Discipline in Children’s Ministry Prepared by the Resource Centre for Children’s and Family Ministry, Uniting Church in SA, 2007

Meet and Greet:  Share at your table or in a small group: Your name Age group of children A short explanation of your ministry program

Aims  Understanding discipline – an introduction  Creating a climate for positive behaviour – what to do before you start your session  Managing behaviour –what to do when you’re with the children

Discipline?

GO TO YOUR ROOM!!! Rules & Consequences 1.……. 2. ……….. 3. …….. 4..……… At your table come up with a definition of ‘discipline’.

Descriptions about discipline  It means ‘to teach, instruct, train’.  Discipline should be a positive process.  “The goal of discipline is for the child to reach a level of maturity that will allow him one day to function as a responsible adult in society.”  Discipline requires guidance by example, modelling, verbal instruction, correcting wrong behaviour, providing learning experiences and much more.

Descriptions about discipline  Discipline and punishment are not synonymous… Punishment is a type of discipline.  Discipline should not be confused with control. Discipline focuses on the learner, while control emphasises the teacher. (The Five Love Languages of Children by Gary Chapman & Ross Campbell. Strand Publishing 2006) (More than Glue and Glitter: A Classroom guide for volunteer teachers by Debbie Trafton O’Neal) (Tool Box: resource manual for children’s work by Children, Youth and Young Adults’ Ministries, SA UC SA Synod.)

Why do we discipline?  Because every society has standards that are considered right and wrong, acceptable and unacceptable.  Choosing to live an immoral life harms the individual and their society.  We discipline to train, teach and equip children to become responsible and socially accepted members of society.

How should we discipline?  we each have different standards for acceptable behaviour  we each have different methods that we believe are acceptable for disciplining children  we are trying to incorporate Christian love in discipline  we don’t want to make church feel like school  we only have the children for a short time

How should we discipline? “We will discipline, in the context of love.” Children and the gospel by Ron Buckland

“We will discipline, in the context of love”  “Discipline without love is like trying to run a machine without oil. It may appear to be working for a while but it will end in disaster.” “The Five Love Languages of Children” by Gary Chapman & Ross Campbell, p 114

“We will discipline, in the context of love”  Love looks out for the interests of others, so does discipline.  Discipline is an act of love.  Lack of love leads to lack of respect.  Practice unconditional love; then discipline.

Discuss: “There is no such thing as an inattentive child.”

Inattentive children? “Meg! The feathers are for gluing on the paper bird.”

Inattentive children? “James, stop wandering off!“

Inattentive children? “Mark, what have you done to your drawing?“

Inattentive children? “Andyyyyy, you know you’re not to have gum here.“

Inattentive children? “No Karen, you only went five minutes ago.”

Inattentive children? “Sam, stop yelling!”

Inattentive children? “STEVE! No, I said pretend to be Samson!”

Inattentive children? “I said, “Eyes this way!””

Discuss: “There is no such thing as an inattentive child.”

How we respond to discipline challenges is crucial to our ministry…  Modelling how to respond under pressure

How we respond to discipline challenges is crucial to our ministry…  Modelling how to respond under pressure  Child’s self esteem is in our hands

How we respond to discipline challenges is crucial to our ministry…  Modelling how to respond under pressure  Child’s self esteem is in our hands  Primary age children’s highly developed sense of fairness

Causes of misbehaviour  On page 5 of your handout, quickly list as many causes of misbehaviour that you can think of.

Causes of misbehaviour  An empty emotional tank

Causes of misbehaviour  What does this child need? Does this child need their love tank filled?

