1. Chapter 11
Social Skills

2. Vocabulary Relationship
An emotional or social connection you have with another person or group
Relationships change as we get older and can change from moment to moment depending on the situation.
Communication is essential to establish and keep a healthy relationship

3. Active Listening
Hearing and thoughtfully responding as a person is speaking
Paying attention to the person
Maintaining eye contact
Nodding to show understanding
Asking questions
Listening to the person rather then waiting to speak
Golden rule… Do unto others as you want done unto you

4. Body Language A way to communicate through body movements.
97% of communication is said via body language
Shows true emotion… may send a silent message to the listener or to those around you

5. Behavior How you choose to respond or act.
Passive: saying and doing little to nothing
Aggressive: threatening behavior, may include being physical
Assertive: Expressing your thoughts and feelings in a respectful way. Being considerate to others feelings, thoughts, and attempting to work together to solve problems.

6. Refusal Skills Think… Choose… Act !
Think of the situation and its possible consequences
Choose a course of action. One that you can be proud of and you know wont put your self or anyone else at risk physically, emotionally, or socially.
Act. Follow through with what you decided and after think about the outcome.

7. Conflict Resolution
Do you really listen or do you just wait for your turn to speak ?

8. Healthful Friendships

9. What is a healthful friendship?
A balanced relationship that promotes mutual respect and healthful behavior
Improves or maintains the quality of life
Friends…
Take personal interest in each other
Support each other
Encourage each other
Participate in social activities together

10. “A friend is a give that you give yourself”
“To have a friend you must first be a friend”

11. Initiating Friendships
Make a background check on the person (observations)
What do I know about this person?
Does this person have/display good character?
Do my parents know this person?
Will my parents approve of this relationship?
There is always a risk in initiating a friendship!

12. Conversation Activity !
Each student will get a partner and arrange desks around center yellow rectangle facing each other.
Begin a conversation with the goal of, ‘I need to learn one thing (not person) that this person likes and dislikes’
Person on the outside will rotate to each person on the inside

13. Conversation Keepers/Killers
Asking questions
Showing interest
Listening
Responding
Encouraging others
Being positive
Eye contact
Sharing ideas/feelings
Encouraging to talk
‘I’ messages
Talking about yourself
Appearing disinterested
Interrupting
Changing the topic
Bragging
Complaining
Avoiding eye contact
Talking to others
Dominating the conversation
‘You’ messages

14. Rejection Everyone experiences rejection
Rejection: the feeling of being un-welcomed or un-wanted
How should you respond?
Anger?
Bury Feelings?
Don’t care?

15. Handling Rejection
Use I-messages to share feelings with the person who reject your gestures of friendship
Share your feelings with a trusted adult
Reaffirm your high-self worth always!
“They don’t know what they’re missing!”

16. Barriers to Making New Friends
Shyness characterized by discomfort, inhibition, and awkwardness in social situations
Withdraw from interaction and expression
Loneliness characterized by unpleasant, painful, or anxious feelings as a result of having fewer or less satisfying relationships then desired
Temporary!

17. Balanced Friendships
Friendships requires the commitment of both people
Balanced friendship: 2 people give and receive from each other, acts of kindness
Equality

18. Ways to Give & Receive Listening Helping celebrate success
Special Gifts can be purchased or made
Listening
Accepting gifts or help
Express gratitude

19. One-sided Friendships
One-sided friendship: a friendship in which one person does most of the giving and the other does most of the receiving
Why?
People pleasers
constantly seeks the approval of others
Only give to be liked or noticed by others
Don’t know how to receive from others

20. Uncomfortable
Some do not know how to receive acts of kindness from others
They are uncomfortable accepting gifts of time or support
They have never learned to rely on others
Thus, they play the role of giver

21. “Users” People who do more or all of the receiving
Take from others to get their needs met
Little interest in meeting the needs of their ‘friends’
They believe they should always come first
Want to be in control of decisions
Don’t know how to become close to others

