LOVE vs. Infatuation

Write it down on your heart. Love Is…… Write it down on your heart.

The Giving Tree By: Shel Silverstein

How would you describe the kind of love the tree had? How would you describe the kind of love the boy had? How did you describe love?

Love is a feeling you feel when you feel you are feeling a feeling you’ve never felt before.

LOVE according to Webster’s Dictionary Strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties. Attraction based on sexual desire, affection, and tenderness felt. Connection based on admiration, benevolence, unselfish loyalty, concern for the good of another, or common interests Warm attachment, enthusiasm, or devotion, to hold dear. A score of zero, holding one’s opponent scoreless in tennis.

We know for sure that…. Love is vital to the well-being of a person Elderly in rest homes or without spouse Love is based on and best expressed through trust, honesty, and respect. There are many types of love that we receive daily. Before you can love anyone else, you must first love yourself = Self Love

Unconditional love Showing love towards someone regardless of his or her actions or beliefs

SELF-LOVE Respect and concern for self An egotistic, narcissistic kind of love.

COMPANIONSHIP LOVE. Typically found in good friendships

PLATONIC LOVE Spiritual and intellectual relationship between a man and a woman. Non sexual, no physical attraction

MANIC LOVE A crazy, possessive, jealous kind of love.

PRAGMATIC LOVE A rational reasoning kind of love. Arranged marriage

ROMANTIC LOVE Also known as “puppy love”, is an exaggerated form of love.

ALTRUISTIC LOVE Selfless love, or concern for the spouse.

SEXUAL LOVE The intimate expression of love. This type of love is best saved for a committed married couple

Love vs. Infatuation Happens quickly Short-lived Physical thrills Jealousy Rush to marry Grows slowly Long lasting Trust More realistic More thoughtful

Each group will divide the statements about love into two piles Each group will divide the statements about love into two piles. Infatuation and Love

Love is …….. * Grows slowly, beginning with friendship * Lasts over a long period of time * Involves the entire character and personality of the partner * The relationship grows and matures as time passes * Little jealousy—accepting of one another's feelings * Work harder at assigned tasks * Less emotional and moody—more happy and kind * Opinions of other people are not as important * Fun times and friendship are more important than a physical relationship * Share common interests * Enjoy being together without need of expensive entertainment * Trust and have confidence in self and in the relationship * Trust the partner * There is no rush to make decisions—the future is planned with confidence * More vital, more energy * See life realistically

Infatuation is ………. Is common during teen years * Grows rapidly—love at first sight * Does not last long * Occurs shortly after breaking up with someone—known as “on the rebound” * Is centered on a few admired traits in the other person * Is often based on physical traits or feelings * Does not see or acknowledge the other person's weaknesses * The relationship stays the same for a long time—does not go anywhere * Selfish and possessive of the other person—jealous * Disagreements are common -- fighting * Daydream—cannot concentrate on necessary tasks * May lose your appetite * Is easily influenced by the person they are infatuated with * Creates a selfish relationship—"How can he/she help me get what I want?" * Other people's opinions matter too much * May be based on physical enjoyment–a couple who finds themselves bored without physical stimulation * Feelings of insecurity * Lack of trust in partner * Feels a real need to marry * Causes lack of ambition and to disregard problems

WEB LOVE INFATUATION Money and status Money and status Sex Sex Physical looks Physical looks INFATUATION LOVE

A Love Attitude Inventory ON YOUR OWN PAPER

What Love Isn’t Dear Abby, after 13 years of being with an abusive husband, I finally figured out what a jerk here really is. I sat down one day and wrote down all the things he has put me through and titled it, “Love isn’t”…. Raising you hand with intent to scare or harm your spouse. Making yourself absent when your spouse is sick Standing them up for important celebrations Screaming or yelling at them Calling them names: stupid, liar, #!@% Being nice only when you want affection Not letting them express their opinions Thinking of yourself first Criticizing them in front of other people Threatening them Being physically, verbally, and emotionally abusive

Ladder of Love Mature love for others Love for children Love for the opposite sex Love for someone the same sex, older Love for same sex friend First love outside the family Love of other relatives Love for secondary caregiver Love for primary caregiver Self-love Love for humankind, very unselfish love. Unselfish love with ability to love without expecting anything in return. Begins with interest in the other sex and continues throughout life. Role model and exemplified what you wanted to become. Close friend of the same age and sex. You had fun with this person and loved him for the times shared. Love of a relative which brought a special sense of security. This person met your needs and cared for you. Usually your father. Your primary caregiver (usually mother). Until you love yourself, you cannot truly love another.

Look at your “ABCs of Love Look at your “ABCs of Love.” What types of love were the characteristics you listed?