Family Life education 8th grade Coach Staup Coach Johnson Coach Cruz

Developing healthy relationships What Does Love Mean? “ Love is what makes you smile when you’re tired.” “Love is a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.” “When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouths.” Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it every day.  You really shouldn't say "I LOVE YOU” unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot.

Healthy relationships Happiness Trust Love Affection Equality Mutual respect Friendship Laughter Common interests Honesty Support Fair fights Acceptance Comfort Kindness Strong self-esteem Humor / fun Can be yourself Still are independent people Communicate well

Both Partners in a Healthy Relationship are: Treated with kindness and respect Honest with each other Like to spend time together Take an interest in things that are important to each other Respect one another’s emotional, physical, and sexual limits Can speak honestly about their feelings

Some relationships will end DISCUSS: Why might a friendship end? Why might you end a romantic relationship? A difficult but (at times necessary) end to a relationship must be handled with maturity and respect.

Breaking up with respect Communicate about the break up in person. It may be difficult and uncomfortable but respect each other enough to share your feelings in person. Honesty is essential - don’t offer excuses or promises that you have no intention of keeping. Immediate separation is important. Don’t prolong the inevitable. Give each other needed space. Speak with respect to the person and about the person in future conversations. Avoid gossip and sharing of hurtful information about others.

Unhealthy relationship No trust No respect Jealousy Abuse – emotional, physical, sexual Bad / no communication Low self-esteem Power issues Alienation of friends, family Unfair fights Other person tries to change you Lies Manipulation Lack of understanding No fun Fearful Controlling

Red flag alert Being physically hurt Feeling afraid of your partner Spending time with only one person while feeling isolated from others Feeling controlled Being threatened (verbally, emotionally, physically) A nervous or sick feeling around your partner Partner is easily angered Fear to make decisions without your partner Feeling intimidated by your partner Not feeling respected Partner has a constant need to know where you are and with whom you are spending time

School Resources for Coping with Unhealthy Relationships Teachers Coaches Counselors Nurses Administrators School Resource Officers

Ending An Unhealthy Relationship If you feel physically unsafe, breakup by phone or email, in a public place, or involve a trusted adult. Be clear that you are ending the relationship. Make sure family members and friends are aware that you are ending the relationship. Trust your decision and your instincts to end the relationship and seek help from supportive family and friends when you question your decision Ask for help, if needed school counselor family friend local police

Important resources for help 9-1-1 – emergency situations National Teen Dating Violence Hotline – 1-866-331-9474

Create Your Contact List: Include #, Availability, When to Use Each Contact Local Police # Friend/Family # for Emergency Friend/Family # for Support Local # for Professional Counseling Services if Needed Faith Leader Health Department

Promoting tolerance Explain the effects of tolerance and intolerance on individuals in society.

Tolerance Tolerance- a fair and permissive (understanding) attitude towards those individuals race, religion, or nationality differs from ones own. Intolerance- Unwillingness to acknowledge the views, beliefs, and practices that differ from ones own. Discriminatory- Behavior that makes a distinction in the way and individual treats someone or shows favor or prejudice and individual or group of people

Tolerance terms “isms”: Beliefs, attitudes, assumptions, and actions that subject individuals or groups to discriminatory behavior: racism, sexism, ageism. Prejudice: Suspicion, intolerance, or irrational dislike directed at an individual or group of people. Stereotype: An overly simple picture or opinion of a person, group, or thing. Example - It is a stereotype to say all old people are forgetful.

Group discussion In groups of 4-5 discuss some stereotypes you have heard about various groups

Stereotypes and Intolerance Think, Pair, and Share at least 5 common stereotypes that exist. Predict how each of these stereotypes affect individuals and society. How might stereotypes lead to intolerance? Identify one example of intolerance that has negatively impacted individuals and society? Describe the short-term and long-term consequences of that intolerance.

What does tolerance look like? Respecting differences Avoiding judgmental and alienating actions Acknowledging, understanding, and looking beyond differences Attitude of fairness and equality DISCUSS “What are the benefits of tolerance?” …to individuals? …to society?

Communication skills Passive, Assertive, and Aggressive

Types of communication Passive: offering no opinion or resistance Aggressive: communicating in a rude or disrespectful way Assertive: stating opinion in a respectful or positive way

Continuum

Assertive communication is a win-win

Steps for “I” messages Tell the person what bothered you. Tell the person the effect that his/her behavior had on you. Tell the person how this behavior made you feel. Example: “When you went to the concession stand at halftime and never came back to sit with me, I had to sit alone for the rest of the ballgame. I was embarrassed and angry.”