22. Ending Friendships Changing friends is part of growing up
Why do friendships change?
Friends may move away
A friend may break confidence
Interests change
There are times when a person needs to be objective and decide if a “friend” is a friend
Encourage wrong actions contrary to one’s own values

23. Application Not everyone will be a friend
You must be a giver before becoming a receiver
Don’t be consumed with yourself, take interest in others
If you are unhappy in a friendship, confront the other person kindly.
Do not feel guilty about ending a friendship

24. Harmful Relationships

25. Relationship
Relationship: a connection a person has with another person
A persons health status is affected by the quality of relationships they have
In general, relationships are usually healthful or harmful

26. Relationships Healthful Promotes self-respect
Encourages productivity and health
Free of violence and drug use, misuse, or abuse
Harmful
Harms self respect
Interferes with productivity and health
Includes violence (verbal, physical, mental, emotional), drug use, misuse, abuse

27. Harmful Ways of Relating
The people pleaser
The enabler
The clinger
The fixer
The distancer
The controller
The center
The abuser
The liar
The promise breaker

28. The People Pleaser Constantly seeks the approval of others
Do almost anything to be liked
Use alcohol or other drugs
Described as “doormats” because others can walk all over them with no consequences
Sabotage their chances for healthful relationships because others don’t respect them

29. The Enabler Support others’ harmful behavior
Deny or overlook another person’s harmful behavior, such as:
Drinking, gambling, or cheating
Make excuses or cover up others behavior
Might contribute to others behavior
Make bets for another with gambling problem
Drink with another who has a drinking problem
Sabotage: don’t require others to behave responsibly

30. The Clinger Needy and dependent
Feels empty inside and constantly turns to another person to feel better
No amount of attention or affection keeps the clinger feeling fulfilled
Eventually “suffocates” the other person
Sabotage: not giving other people space

31. The Fixer Tries to fix other people’s problems
Take on problems that are not their responsibility
Quick to give advice
Will identify different possible solutions and try them for the person
Fixers avoid their own feelings and problems
Sabotage: do not want others to solve their problems

32. The Distancer Emotionally unavailable to others
Keeps other people form getting too close in a number of ways
Being too busy to spend time
Avoid sharing feelings
Keep others at a distance to avoid getting hurt
Sabotage: not risking emotional involvement

33. The Controller Possessive, jealous, and domineering Seeks power
Might tell another person what to do, what to wear, and what to believe
Might monopolize a girlfriend/boyfriend’s time
Sabotage: not respecting the interests or opinions of others; dominating

34. The Center Self-centered Wearing “badge” that says “ME, ME, ME”
They do most of the talking and have little interest in what you say
Do what they want to do, when they want to do it
Aren't too concerned with others
Sabotage: focusing on themselves; ignore other’s needs

35. The Abuser Person who is abusive
Constantly put others down or harm others
Threaten, begin fights, act in other violent ways
Force (convince) another person to have sex
Tend to alternate periods of abusiveness with periods of gentleness
Sabotage: threatening and harming others

36. The Liar Does not tell the truth
Honesty is a foundation in any healthful relationship!
Lie about themselves to look good
Pretend to be something they are not
Avoids truth to manipulate others into the responses the liar wants
Sabotage: lying to get what they want

37. The Promise Breaker Not reliable
Make plans with another person and then be a “no show,” opting to do something better that has come along
Might promise to change their ways
People doubt their sincerity and commitment
Sabotage: not keeping their word

38. Interactions
Interactions or dynamics in harmful relationships often explain why people end up in such relationships.
People who relate in harmful ways are drawn to each other.
Some examples match-ups…

39. The Promise Breaker & the People Pleaser
PB makes plans to go to a movie with a PP
PB cancels the plans when something else comes along
PP is angry, but keeps anger inside and accommodates PB with new date
• PB—must learn to keep commitments
• PP—must set limits and share feelings