Causes of misbehaviour  What does this child need? Does this child need their love tank filled? Is this a physical problem?  Pain  Thirsty/ Hungry  Fatigued  Ill

Causes of misbehaviour See your handout -page 6  In the student?  In the classroom atmosphere?  In the teacher’s attitude? More than Glue and Glitter: A Classroom guide for volunteer teachers by Debbie Trafton O’Neal

Climate for positive behaviour  “Many behaviour problems will be avoided if your program captivates the children. Therefore, good preparation and presentation will form the basis of a good behaviour management strategy.” SU’s Very Essential Guide to Working with Children, p22-23

Climate for positive behaviour: Preparation  Your own spiritual care and growth  Never walk into a session unprepared  Know your children  Know yourself  Know the aims (long term goals) and objectives (goal/s for a session)  Prayer-paration

Climate for positive behaviour: Preparation  On the day: Arrive early to set up Lesson plans ready when you arrive All supplies on hand

Climate for positive behaviour: Planning  Meaningful experiences  Variety of learning and teaching techniques  Test all crafts/games/activities  Schedule of session  Plan as a team – decide who will do what  Cater for children with special needs

Climate for positive behaviour: Planning  Brainstorm at your table different ways that children can be involved in different aspects of the session, such as: Singing Telling the story Application Prayer time

Climate for positive behaviour: Planning  Evaluation: Did we achieve the objectives of the session? Is the routine working? What are the children enjoying? Why? What are they not enjoying? How can this be changed? Are a variety of teaching techniques being used?

Climate for positive behaviour: Planning Reflect: Write down one or two practices that you would like to begin, change of no longer use.

Climate for positive behaviour: Physical environment  Safe, welcoming, interesting  Child-sized tables and chairs  Appropriate floor coverings  Personalise area with children’s artwork  Materials accessible & available  Special area for storytelling  Lessen distractions

Climate for positive behaviour: Physical environment Share with a partner about how you currently create a welcoming physical environment or how you have seen this done.

Climate for positive behaviour: You, the teacher  Relationships  Respect  Humility  Consistency  Boundaries  Expectations  Attention

Climate for positive behaviour: You, the teacher  Language  Instructions  Special needs  Teacher:Child ratio One adult: 3 x three year olds Please note: different organisations and activities have different requirements Always have two adults in every room

Climate for positive behaviour: You, the teacher Social expectations of power:  Traditionally, power hierarchy teacher at top and children at bottom Children won’t “do what we want” anymore  Now, it’s more like a circle with values/vision in centre and children and teacher around the outside  Reflect on this new model’s implications for your role in managing behaviour.

Session review:  Descriptions about discipline  Why we discipline  How we should discipline  Causes of misbehaviour  Ways to create a climate for positive behaviour: Preparation Planning Physical environment Ways we interact with the children

Behaviour management strategies “There are no magic formulas … But there are “tricks of the trade” … tried and true ideas that, when adapted to fit the unique needs of both you and your students, can help your classroom be one that is manageable and a joy in which to teach!” More than Glue and Glitter: A Classroom guide for volunteer teachers (p31) by Debbie Trafton O’Neal

Behaviour management strategies: Incidents and strategies At your table:  Brainstorm some of the “problems” or discipline incidents that you have dealt with recently.  Share your strategies – “what works” in dealing with discipline incidents.

Behaviour management strategies: Rules and expectations  Rules and expectations Clearly stated, tailor-fit Include children in deciding on rules Explain any rules you must have Only have a few “don’t” rules Have as positive a list as possible Turn “don’ts” into “dos” eg. “Don’t run inside.” = “Walk inside.”

Behaviour management strategies: Rules and expectations We have these rules to ensure that everyone can be safe and happy in our class. We listen to whoever is talking We show sensible and responsible behaviour We respect other people and their property We follow teacher instruction We stay on task

Behaviour management strategies: Rules and expectations  Remind and restate rules regularly  Enforce rules consistently  Have rules on display Would anyone like to share any rules they currently have in their ministry program?

Behaviour management strategies: Attention getters Call out ways to get children’s attention.

Behaviour management strategies: Attention getters  Signals where the teacher does an action until all the children join in  Signals that the teacher gives and then waits for full attention before continuing  Vary voice volume  Write instructions on board

Behaviour management strategies: Attention getters  Decide at start of session or year  Let children practice responding  Expect children to raise their hands

Behaviour management strategies: Minor disturbances  It’s best to try and keep the program flowing by: Ignore misbehaviour and talk with the child later Stand near the child Establish momentary eye contact Pause half way through a sentence Use a simple gesture Remove distractions Praise positive behaviour

Behaviour management strategies: Minor disturbances  Requests: pleasant, positive way to control behaviour respects children’s opinions  Commands: negative conveys that children’s opinions not important

Behaviour management strategies: Minor disturbances At your table, come up with:  one short role-play that incorporates a teacher giving a request and  another role-play in which the teacher gives a command.

