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Chapter 3 Social Connections
Copyright © 2015 McGraw-Hill Education. All rights reserved. No reproduction or distribution without the prior written consent of McGraw-Hill Education.
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Healthy Personal Relationships
Relationships are at the heart of human experience Family Community Classmates, teammates, colleagues Acquaintances, friends, intimate partners Relationships are fraught with difficulties Divorce Single-parent and blended families Living alone Electronic connections Copyright © 2015 McGraw-Hill Education. All rights reserved. No reproduction or distribution without the prior written consent of McGraw-Hill Education.
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A Healthy Sense of Self Relationships begin with who you are as an individual and what you bring to the relationship Examples of important attributes are: A reasonably high self-esteem A capacity for empathy The ability both to be alone and to be with others Copyright © 2015 McGraw-Hill Education. All rights reserved. No reproduction or distribution without the prior written consent of McGraw-Hill Education.
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Copyright © 2015 McGraw-Hill Education. All rights reserved
Copyright © 2015 McGraw-Hill Education. All rights reserved. No reproduction or distribution without the prior written consent of McGraw-Hill Education.
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Friendships and Other Kinds of Relationships
Friendship is a reciprocal relationship based on mutual liking and caring, respect and trust, interest and companionship Considered longer-lasting and more stable compared to romantic relationships Offers a psychological and emotional buffer against stress, anxiety, and depression Networks that provide social support also increase one’s sense of self-worth Copyright © 2015 McGraw-Hill Education. All rights reserved. No reproduction or distribution without the prior written consent of McGraw-Hill Education.
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Strengths of Successful Partnerships
Intimate relationships have similarities to friendships, but also other qualities More exclusive Deeper levels of connection and caring Sexual component Copyright © 2015 McGraw-Hill Education. All rights reserved. No reproduction or distribution without the prior written consent of McGraw-Hill Education.
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Strengths of Successful Partnerships
Independence and maturity Self-esteem and mutual respect Good communication Open expression of sexual affection and respect Enjoy spending time together in leisure activities Acknowledge strengths and failings Assertive and flexible in wants and needs Handle conflict constructively Friends as well as lovers; unselfish caring Good family and friend relationships Shared spiritual values Copyright © 2015 McGraw-Hill Education. All rights reserved. No reproduction or distribution without the prior written consent of McGraw-Hill Education.
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Attraction People seem to use a systematic screening process when deciding if someone could be a potential partner Factors that promote attraction are: Proximity or familiarity Physical attractiveness Similar characteristics, including values and attitudes Copyright © 2015 McGraw-Hill Education. All rights reserved. No reproduction or distribution without the prior written consent of McGraw-Hill Education.
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The Process of Finding a Partner: Dating and More
Indirectness is not an effective strategy People who are straightforward and respectful in developing a relationship are more likely to get a positive response Partners are often found through social connections The Internet is playing a larger role Enlarges the pool of potential partners Online social networking Importance of caution: How much do you really know about the person? Copyright © 2015 McGraw-Hill Education. All rights reserved. No reproduction or distribution without the prior written consent of McGraw-Hill Education.
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What Is Love? Similarity theory is based on the concept that we fall in love with people who are similar to us in important ways Social exchange theory suggests that falling in love and choosing a partner are based on the exchange of “commodities’” Love, status, property, services Copyright © 2015 McGraw-Hill Education. All rights reserved. No reproduction or distribution without the prior written consent of McGraw-Hill Education.
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The Course of Love Beginning stages of falling in love can feel like a roller coaster “Lovesick” Increased levels of dopamine Arousal of sympathetic nervous system Subsides as lovers become habituated to each other Copyright © 2015 McGraw-Hill Education. All rights reserved. No reproduction or distribution without the prior written consent of McGraw-Hill Education.
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Sternberg’s Love Triangle
Sternberg’s theory: love has three dimensions Intimacy, passion, and commitment Different combinations produce different kinds of love Copyright © 2015 McGraw-Hill Education. All rights reserved. No reproduction or distribution without the prior written consent of McGraw-Hill Education.
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Sternberg’s Love Triangle
Copyright © 2015 McGraw-Hill Education. All rights reserved. No reproduction or distribution without the prior written consent of McGraw-Hill Education.
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Nonverbal Behavior and Metamessages
Nonverbal communication includes facial expressions, eye contact, gestures, body position and movement, and spatial behavior Nonverbal and verbal communication cues make up the metamessage, or the unspoken message you send or get when communicating Copyright © 2015 McGraw-Hill Education. All rights reserved. No reproduction or distribution without the prior written consent of McGraw-Hill Education.
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Building Communication Skills
When you speak, know your feelings, motives, and intentions Use “I” statements “I feel…when you…” vs. “You make me feel…” As a listener, give the other person time and space Good communication skills help make conflict constructive Assertiveness: speaking up for yourself without violating someone else’s rights Gender differences in communication patterns can significantly impact relationships Copyright © 2015 McGraw-Hill Education. All rights reserved. No reproduction or distribution without the prior written consent of McGraw-Hill Education.
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Gender Differences in Communication
Copyright © 2015 McGraw-Hill Education. All rights reserved. No reproduction or distribution without the prior written consent of McGraw-Hill Education.
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Sex and Gender Sex is a person’s biological status as a male or female
Intersex is a condition in which the genitals are ambiguous at birth Gender refers to masculine or feminine behaviors and characteristics considered appropriate in a particular culture Copyright © 2015 McGraw-Hill Education. All rights reserved. No reproduction or distribution without the prior written consent of McGraw-Hill Education.
