2. Interpersonal Attraction
Friendship
Interpersonal Attraction
Love
Coping with Loneliness

3. Attraction

4. Attraction Attraction: A force that draws people together.
Attraction is broader than simple sexual attraction. Attraction also encompasses the feeling of liking towards friends, and having positive thoughts towards others.
Two forms of interpersonal attraction are friendship and love.

5. Physical Attractiveness
Physical attraction is the key factor determining romantic attraction.
Physical attraction includes such attributes as facial structure, tallness, figure, breasts, etc.

6. Beauty Some aspects of beauty appear to be cross-cultural.
Both British and Japanese men consider women with large eyes, high cheekbones, and narrow jaws to be most attractive.

7. Facial Attractiveness
Composite
Enhanced

8. United States
In our society, tallness is an asset for men, although college women prefer dates who are medium in height. Tall women tend to be viewed less positively.
Tallness is associated with social dominance and many men are uncomfortable when they must “look up” to a woman.
College women prefer their dates to be about 6 inches taller than they are, whereas college men, on average, prefer women to be 4.5 inches shorter.
Shortness is perceived to be a liability for both men and women.

9. Breasts
There is a stereotype in our society that men prefer larger breasts. In essence, the bigger the better.
While there is some support for this, one study found that people seem to have an exaggerated idea of the sizes the other gender actually prefers.

10. What about weight?
This tends to be a cultural phenomena. While some cultures value “plumpness”, there is great pressure in our society to be slender.
In today’s society, most college aged men believe that their build is close to what women are seeking, while women feel that they (women) are heavier than what men find attractive.
In studies…men actually prefer women to be heavier than women expect, and women expect men to be somewhat thinner than men assume.

11. Notice the gap between the current and ideal for both men and women.
Can we conclude anything from this?
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12. Gender Differences in Attraction.
Women place greater emphasis than men on traits like vocational status, earning potential, expressiveness, kindness, consideration, dependability and fondness for children.
Men give more consideration to youth, physical attractiveness, cooking ability and frugality.
Cross-cultural studies have discovered similar attitudes.

13. Stereotypes of Attractive People
Attractive people tend to be treated more positively by their peers.
We judge attractive people as popular, intelligent, mentally healthy and fulfilled.
We expect attractive people to be persuasive and hold prestigious jobs. We even expect them to be good parents and have stable marriages.

14. The Matching Hypothesis
Matching Hypothesis: The view that people generally seek to develop relationships with people who are similar to themselves in attractiveness and other attributes, such as attitudes.
Researchers have found that people who are dating steadily, engaged or married tend to be matched in physical attractiveness. Young married couples even tend to be matched in weight.

15. Attraction and Similarity
Similarity in attitudes and tastes is a key contributor to initial attraction, friendships, and love relationships. However, women appear to place a greater emphasis than men do on attitude similarity as a determinant of attraction.
Men seem to value attitude similarity in terms of sexuality rather than religious attitudes whereas women find religious attitudinal similarity to be more important.

16. Proximity and Reciprocity
We tend to develop relationships with individuals in close proximity to us. This makes sense as we are more likely to interact with individuals in closer proximity.
People who live closer together also tend to have similar attitudes.
Reciprocity: The tendency to return feelings and attitudes that are expressed about us.

17. Sexual Orientation
Sexual Orientation: The directionality of one’s romantic or erotic interests—that is, whether one is sexually attracted to, and interested in forming romantic relationships with, people of the other or the same gender.
Heterosexual: Referring to people who are sexually aroused by, and interested in forming romantic relationships with, people of the other gender.
Homosexual: Referring to people who are sexually aroused by, and interested in forming romantic relationships with, people of the same gender.
Bisexual: A person who is sexually aroused by, and interested in forming romantic relationships with, people of either gender.

