1. Do Now:
What are characteristics you want in a healthy relationship from friend or boyfriend/girlfriend?

2. Healthy vs Unhealthy Relationships
Unit 5

3. Write down 3 interesting thoughts from video

4. Healthy Relationships-Think-Pair-Share
Think about a positive peer relationship in your life. (NOT Romantic)
What do you like about them?
How are you alike?
How are you different?
What traits do you admire about them?
How does this person treat you?
What happens when you disagree?
How do you feel when you’re with this person?
Why do you feel this relationship works?

5. Qualities of a healthy Relationship
Respect
Trust
Listen
Take time to help each other
Believe in each other
Comfortable around each other
Safe around each other
Never scared or afraid of how they may react
Talk about everything and anything
Important in all relationships. We look for same qualities in friends and in BF/GF – help us grow and feel good about yourself

6. Unhealthy Relationships
Neglect (yourself or partner)
Feel pressure to change who you are
Feel worried when you disagree
Feel pressure to quit activities you enjoy
Pressure to agree with them
Justify your actions (where you go, who you see)
Pressure to have sex
Pressure to share everything, lack of privacy

7. Unhealthy Relationships
Refusal to use safer sex methods
Arguments not settled fairly
Yelling or physical violence during an argument
Attempt to control or manipulate each other
Control how you dress or criticizes your behavior
Do not make time to spend with one another
No common friends or lack of respect for each others friends and family
Lack of fairness and equality

8. Seek Help
When you are unhappy in a relationship, but cannot decide if you should accept your unhappiness, try to improve the relationship, or end the relationship.
When you have decided to leave a relationship, but find yourself still in the relationship.
When you think you are staying in the relationship for the wrong reasons, such as fear of being alone or guilt.
If you have a history of staying in unhealthy relationships.

9. Where to get help National Teen Helplines: Planned Parenthood
Planned Parenthood
Guidance Counselor
Trusted Adulted

10. Boundaries: Help separates healthy relationship from unhealthy relationships
Walk Towards Me
In pairs (decide who is “A” & “B”)
”A” lines up against one wall
“B” go to opposite side of room
When I say go “A”s will walk towards ”B”s
“B”s will put your hand up and say “stop” when your partner has gotten close enough and you would feel uncomfortable if they moved closer.
*Notice the distance*
How did you decide it was time to stay stop?
Were you surprised at how different people’s boundaries are?

11. Homework-Journal -Please review the following list and circle 5 ways you want to be treated in a relationship. I want my partner to …  
Respect me
Nurture me
Trust me
Support me
Protect me
Encourage me
Take care of me
Treat me as an equal
Treat me like a king or queen
Love me
Treat me honestly
Need me
Impress me
Commit to me
Be trustworthy
Make me laugh
Treat me fairly
Provide for me
Share interests with me
Be a good listener
Give me space when I need it
Looking at the 5 you chose, please list your number one most important way you would like to be treated by a dating partner and write a brief explanation of why that behavior is so important.
Quality:
Explanation:

12. Types of Communication
Verbal
Speaking
Listening
“It is not sufficient to know what one ought to say, but one must know how to say it.” -Aristotle
Nonverbal
Paralanguage
Signs or Symbols
Body Language

13. Speaking Skills Clear Specific Quick or Slow
Must ask for what you want
Specific
Do you want a listening ear or suggestions?
Quick or Slow
Underlying emotions (anger, fear, happiness, nervousness, sadness)
It is not what you say but how you say it.
Ex: My teacher asked me to stay after school today.

14. Listening Skills Active Listening
Receive the message is just as important as being able to relay the message
Paraphrasing
Feeling
Feedback

15. Are You a Good Listener? Face the speaker-Eye contact
Verbal and nonverbal signs you are listening
Pay close attention to what speaker is saying (notice body language)
Ask questions to clarify
Give appropriate feedback
Compliment the speaker
Try and understand how the speaker is feeling
Don’t allow personal biases to affect what you are hearing
Offer suggestions rather than advice.
Empathy 101

16. Poor Listening Skills Looking around the room rather than speaker
Interrupting the speaker before they are finished
Making totally unrelated remarks
Changing the subject
Continuing to do what you are doing rather than listening attentively
Trying to top the speaker’s story with what you think is a better one

17. Assertive Communication Skills
Say what they think and stand up for what they believe in
Don’t hurt or put down others
State your position
Use I-statements
Offer a reason
Acknowledge Other’s Feelings

18. Refusal Skills Clear “NO” messages Fogging Statements
Must say “NO”
Body language supports message- serious expression, cross-arms
Tone of voice
Repeat Refusal
Keep it simple- Don’t need to explain
Ex: “I love you too, but no, I don’t want to have sex.”
Fogging Statements
Delaying statement
Alternative Actions

19. Refusal Skills Fogging Statements Alternative Actions
Use humor or tacit to maintain control over situation
“You won’t have sex with me because you only think of yourself,” – ”Yes, I may seem selfish, but I am not doing it to be mean to you.”
Alternative Actions
Offer something else to do.
Delaying Statements
Pretend not to hear what was said
Change the subject
“I’ll need to think about that”

20. Repeat