Perfectionism in Gifted Students

We In Doubt Call Nobody has all the answers, especially when it comes to parenting, so just as this kid did sometimes we need to reach out to families, friends, neighbors, school or sometimes emergency support

Perfectionism Defined Personality characteristics involves Tendency to place excessive emphasis on organization Setting of and striving for high personal standards Critical self-evaluation if these standards are not reached High concern over mistakes Doubts quality of personal achievement These definitions revolve around self worth and self concept, which we will talk about solutions to build these areas later in the presentation

Definition Continued Wikipedia Perfectionism, in psychology, is a personality disposition characterized by an individual striving for flawlessness and setting excessively high performance standards, accompanied by overly critical self-evaluations and concerns regarding others' evaluations. It is best conceptualized as a multidimensional characteristic, as psychologists agree that there are many positive and negative aspects. Wikipedia Perfectionism characteristics are not necessarily a negative trait

Types of Perfectionism 1. Adaptive Perfectionism 2. Maladaptive Perfectionism

Types of Perfectionism Adaptive Perfectionism Adherence to high self-standards, order, and organization Freedom to be less precise Experience positive feelings when task is completed Tend to report: High self esteem, conscientiousness, low procrastination, and good academic adjustment

Adaptive Behaviors Carefully attending to task and school work Keeping their rooms and workspace neat Engaging in limited acting out behaviors that require few discipline referrals

Types of Perfectionism Maladaptive Perfectionism High standards that never seem achievable Excessive self-criticism Completed projects are not enjoyed Considerable anxiety about imperfections Leads to depression, obsessive compulsive disorder: performing perfectly to reduce anxiety EX. Everything has to be in order ( stuffed animal in order, routine daily repeated, eating disorder because weight is perfected/control

Types of Perfectionism All or Nothing Thinking Transforming Desires into Demands Focusing on unmet goals and challenges rather than success If I completed this power point and someone pointed out one spelling error, then my presentation would be worthless If I am completing a test I don’t aim for passing I set the goal of perfection/perfect score or it is a failure If I completed a task ¾ of the way, two weeks ahead of timeline, I would still be dwelling on the ¼ that I have not completed early

Identifying Maladaptive Behaviors Overly serious about their school work or task Frustrated when things do not go as they would like Hesitant to engage in activities that may result in a “mess” of some sort Extremely self critical behaviors Anxiety or depression

Other Signs of Perfectionism How does your child respond to competition? How does your child respond to compliments? How are you modeling? I must be the best Always have a but… thank you but, it’s nice of you to say that but…. When people give you a compliment how are you responding, when they are in sports or academic competitions how are you responding

Frustration as Parents

Activities Engaging children with play materials they would usually reject Toys and Art Material Play doh Clay Finger Paints Games like Fibber 1. Toys they can’t control or predict, those of which make it impossible to do it “right”: Finger Paint, Sand, Clay, Play Dough. Expo marker on desk, scribbling on paper with no purpose

Activities Students can learn many lessons from studying famous people Involve your students in the community This teaches effort is required yet obstacles will occur. Ex. Einstein wrote 20 theories to formulate the equations for the theory of relativity If they struggle with daily wrong doings then get them involved in something they feel like they are making a difference: Sam Inn, helping teachers, creating cards, dev. a community service project that will help others..

A Little Love and Logic Goes a Long Way Lock in Empathy Return Responsibility Turn your words into Gold Feeling followed by huh? Review Empathic Responses, What are you going to do about it…, frustrated huh, mad huh…. If you get the feeling wrong you are wording it in a question so it allows margin of error

Turn Your Words Into Gold What are you going to do about it…. I love you too much to argue…. That is something you can decide… What would work best for you ____ or ______ You can _______ or _____________ Do you want to know what other kids say works___ You worked really hard on that… How did you do that…. I noticed……. Handing responsibility back, avoid Praise so it is not external you want internal, avoid direct suggestions it is likely to be perceived as criticism, just like don’t start with why or no… defense words

Thoughts Kids that are gifted are often praised not for who they are as people but for what they can do that astounds others around them Consider what you are praising, their attempt or results Before looking at grades ask your child, what are you most proud of Ask, “What did you learn?” not “What did you earn?” Model Imperfection without apologizing Sometimes it Is easier not to try than to say I failed

References Ashby, J. S., Kottman, T., & Martin, J. L. (2004). Play therapy with young perfectionists. International Journal of Play Therapy, 13(1), 35-55. •Ashby, J. S., Kottman, T., & Stoltz, K. B. (2006). Multidimensional perfectionism and personality profiles. The Journal of Invidiaual Psychology, 62(3), 313-323. •Bardone-Cone, A. M., Sturm, K., Llawson, M. A., Robinson, D. R., & Smith, R. (2010). Perfectionism across stages of recovery from eating disorders. International Journal of Eating Disorders, 43(2), 139-148. •Cox, B. J., Clara, I. P., Enns, M. W. (2009). Self-criticism, maladaptive perfectionism, and depression symptoms in a community sample: A longitudinal test of the mediating effects of person-dependent stressful life events. Journal of Cognitive Psyhotherapy: An International Quarterly. 23(4), 336-349. •Hazan, C. & Shaver, P. (1987) Romantic love conceptualized as an attachment process. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 52(3), 511-524. •Kottman, T. (2001). Adlerian play therapy. International Journal of Play Therapy, 10(2), 1-12 •Purdon, C., Antony, M. M., & Swinson, R. P. (1999). Psychometric properties of the Frost MultidimensionalPerfectionism Scale in a clinical anxiety disorders sample. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 55, 1271–1286

References Rice, K. G., Ashby, S. J., & Preusser, K. J. (1996). Perfectionism, relationship with parents, and self-esteem. Individual Psychology, 52(3), 246-260. •Rice, K. G., Lopez, F. G., & Vergana, D. (2006). Parental/social influences on perfectionism and adult attachment orientations. Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, 24(4), 580-605. •Rice, K. G., & Mirzadeh, S. A. (2000). Perfectionism, attachment, and adjustment. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 47(2), 238-250. •Ulu, I. P., & Tezer, E. (2010). Adaptive and maladaptive perfectionism, adult attachment, and big five personality traits. The Journal of Psychology, 144(4), 327-340. •Wei, M., Heppner, P. P., Russell, D. W., & Young, S. K. (2006). Maladaptive perfectionism and ineffective coping as mediators between attachment and future depression: A prospective analysis. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 57 (1), 67-79. Sinem Akay, M.S.Ed. University of North Texas