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Gender Roles and Gender Identities
Gender role is a set of behaviors and activities a person engages in to conform to society’s expectations Androgynous is the term applied to a person who displays characteristics or performs tasks traditionally associated with both sexes Gender identity is an internal sense of being male or female Gender dysphoria: individuals who experience discomfort with their sex Transgender: having a sense of identity as a male or female that conflicts with one’s biological sex Copyright © 2015 McGraw-Hill Education. All rights reserved. No reproduction or distribution without the prior written consent of McGraw-Hill Education.
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Sexual Orientation Sexual orientation refers to the emotional, romantic, and sexual attraction to a member of the same sex, the other sex, or both Exists along a continuum Influenced by a complex interaction of biological, psychological, and societal factors Heterosexuality: emotional and sexual attraction to members of the other sex Homosexuality: emotional and sexual attraction to members of the same sex Bisexuality: emotional and sexual attraction to both sexes Copyright © 2015 McGraw-Hill Education. All rights reserved. No reproduction or distribution without the prior written consent of McGraw-Hill Education.
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Committed Relationships and Lifestyle Choices
Marriage Gay and lesbian partnerships Cohabitation Divorce Blended families Singlehood Copyright © 2015 McGraw-Hill Education. All rights reserved. No reproduction or distribution without the prior written consent of McGraw-Hill Education.
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Marriage Both a legal union and a contract between the couple and the state Age at first marriage has risen Benefits for both individual and society Important predictor of successful marriage: positive reasons for getting married Characteristics of successful or unsuccessful marriage typically present before marriage Men more likely to have a sexual affair; women more likely to end a bad marriage by having an affair Copyright © 2015 McGraw-Hill Education. All rights reserved. No reproduction or distribution without the prior written consent of McGraw-Hill Education.
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Gay and Lesbian Partnerships
Same-sex couples have same desire for intimacy, companionship, passion and commitment in relationships Frequently have valuable relationship skills: Flexible role relationships Ability to adapt to a partner Ability to negotiate and share decision-making Effective parenting skills Homophobia: irrational fear of homosexuality and homosexuals Gay marriage hot political topic As of November 2013, legal in 14 states Copyright © 2015 McGraw-Hill Education. All rights reserved. No reproduction or distribution without the prior written consent of McGraw-Hill Education.
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Cohabitation Cohabitation is when two people of the opposite sex live together as unmarried partners Increased tenfold since 1960s More than 60 percent of marriages preceded by cohabiting relationship Copyright © 2015 McGraw-Hill Education. All rights reserved. No reproduction or distribution without the prior written consent of McGraw-Hill Education.
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Divorce Forty to fifty percent of first marriages end in divorce
Challenges of married life Insufficient problem-solving skills Lack of commitment Unrealistic expectations Unsuitable choice of mate Leading cause of poverty Especially hard on children Best served by continuing contact with both parents, as long as parents get along Copyright © 2015 McGraw-Hill Education. All rights reserved. No reproduction or distribution without the prior written consent of McGraw-Hill Education.
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Divorce Rates by Ethnic Group
Copyright © 2015 McGraw-Hill Education. All rights reserved. No reproduction or distribution without the prior written consent of McGraw-Hill Education.
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Keeping Your Relationships Strong and Vital
Cohesion: the dynamic balance between separateness and togetherness in both couple and family relationships Relationships are strongest when there is a balance between intimacy and autonomy Flexibility: the dynamic balance between stability and change Communication is the tool that partners and families use to adjust levels of cohesion or flexibility when change is needed Copyright © 2015 McGraw-Hill Education. All rights reserved. No reproduction or distribution without the prior written consent of McGraw-Hill Education.
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Communities Community: group of people connected in a way that transcends casual attachment Typically, shared common goals and sense of belonging Being active in a community is likely to have a positive impact on health Positive relationships within a community are essential to personal health and growth Improve self-esteem Improve social capital: sharing and exchanging of resources Copyright © 2015 McGraw-Hill Education. All rights reserved. No reproduction or distribution without the prior written consent of McGraw-Hill Education.
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Community Starts Within
Fulfilling community participation requires an understanding of your beliefs, and how you fit into a particular community Value system: guidelines for how you want to live your life; map that provides structure for decision making Values: set of criteria for judging what is good and bad that underlies moral principles and behavior Purpose Meaning in life comes from using one’s strengths to serve a larger end Goals When you identify and pursue personal goals, you take responsibility for yourself and your life Copyright © 2015 McGraw-Hill Education. All rights reserved. No reproduction or distribution without the prior written consent of McGraw-Hill Education.
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Finding a Community That Works for You
Religious and spiritual communities Spirituality: experience of connection to self, others, and community at large, providing sense of purpose and meaning Spiritually connected people stay healthier and live longer Spiritual connectedness is associated with high levels of health-related quality of life Social activism and the global community Social causes can unite people from diverse backgrounds for a common good Peace Corps; Habitat for Humanity; Greenpeace; Clowns Without Borders; others? Copyright © 2015 McGraw-Hill Education. All rights reserved. No reproduction or distribution without the prior written consent of McGraw-Hill Education.
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Finding a Community That Works for You
Volunteering People who give time, money, support to others are likely to be more satisfied with their lives One-on-one contact and direct involvement are key to positive effects Service learning Meant to teach how to take the risk of getting involved in the lives of others The arts Embracing diverse cultures past and present; expressing inner thoughts and feelings Internet communities Copyright © 2015 McGraw-Hill Education. All rights reserved. No reproduction or distribution without the prior written consent of McGraw-Hill Education.
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