Behaviour management strategies: Major disturbances  Do not ignore, deal with at once  Look behind the problem to consider the real reason What might this child need? Is their emotional love tank full? Is it a physical problem?

Behaviour management strategies: Major disturbances  Be open and flexible to change  Look for “teachable moments”

Behaviour management strategies: Major disturbances  Step 1: Warning Give the child a simple yet clearly understood warning that their behaviour is unacceptable.  Step 2: Private consultation Talk with the child and warn about possible consequences if misbehaviour continues. Don’t threaten disciplinary action unless you are prepared to carry it through.  Step 3: Carry out disciplinary action

Behaviour management strategies: Major disturbances  Private consultation Deal with child alone but not out of sight Share your feelings about the misbehaviour and not the child Be concise Let the child tell you what s/he did wrong –prompt if needed Ask “what” not “why” Be sure the child understands why the behaviour is wrong and not to be repeated.

Behaviour management strategies: Major disturbances  Private consultation Explain a positive behaviour option the child could choose instead High 5 * Ignore * Walk away * Talk friendly * Talk firmly * Report

Behaviour management strategies: Major disturbances  Logical consequences Should tie directly to the misbehaviour Get children to determine the logical consequence –either when setting the rules or at the time of the misbehaviour Explore different alternative consequences and involve the child in choosing the most appropriate one Follow through on the consequence

Behaviour management strategies: Major disturbances  Punishment Involves placing a negative element into the child’s environment To be able to use it appropriately and with care, requires planning how you will implement it before misbehaviour occurs “The punishment must fit the crime” “One size does not fit all”

Behaviour management strategies: Major disturbances  Punishment Discuss at your table when and what type of punishment may be appropriate in a ministry program.

Behaviour management strategies: Major disturbances  Punishment Does not deal with the root problem of misbehaviour May provoke anger and resentment May leave the teacher with feelings of guilt and loss of confidence Often produces guilt and fear in children; not trust and love of good discipline strategies.

Behaviour management strategies: Major disturbances  Behaviour modification Positive reinforcement: placing a positive element into a child’s environment Negative reinforcement: withdrawing a positive element from the child’s environment

Behaviour management strategies: Major disturbances  Behaviour modification Positive reinforcement: placing a positive element into a child’s environment Call out some positive reinforcers.  social  tokens  activity  tangible

Behaviour management strategies: Major disturbances  Behaviour modification Negative reinforcement: withdrawing a positive element from the child’s environment Call out some negative reinforcers.

Behaviour management strategies: Major disturbances  Behaviour modification: Most helpful for specific, recurring, behavioural problems for which a child shows no remorse Use sparingly

Behaviour management strategies:  Case Studies In your handout on page 13. In pairs, choose a few different scenarios and work out:  How might you respond?  What might you say?

Conclusion  Our discipline begins in love.  Discipline is expressed in the way we: prepare to meet with our children and the way we interact with them.

Conclusion  In your handout, pages 14-15: Analyse the origins for your discipline style A child’s remorse, an adult’s forgiveness Tips on working with overactive children  In your handout, page 16 References

Conclusion  Take time to review your notes and see how it all applies to you.  Recognise the many things that you are doing well.  If you feel you want to make changes, don’t try to make them all at once. Focus on one thing a week/term.  Ask other teachers for help and advice.

Finding joy  Find joy in teaching: Smile Be enthusiastic Share your passion Enjoy the story Exude energy Always be ready to laugh The Ministry of Children’s Education: Foundations, Contexts, and Practices. Introduction by Margaret Krych Chapter 9, “Teaching to Engage Children” Susan Wilds McArver p231 – 236

Finding joy  Find joy in teaching: Love your children as children of God Affirm them Support them Pray for them Pray with them Let the Spirit guide you The Ministry of Children’s Education: Foundations, Contexts, and Practices. Introduction by Margaret Krych Chapter 9, “Teaching to Engage Children” Susan Wilds McArver p231 – 236

Finding joy “Discipline is an awesome task requiring wisdom, imagination, patience, and great amounts of love. ”