unit is built. 24

© 2010 McGraw-Hill Companies. All Rights Reserved. Successful Families Commitment Appreciation Communication Time together Spiritual wellness Coping with stress and crisis 25

Chapter 4 Connect Assignment Due Tuesday, February 2 nd 26 © 2010 McGraw-Hill Companies. All Rights Reserved.

Intimate Relationships and Communication Chapter Four