18. Origins of Sexual Orientation
Psychodynamic: Unresolved oedipal or electra complexes lead to identification with the opposite gender parent.
Learning theory: Early reinforcement of sexual behavior can influence one’s sexual orientation.
Genetic factors: Researchers have found evidence for possible genetic factors.
Sex Hormones: Sex hormones may play a role in sexual orientation via both activating and organizing effects.
Ultimately, sexual orientation may be explained by a combination of factors (genetic, hormonal and environmental).

19. Attitudes, Coming Out and Adjustment
Although most people in the United States believe that gay people should have equal access to jobs, some would bar them from certain professions.
Due to the social environment in our society, gay males and lesbians often struggle to come to terms with their sexual orientation. The first challenge is to “come out.” This can be a difficult process given expectations that family and friends may react negatively.
Gay males and lesbians are more likely to experience feelings of anxiety and depression, and that they are more prone to suicide.

20. Friendship

21. Friends Clique: A small group of close friends who share confidences.
Crowd: A large number of loosely knit friends who share activities.
Friends play a major role throughout our lives. In late adulthood, for example, the quality of friendliness is associated with psychological well-being.

22. What Qualities are Important?
Psychology Today magazine survey of 40,000 readers found the following characteristics to be the 6 most important for friends: Ability to keep confidences, loyalty, warmth and affection, supportiveness, honesty and frankness, humor.

23. Fraternities and Sororities
Advantages:
Social support
Prestige
Lifelong network
Tradition
Social activities
Mentoring
Disadvantages:
Negative behavioral norms
Dating pressures
Exclusivity
Poor living arrangements
Time pressures
Hazing

24. Love

25. Styles of Love
Eros: Romantic love. Love at first site. “We are perfect for each other.” “I am turned on by you!”
Storge: Friendship-love. Storge is loving attachment, deep friendship, or nonsexual affection.
Pragma: Pragmatic, or logical love. “I consider a lover’s potential in life before committing myself.”
Mania: Possessive, excited love. “I get so excited about my love that I cannot sleep.”
Agape: Selfless love. “I would do anything I can to help my lover.”

26. Romantic Love in Today’s Society
When we speak of falling in love, we are referring to romantic love (not the type of love a parent has a child).
Romantic Love: a passionate form of love involving strong erotic attraction to another combined with desires for intimacy.

27. Sternberg (1986):
Intimacy: Based on the sharing of intimate (deeply personal) information and feelings of mutual acceptance (this is the emotional aspect of love).
Passion: Involves sexual attraction and the desire for sexual intimacy (this is the motivational force of love).
Commitment: The cognitive, or decisional component of love.

28. Triangular Model of Love
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29. Compatibility and Incompatibility

30. Romantic Versus Companionate Love
Does Romantic love provide a sound basis for marriage?
Hill (1976) followed 200 couples in college over a two year period during which over half broke up. (next slide shows reasons).
People are more likely to maintain relationships if they have developed companionate love.

31. Reasons for Break Ups
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32. Coping with Loneliness

33. Loneliness
People who are lonely, as compared to those who are not, tend to show the following behavior patterns:
They spend more time by themselves
They are more likely to eat dinner alone
They are more likely to spend weekends alone
They engage in fewer social activities
They are unlikely to be dating
Loneliness tends to peak during adolescence and older adulthood.

34. Causes of Loneliness Lack of social skills
Lack of interest in other people
Lack of empathy
High self-criticism
Failure to disclose information about themselves
Cynicism about human nature
Demanding too much too soon
General pessimism
An external locus of control
Lack of sense of community

35. What To Do? Make frequent social contacts Combat shyness Be assertive
Become a good listener
Let people get to know you
Fight fair
Tell yourself that you’re worthy of friends
Find an on-campus job
Make use of college counseling center services

36. To the Instructor:
The preceding slides are intended to provide you a base upon which to build your presentation for Chapter 11 of Nevid’s Psychology and the Challenges of Life.
For further student and instructor resources including images from the textbook, quizzes, flashcard activities and e-Grade plus, please visit our website:

38. Copyright
Copyright 2004 by John Wiley & Sons, Inc., New York, NY. All rights reserved. No part of the material protected by this copyright may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without written permission of the copyright owner.