Communicating Effectively

Effective Communication Demonstrating effective communication skills and resistant skills is critical in building and maintaining healthy relationships Four basic skills are needed for effective communication, what are they? “I” messages, Active Listening, Assertiveness, Body Language

Communication Styles Passive Communication Aggressive Communication Assertive Communication

Passive Communication Involves inability or unwillingness to express thoughts and feelings. These people do not stand up for themselves or defend their own attitudes or beliefs. Example: People who “go along” with what others decide to do

Aggressive Communication Often try and get their way through bullying and intimidation, Do not consider rights of others In heated situations they tend to attack the person and not the problem

Assertive Communication The ability to express thoughts and feelings clearly and directly without harm to others These communicators defend their attitudes and beliefs, but also respect the attitudes and beliefs from others Attack the problem, not the person

Speaking Skills When you interact with others you are responsible for making your thoughts and feelings known “I” Message” Statement in which a person describes how he or she feels by using the pronoun “I”

Listening Skills Improve your listening skills by practicing active listening Active Listening Giving your full attention to whatever the speaker is saying without interrupting or making judgments

Techniques for Active Listening Ways to show others that you are listening Reflective Listening Rephrase or summarize, shows that you understand Clarifying Ask the speaker how he/she feels about the situation, ask questions that help you better understand Empathizing The ability to imagine and understand how someone else feels Encouraging Show that you’re interested and involved (nodding head, “I see,” “Uh-huh,” or “I understand”

Nonverbal Communication Messages you send to others that do not involve words Gestures Facial Expressions Behaviors Posture Examples: Embarrassed or ashamed Interested Nervous or Worried

Barriers to Communication Verbal and nonverbal messages given by the speaker do not agree The listener is not actively listening The speaker and the listener are speaking a different “language” The listener’s personal biases affect his or her response to the speaker The speaker and/or listener are resistant to change

Barriers to Communication (cont.) The speaker makes assumptions about the listener The listener is distracted by noise or other commotion Not enough time is set aside for discussing the issue. The listener is busy organizing his or her own thoughts rather than listening to the speaker

Communication Blockers Statements that almost always keep good communication from taking place and can be counted on to make a bad situation worse.

Communication Blockers Insulting - That is the ugliest shirt I’ve ever seen. Blaming - It’s all your fault. Name Calling - Do you have to be a total jerk? Accusing - You took the money from my jacket. Sarcasm - Sure; you had no idea I’d mind your taking it without asking Threatening - The next time you do that, you’ll be sorry Globalizing - You’re always putting me down. You never let me finish what I’m saying Teasing – “Ha! Ha! Your hair looks like a dog’s!”

Eliminating Communication Barriers Image and identity issues Unsure of values, trying to find a place in the world Unrealistic expectations May cause individual to become frustrated or defensive Lack of trust Prejudice Unfair opinion or judgment of a particular group of people; this prevents a person from having an open mind and listening to new information Gender stereotyping Example: assuming all males like sports and all females enjoy cooking

Constructive Criticism Non-hostile comments that point out problems and encourage improvement Creates positive changes Should not be given in an aggressive way Use “I messages” – Example: “I really don’t like missing the opening scene of a movie. Let’s try to get here a few minutes early next time, ok?”