Marshalling Social Support for Grandmothers Raising Grandchildren Symposium Paper Presentation Communication Styles and Goal Setting Strategies Katie Kutcher Gerontology Program Southern Gerontological Association Meetings Friday April 7, 2017 Asheville, NC

Marshalling Social Support for Grandmothers Raising Grandchildren 4 Session Intervention Session 1: Stress, Social Support and Goal Setting Session 2: Assertive Communication and Goal Attainment Session 3: Assertive Communication and Support Session 4: Planning for the Future

Communication Styles as learning skills to enhance grandmothers’ ability to obtain help Passive Assertive Aggressive Avoidance Submissive Boundaries are violated by others “You win, and I lose.” Cooperative Collaborative Boundaries are mutually respected “We both win!” Confrontational Reactive Disrespect for others’ boundaries “I win- you lose.”

Communication Styles The intervention explores communication styles: Identifies and describes three different communication styles Provides examples and role plays of different communication styles in action The grandmothers self-identify their perceived main communication style Communication style homework Grandmother’s Rights Techniques for effective communication

Scenario Barbara takes care of her grandson, Michael who is 11 years old. Barbara has arranged for Michael’s 19 year of brother, Daniel, to watch Michael while she attends a weekly one hour exercise class. An hour before Barbara is scheduled to attend her class, Daniel calls to say that he has changed his mind and doesn’t want to take care of Michael after all.

Communication Styles Grandmothers were asked to identify their main communication style with the following: Teachers & Health Professionals Family Members & Friends Grandchild’s behaviors and needs

Goal Setting and Goal Attainment as Strategies to empower grandmothers Goal Setting occurs at all 4 sessions. Grandmothers identify 1 to 3 goals they wish to achieve Grandmothers provide a confidence rating Grandmothers report back on goal attainment at following session

Goal Setting and Goal Attainment as Strategies to empower grandmothers How many goals did you state for yourself? (Session 1) One 1 Two 9 Three 6 Which goal is the most important for you to accomplish? (Session 1) Goal #1 10 Goal #2 5 Goal #3 1 How likely you will be able to accomplish this goal #1? (Session 1) Somewhat likely 6 Almost certain 10

Goal Setting and Attainment Procedure   GOAL #1 GOAL #2 GOAL #3 Briefly restate the goal I have a copy of the goals you set for yourself during the last session we met. Let us review what they were and then discuss whether you accomplished each goal and also whether you are satisfied with your effort at accomplishing each goal. Get organized with kids and have time to myself Exercise, swimming, walk at least one day per week Meet with family & friends for something fun together Attend school board meeting for advocacy Start a mentoring project to help teachers out. Did you accomplish your goal?   (1) Not at all 4 (2) Not very well 1 (3) Somewhat 1 (4) Mostly 1 (5) Completely 8   (1) Not at all 9 (2) Not very well 0 (3) Somewhat 2 (5) Completely 4   (1) Not at all 11 (2) Not very well 3 (5) Completely 3 How satisfied are you with your effort?   (1) Not at all satisfied 2 (2) Not very satisfied 1 (3) Somewhat satisfied 4 (4) Quite satisfied 0 (5) Very satisfied 9   (1) Not at all satisfied 6 (3) Somewhat satisfied 3 (4) Quite satisfied 2 (5) Very satisfied 4   (1) Not at all satisfied 0 (3) Somewhat satisfied 8 (4) Quite satisfied 7 (5) Very satisfied 0

Goal Setting and Social Support How Helpful was the Goal Setting Process in helping you to better plan increase your social support during the last week? Not at All Helpful 0 Somewhat Helpful 1 Quite Helpful 8 Extremely Helpful 7 Do you have any comments about the Goal Setting Process? Keeping goals in mind helps me to get help, learning to do for myself. It gives me something to look forward, it holds me accountable. It is helping me do goal setting in other areas. It's good to set goals and complete them. If you don't accomplish, that's no good. You have to set goals so you can figure out how to achieve them. I am happy making steps towards goals.

Goal Setting and Social Support How Helpful was the Goal Setting Process in helping you to better plan increase your social support during the last week? Not at All Helpful 0 Somewhat Helpful 1 Quite Helpful 8 Extremely Helpful 7 Do you have any comments about the Goal Setting Process? Keeping goals in mind helps me to get help, learning to do for myself. It gives me something to look forward, it holds me accountable. It is helping me do goal setting in other areas. It's good to set goals and complete them. If you don't accomplish, that's no good. You have to set goals so you can figure out how to achieve them. I am happy making steps towards goals.

Goal Setting and Social Support Why is so important for you to accomplish that goal? I'll feel less tension, less stress We had some misunderstanding this week and want to clear the air out. I want to see my good friend for a while To have some me time I feel better after exercising I value family unity and want to see a supportive friend To be a better citizen of the community and advocate for children. Good for my health. Gives you a chance to take time for me. Me time. Need to make new friends in order to not feel so isolated. Greater impact on community.