As I ran to the finish line, my heart was racing. Words that are not specific Words that are overused Sentences that are unclear As I sprinted to the finish line, my heart was pounding. How did the writer replace the overused verb ran? What other replacements do you see? How did they improve the text?
Shadows made the night seem scary. Ominous shadows made the calm night seem frightfully scary. ◦ How did the second sentence make you feel, compared with the first?
The candidates talked about the issues, and many of the issues were issues that had been on voters’ minds. The candidates talked about the issues, many of which had been on voters’ minds. ◦ Describe the revision you see. ◦ How did taking out unnecessary repetition of the words issues help the sentence flow more naturally? “Issues” was deleted twice.
Put the walnuts over the strawberries, which are on top of the pineapple in a bowl. You’ll have a delicious fruit salad! To make a delicious fruit salad, cut pineapple into a bowl, add strawberries and then sprinkle a few walnuts over the top. Much easier to visualize!
Use the RADaR method to revise the following sentences on a separate piece of paper: 1. She likes cookies. 2. My aunt drove her car. 3. He was pretty sure the skunk was hiding. 4. Mitzy broke the zipper. She wasn’t worried. 5. It was cold outside.
As you re-read your draft about ‘the hidden you’, locate places where you could improve by either replacing, adding, deleting, or reordering parts of your writing. The very first thing you need to check is this: Did you respond to the prompt in the expected way? This prompt asked for you to write about yourself to someone who does not know how you truly are. Did you explain? If you did not write your or finish your first draft this would be a good time to do so.
1. – She performed the surgery with great skill. 2. 2 – She saved the patient’s life. 3. 1 – The child pedaled furiously down the sidewalk. 4. 2 – The child ignored the big kids on their flashy ten speed bikes. 5. 1 – They conducted a survey of Jackson Heights residents. 6. 2 – They found that most opposed construction of the airport. 7. 1 – Three flares spiraled upward from the little boat. 8. 2 - They exploded against the night sky. 9. 1 – We camped on Mount Snow. 10. 2 – We learned a lot about self-reliance.
An independent clause contains a subject and a verb and expresses a complete thought. Independent clauses are complete sentences Example: The doorbell rang. A subject-shows (A) what the sentence is about, or (B) who or what performs the action. A verb-Verbs are doing words. A verb can express a physical action, a mental action, or a state of being.
A dependent clause contains a subject and a verb but DOES NOT express a complete thought. A dependent clause is NOT a complete sentence Example: After mother got home, Can not stand alone, must be matched with an independent clause.
Carla went to H.E.B. Bryan ran for his life Tyrel ate some Takis.
A compound sentence contains two independent clauses joined by a coordinating conjunction Two simple sentences put together Ex: I tried to speak Spanish, and my friend tried to speak English.
Coordinating conjunctions combine two equal parts of speech (Independent clause and independent clause)
For And Nor But Or Yet So Remember the acronym FANBOYS
1. Jessica has never failed a test nor has she ever gotten a referral. 2. Tyrone must study or he will do poorly on his final exam. 3. Jason thinks he is the most handsome boy at school yet his egotistical attitude prevents him from finding a date. 4. Jack needs to make at least a 90 on his final exam so he can pass English II. Now write your own.
1. Amber loves the circus. She hates clowns. 2. Naira is terrified of heights. She scaled the building to save her pet cat. 3. Andre has to eat his vegetables. He will not get dessert. 4. Stevie failed his grammar exam. His parents will be disappointed.
A complex sentence contains an independent and dependent clause joined by a subordinate conjunction. Ex: The teacher returned the homework after she noticed the error.
Subordinating conjunctions combine two unequal parts of speech (Independent clause and dependent clause)
As After Although When While Until Before Because If Since Remember the acronym AAAWWUBBIS
1a. Tara went to American Eagle after she discovered thirty dollars in the pocket of an old pair of jeans. OR 1b. After she discovered thirty dollars in the pocket of an old pair of jeans, Tara went to American Eagle. 2a. Sam can finally start her band now that she has found an amazing drummer. OR 2b. Now that she has found an amazing drummer, Sam can finally start her band.
1. Patrice had to attend Saturday school. He was tardy too many times. 2. Charles cried his eyes out. He discovered that he failed English I. 3. Misty is very smart. She never fully applies herself.
In your hidden me, go back and revise 10 of your sentences. You must have at least 5 compound sentences, using FANBOYS You must have 5 complex sentences using AAWWUBBIS This will be done in the ADD portion of RADaR.
“Let’s eat, Grandma” vs “Let’s eat Grandma” Comma’s save lives, how did the comma change the meaning of the sentences.
To separate three or more things Example: He hit the ball, dropped the bat, and ran to first base.
To introduce elements Example: Running toward third base, he suddenly realized how stupid he looks.
To separate the added information The Founders Bridge, which spans the Connecticut river, is falling down.
To separate adjectives Example: That tall, distinguished, good looking fellow…
To separate quoted elements Example: Peter Coveney writes, "The purpose and strength of the romantic image of the child had been above all to establish a relation between childhood and adult consciousness."
Between a city and a state (Converse, Texas) Between the date and the year (September 10, 2014) Between a name and a title (Bob Downey, Professor of English) In long numbers (4,444,444)
1. Because she has been working so hard in math she expects to earn a high grade. 2. I like to watch television attend films and read but what I enjoy most are concerts. 3. John you can send the package to me at 444 Wise Avenue Seattle Washington. 4. I knew the answers because I had studied so hard and listened carefully in class. 5. John said “I’ll never understand why students pay to attend classes and then never show up. It seems at the very least that they would withdraw to avoid receiving an F but many of them don’t.” 6. No one in my family except for my grandmother knows how to make rabbit stew. 7. My cousin a vegetarian has always been healthy and energetic. In fact he still drives and lives on his own at the age of 88 which is remarkable. 8. The teachers that I like are the ones who take the time to answer questions.
Finish RADaRing Replacing Adding Deleting Reordering Add 5 compound sentences using FANBOYS Add 5 complex sentences using AAAWWUBBIS Add comma’s in appropriate places. **THESE STEPS MUST BE COMPLETE BY TODAY**
Now Write down your thoughts on the video for 3 minutes.