40. Controller & Enabler
C objects when girl/boyfriend spends time with friends
C is suspicious and accuses
E makes excuses for him/her, “He/She loves me so much…”
E gives up all her friends for him
C—respect gf/bf’s rights to have friends
E—take responsibility for him/herself

41. Clinger & Distancer C attracted to D because they fear being abandoned
D is emotionally unavailable
C & D afraid to get close
D runs from relationships; spends time, then backs off
C chases harder
C- address emptiness; develop self-confidence
D- share feelings and become close to others

42. What To Do ! Evaluate each of your relationships on a regular basis.
Recognize when you must end a relationship, rather then work it out.
Identify changes in behavior that must occur for you to stay in that relationship.
Talk to a parent, guardian, or trusted adult.
Have a frank discussion with the other person, sharing concerns and expectations.
Set a future date to evaluate again.

43. Application Life is full of relationships.
You can prevent, change, and free yourself from harmful relationships.
You do not have to stay in a harmful relationship.
Evaluate. Discuss changes. Set and keep a date to reevaluate!
Watch for others who may be in trouble.

44. Chapter 11
Lesson 3
Family Health

45. Empathy Sharing and understanding another persons feelings
Listening & reading body language
Identification of feelings
Becoming aware of another’s daily struggle
‘You do not know the trouble’s that people do not speak of !’

46. Tolerance
Ability to overlook differences and accept people for who they are.
Helps develop respect and understanding
Everyone is different
Supports responsible behavior

47. Nurturing
Providing the care and other basic things that people need to grow

48. Why walk when you can Roll!!!
Home: Hillsborough, New Jersey
Birthdate: December 1, 1983
After years of being a top medal contender in the women’s T53 class, Jessica Galli made the leap to being a world record breaker last season.  
Galli was injured in a car accident in September 1991, but shortly after became involved in disabled sports. In 1998, she attended her first international event, the IPC World Championships in Birmingham, England, and has been competing internationally ever since.

49. In June 2007, Galli set a new mark in the 400m at a European Wheelchair Championships meet in Switzerland, taking nearly a half-second off the old mark, set by Great Britain’s Tanni Grey-Thompson. Three weeks later, she chopped another four-tenths of a second off her time – and broke two other world records, the 200m and 800m – at the Meet in the Heat in Atlanta.
A 2000 Paralympic Games silver medalist in the 800m, Galli says finishing fourth twice in 2004 in Athens has motivated her to excel as she trains for this year’s Games in Beijing.
Galli graduated from the University of Illinois in 2006 with a degree in kinesiology. She is currently a graduate student at Illinois, working toward a degree in health policy and administration.

50. Major Achievements:
•    2008:  Nominated for an ESPY in the Best Female Athlete with Physical Disability category •    2007:  Named U.S. Olympic Committee Paralympian of the Year •    2007:  Three world records, 200m, 400m, 800m – Meet in the Heat, Atlanta, Ga. •    2007:  Two gold medals, 200m, 400m – Visa Paralympic World Cup, Manchester, United Kingdom •    2006:  Gold medal, 100m; Silver medal, 200m; Bronze medal, 800m – IPC Athletics World Championships, Assen, The Netherlands •    2006:  Two gold medals, 100m, 800m – Visa Paralympic World Cup, Manchester, United Kingdom •    2005:  Silver medal, 100m; Bronze medal, 400m – Visa Paralympic World Cup, Manchester, United Kingdom

51. Types of Families Nuclear Families – 2 parents at least 1 child
Single Parent – 1 parent at least 1 child
Adoptive – 1+ children born from other parents
Extended – Grandparents, aunts, uncles…
Blended – 2 families combine
Couples – can be families w/o children

52. Don’t over do it Even though you may want to help it may not be needed
Many people who may be physically disabled, may look like they are struggling with every day tasks… They my not want or need your help.
Ask clarification questions and respect others emotions before you act.