Individual & Family Dynamics 120 Dating & Love Individual & Family Dynamics 120

Agenda Is it Lust or Love video 5 Minutes The Growth of Mature Love 20 Minutes Relationship Red Flags 5 Minutes Reflection #16 10 Minutes Three Case Studies of “Love” Worksheet 20 Minutes DATING INTERVIEW DUE TODAY!!!

Is it Lust or Love?

The Growth of Mature Love RAPPORT PERSONAL SHARING FEELING OF SATISFACTION Physical Computing DEPENDENCY ON EACH OTHER

Rapport The two individuals develop rapport. They care about each other and enjoy being together. They want to spend more time getting to know each other.

Personal Sharing As rapport grows, the couple shares more personal thoughts, ideas and feelings. Through this personal sharing, each person exposes the inner self and finds acceptance by the other. Trust develops. If one or the other does not feel accepted, mutual sharing and the growth of love stops.

Dependency on Each Other The couple is becoming attached to each other, and depend on each other for support and encouragement. They miss each other when they are apart and look forward to being together.

Feelings of Satisfaction Both feel their personal needs are being met in the relationship. The two are important and valuable to each other. As their needs are fulfilled in the relationship, their love grows deeper.

How does the cycle continue How does the cycle continue? As needs are met, the couple is motivated to spend more time together. Times of deep personal sharing increase. They share empathy, become more attached to each other, and depend on each other to meet more and more of their emotional needs. As the needs are met, more interaction is encouraged. In this way, the cycle continues. Mature love grows deeper. As couples grow in mature love, they become committed to each other’s happiness and wellbeing. This commitment remains strong even if romantic feelings decrease. To keep love growing, though, couples must continue giving to the relationship throughout life. They must continue to spend more time together, share, depend on each other and meet each other’s needs.

Infatuation Vs. Mature Love Based on an instant desire for each other. Decreases over time. Self-centered with attitudes like “I don’t want to lose you. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” Possessive and one sided. Lacks confidence and trust in each others commitments. Often involves pressure to be sexually involved. Based on sharing interests and ideas. Deepens and grows as a friendship grows Other-centered, giving of the self to benefit the other person. Encourages growth in the other person Trusting and secure Patient, kind, and willing to take time to make wise decisions.

Reflection #16 What do you think is the key to identifying your feelings as infatuation or mature love? **Refer to Friday’s Notes, if needed.