1. Higher Modern Studies: 20 Mark Essays

2. Learning Intentions By the end of this lesson, you should be able to: – Identify accurately the elements of a successful 20 mark essay – Explain the difference between analysis and evaluation, referring to examples of each – Evaluate a complex socio-economic or political issue by drawing conclusions To demonstrate this, you will: – Write a balanced introduction for a model essay – Write a paragraph which features a detailed point, analysis mark, exemplification and evaluative comment – Write a conclusion which includes at least one of the key evaluative skills

3. The 20 Mark Essay There will be one of these in your exam It can appear in any topic area – 8 marks for Knowledge & Understanding – 6 marks for Analysis & Evaluation – 4 marks for Conclusions – 2 marks for Structure

4. 1 mark2 marks3 marks4 marks 5-6 marks Range of relevant knowledge Accurate, relevant, up-to-date One relevant aspect of the issue given, with some description Two relevant aspects of the issue given, with some description or one relevant aspect covered, with detailed and accurate description One relevant aspect of the issue with detailed and accurate description and one relevant aspect with some description At least two relevant aspects with detailed and accurate descriptions — these should include the key aspects of the issue Quality of explanation/ exemplification of knowledge Up to a maximum of 8 marks available for knowledge and understanding Some explanation of one aspect of the issue or relevant exemplification Some explanation of two relevant aspects of the issue or detailed explanation of one aspect of the question which may include relevant exemplification Detailed explanation of one relevant aspect of the issue with relevant exemplification and some explanation of one aspect of the question At least two aspects of the question, fully explained, which relate closely to the key aspects of the question and extended, relevant, accurate and up-todate exemplification Analysis Comments that identify relationships/ implications, explore different views or establish consequences/ implications Up to 6 marks* One relevant and accurate analytical comment One relevant and accurate analytical comment that is justified or exemplified or two different relevant and accurate analytical comments One developed relevant and accurate analytical comment that is justified and exemplified: this should relate closely to a key aspect of the question One extended, accurate and justified analytical comment of an insightful nature which relates closely to the key aspects of the question and is exemplified At least two developed relevant and accurate analytical comments that are justified and exemplified. These should relate closely to the question and may be linked for 6 marks

5. 1 mark2 marks3 marks4 marks 5-6 marks Structure Structure which develops a consistent and clear line of argument Up to 2 marks Clear structure that addresses the issue identified in the question Structure that clarifies the issue, presents evidence and develops a clear and consistent line of argument Conclusions Evaluative comments which make a judgement(s) and or reach a conclusion(s) which address the key issues in the question Up to 4 marks* One conclusion that addresses a key issue in the question One extended and balanced conclusion that addresses a key issue in the question or two conclusions that address key issues in the question One extended and balanced conclusion that is justified and directly addresses the key issue(s) in the question or two balanced conclusions that address the key issues in the question, one of which is extended One extended and balanced insightful conclusion that is justified and directly addresses the central aspects of the question and which considers a range of viewpoints

6. What Do the Essay Questions Look Like? There are two possible question stems What do each of the following question stems mean? What are they asking you to do? To what extent Discuss To help us work this out, think about them in a non-course related context…

7. To what extent is Heart of Midlothian the greatest football club in Scotland?

8. To what extent is Adam C’s handwriting the most stressful part of Mr Thomson’s job?

9. Volkswagen Golfs are the best small car on the market. Discuss.

10. The mobile phone the most important tool in Marta’s social life. Discuss.

11. To what extent is Mr Thomson’s blog the most effective factor in improving pupil performance in Modern Studies?

12. Question Stems The stems don’t radically alter how you will answer the question, but you have to focus on them and make sure you engage clearly with what the examiner is looking for – To what extent = How much is… – Discuss = Evaluate the arguments in favour and in opposition to the statement. You have to answer the question that you are asked, or you will fail the question!

13. Structure To gain your 2 marks for structure, you must follow a logical and coherent line of argument The best way to set out your essay in order to achieve this is by following this structure: – Introduction – 4 balanced points/paragraphs – Conclusion

14. Introduction The intro should perform 3 key jobs: 1.Introduce the topic 2.Show you understand what the question is asking you and what you need to do to answer it 3.Give a basic, balanced response to the question

15. Model Intro Is this a good intro for an imaginary question, “To what extent is Nando’s the best place to eat in Silverburn shopping centre”? “In Silverburn, Nando’s is a popular place to eat. In this essay, I will discuss whether it is a good place to eat and to what extent it is the best.”

