1. Why do children misbehave?
Mistaken Goals
Rudolf Dreikurs

2. Reasons children misbehave
Attention
Power
Revenge
Inadequacy

3. Children needs
Sense of belonging

4. Need for Attention
Child believes that unless they are the center of attention, then they have no role in the relationship!
Teacher reacts by getting annoyed, coaxing the child, and then doing for the child
Child will stop temporarily but will later resume the behavior in another manner.
Child believes that I only count or belong when I am the center of your attention.

5. Adult's Response to Power struggle
Fight, argue, demand, our voices get louder, angry, operating from the emotional part of our brain, planning our retaliation, if we give here then they are not going to do the other fun event planned, or something.

6. What should we do? Give attention when they are demanding it.
Avoid special service
Encourage them to do things on their own
Set up routines
Ignore
Send out “non verbals” to encourage competence in the child

7. Need for POWER!!!!!!
The child feels as if he only belongs when he has power over the other person. “you are not the boss over me, and I will beat you and do as I please”
Nobody wins in a power struggle!!!

8. Adult feels:
Annoyed, angry, frustrated, challenged and defeated, as well as embarrassed.

9. Need for Revenge
Child thinks they do not belong at all so the only they belong to any degree is when they are getting even.
The child feels as though they cannot be liked or loved

10. Adult feels
Hurt disappointed disbelieving and disgusted

11. Adult reacts by Retaliating Getting even
Thinking:”How could you do this to me?” playing victim, which is really dangerous

12. More appropriate responses
Deal with hurt feelings
Build trust with the child
Show you care
Act, don’t talk
Encourage strengths

13. Assumed Inadequacy
The child believes that they cannot belong because they are not perfect, so I will convince others not to expect anything of me. I am helpless and unable. There is no use trying because I won’t do right.

14. Adult Feels
Despair, hopeless helpless

15. Adult Reacts by:
Giving up
Doing for the child
Over helping

16. Child then Retreats further Becomes passive No improvement No repsonse
Gives up

17. What we should do Show faith Stop all criticism
Encourage postive attempts
Focus on assets
Teach skills/show how to do it, and then step back
Encourage and watch out for empty praise