16. This is a Weak Intro WHY? Written in first person Doesn’t show any real understanding of the question Doesn’t give a response to the question Simplistic introductory comment No indication of how the question will be tackled

17. Model Intro 2 “Silverburn shopping centre in the Southside of Glasgow is home to more than a dozen outlets offering a dining experience for the thousands of shoppers who visit each day. Some argue that Nando’s provides the highest quality food thanks to its range of piri piri dressings; however, competitors such as Wagamama, Pizza Hut and La Tasca are very popular and also must be considered. Overall, whether Nando’s is the best place to eat in Silverburn is highly dependent on the individual preferences of the customer.”

18. This is Much Stronger It: – Gives some KU about the topic in the opening sentence to provide clear context – Acknowledges a range of factors to be discussed – Engages with what the question asks and shows a clear understanding of how to answer it – Answers the question with balanced analysis

19. Activity Create your own introduction for this essay, using the model to help you (not to copy from!) Peer assess to check you are on the right track – does your partner’s essay follow the structure? Does it include the right level of detail? Give them a key target to work on for next time Also give them something they did well Write this in their jotter so they don’t forget

20. Main Body Each paragraph should follow the PEEA-PEEA-L structure: Point Expand Example Analysis Counter Point Expand Example Analysis Link back to the question and evaluate (mini conclusion)

21. Model PEE Nando’s is a high quality dining experience in Silverburn as it offers customers wide choice and customisation of their meals. Whilst many of Silverburn’s restaurants offer only a set menu, Nando’s have a range of high quality piri piri dressings which allow customers to make their own choice as to how spicy their chicken is. Furthermore, the customer can refill their soft drink as often as they like, giving them a less restricted choice of what they drink with their meal. Therefore, the dining experience is enhanced. For example, in July 2013, Mr Thomson visited the Edinburgh Fountainpark branch of Nando’s, choosing to add extra hot piri piri sauce to his first half wrap, and lemon and herb sauce to the second. Market research has shown that restaurant customers view this kind of choice as a particularly important factor in deciding where to eat; in fact, only quality of food was rated higher. This is likely to give Nando’s the edge over Wagamama, which only has a set menu to choose from.

22. Model PEEL However, it could be argued that Nando’s is poor value for money when compared with its competitors. A regular complaint from customers is that the price of a meal in Nando’s is excessive for the quality of food served. This affects the customer’s enjoyment of their meal as they feel they could have saved money and eaten a similar standard of meal elsewhere in Silverburn. For example, a double chicken pitta with one side costs £10.60 in Nando’s, whereas a chicken and chorizo paella in La Tasca costs only £8.85. This is a huge difference in cost, and may heavily influence many people’s decision over whether to eat at Nando’s – for those on a budget, it could be the most important factor. Clearly, although there is plenty of choice in Nando’s, the customer pays extra for the privilege and doesn’t gain very good value for money as a result. Whilst this isn’t a problem for customers who are willing to pay extra, some diners may prefer a cheaper option, such as Pizza Hut.

23. Activity Complete a balanced paragraph like the one on the previous two slides Peer assess with a different partner this time to gain a wider range of feedback from the class

24. Conclusion Should not just be a summary or a repeat of everything you have said It should be an evaluative comment which concludes your essay with a balanced response to the question Making recommendations, or predictions based on the evidence you have presented is one good way to approach this You should always ensure that you acknowledge the alternative viewpoints If you have made mini conclusions throughout your essay, this will be easier

25. Conclusion Structure Give your answer to the question - summarise the key arguments that have convinced you Show balance – acknowledge the alternative point of view Evaluate – put a quantitative value on your answer e.g. “to a large extent” Make an interesting final concluding comment, such as a recommendation or prediction

26. Activity Write your own conclusion to this essay and self assess your work this time, using the model conclusion on the next page to help you Make any required corrections, as you will be peer marked once you have completed this section

27. Model Conclusion Overall, although Nando’s can be considered the best restaurant to a large extent by customers for whom table service and budget are not important factors, others prefer the more formal dining experience of La Tasca or the value for money of Wagamama. Whether Nando’s is the best restaurant in Silverburn is highly dependent on the tastes and preferences of the individual. Perhaps the youthful clientele it attracts suggests it appeals to a particularly young demographic more than the other choices available; however, Nando’s will need to do more to appeal to the older generations in the years to come.

28. Peer Marking Using the marking instructions you have been given, peer assess your partner’s model essay Make sure you note on where each mark has been gained – do this in the margin Give feedback, both positive and things to work on, so that you both have a target for your first Modern Studies themed essay question

29. Learning Intentions By the end of this lesson, you should be able to: – Identify accurately the elements of a successful 20 mark essay – Explain the difference between analysis and evaluation, referring to examples of each – Evaluate a complex socio-economic or political issue by drawing conclusions To demonstrate this, you will: – Write a balanced introduction for a model essay – Write a paragraph which features a detailed point, analysis mark, exemplification and evaluative comment – Write a conclusion which includes at least one of the key evaluative skills