What Is Bullying?

Bullying Is... An unhealthy situation in which a student or group of students is using superior size, power, or status with the intention to intimidate or dominate a vulnerable student or group of students. Intent to do harm Imbalance of power Repeated harmful behavior

Bullying Is... Normal? NO IT ISN’T! Dealing with conflict is a healthy, normal part of life. Being threatened, intimidated, or victimized (bullied) is not healthy or normal.

Types of Bullying: Relational Aggression/Social Bullying Physical Verbal Cyber

Relational Aggression or Social Bullying  Manipulating someone  Gossiping  Spreading rumors  Leaving others out/excluding others  Refusing to speak to a friend  jo jo

Physical Bullying  Pushing  Hitting  Kicking  Tripping  Knocking down books

Verbal Bullying  Teasing  Name calling  Put-downs  Threats  Mocking  Racial or sexual orientation comments  03hm4k 03hm4k

Cyber Bullying  Texting – words or pictures  Posting on websites – words or pictures  Name calling in chat rooms  Posting fake profiles  Threatening via the internet or phone

Teasing vs. Bullying Good-Natured TeasingHurtful Teasing Playful between BOTH people.Angry body language. Uses a friendly tone.Uses angry tone. Encourages friendships.Continues even when distress is evident. Doesn’t lead to physical confrontations. Continues even when the topic is upsetting to others. Not serious.Serious with the intent to harm. Sometimes lightens a tense moment. Accompanied by “showing off.”

Think Before You “Tease” Is the teasing about… Identity? Appearance? Ability? Social Status? Sexual Content? If yes to any of these, it may be best to not say anything at all.

You Decide #1 Joking? Teasing? Bullying? On Monday afternoon, Rob used his recess time to hang campaign posters around the school, which read, “Vote Rob for Student Council President.” On Tuesday morning in homeroom, Rob found one of his posters taped to the blackboard in the front of the classroom. Someone had crossed out the word, “President,” and replaced it with “First Lady.” One of Rob’s classmates pointed to a girl in the first row, indicating that Maria had altered the poster. Rob glared at her as he tore down the poster. “It’s just a joke,” Maria laughed. “Lighten up - I’m gonna vote for you.”

You Decide #2 Joking? Teasing? Bullying? For years, Angel has made fun of his best friend, Dave’s, peanut butter obsession. “You’d eat my gym sock if it was covered in peanut butter,” he once told Dave. One day in science lab, the students designed mazes to test the intelligence of white mice. When the teacher told the class that they would be baiting the mazes with peanut butter, Angel called out, “Better be careful - Dave might get to the end of the maze before the mice!” The other students broke out in laughter.

You Decide #3 Joking? Teasing? Bullying? Sonia recently moved to Lincoln Heights and just finished her first week at the local middle school. At 5 ft 8 in, she towered over most of the students in her 7th grade class. While looking for a place to sit, another student called to her, “Hey, shorty, there’s a spot over here!” Sonia paused for a moment and another girl from the group waved her over. “Don’t pay attention to her,” she told Sonia. “That’s just the way we talk to each other. They call me Einstein because I got all C’s on my last report card.”

Feelings

Bully, Target, Bystander

Bully, Target, Bystander?? In our group, Max likes to take charge and tell everyone else what to do. When John tried to share a suggestion, Max told him that was a lame suggestion and it wouldn’t work. The others in the group were sitting there when all of this was said.

Bully behavior, Target, Bystander?? The teacher was at the door talking with another adult, while Brad was at the board working on a math problem. Brad kept making mistakes. Jackson whispered loudly, “Brad is so dumb, he can’t even count the toes on his feet.” The classmates all heard what Jackson said.

What can you do?? Every day in the cafeteria, there is one student from your class that sits alone. Other kids in your class always laugh at this student and whisper about him/her. What can you do?? A friend keeps asking you if he can copy the answers to your homework. You tell him no, but he keeps asking you every day, and he threatens to stop being your friends if you don’t give him the answers. What can you do??

Bullying: What Can I Do?

Roles of Bullying Bully Target Active Bystander Passive Bystander

Active vs. Passive Bystander There are no innocent bystanders! Their actions can encourage bullying (ex: laughing) – active Bully’s “sidekick” - active Their actions can be seen as giving permission to bully (ex: not objecting or ignoring) - passive It’s OK to tell!

What to do if... You are the BULLY STOP! Think before you act – how would you feel? Apologize to those you’ve hurt. Seek help from a trusted adult.

What to do if... you are the TARGET Find an adult you trust & talk to them. Confront the person, if you feel safe.  (assertive not aggressive) Find other friends.

Motto: Stand firm. Stay calm. Choice Comeback: Bully: “I heard you still suck your thumb.” Strong Boy: “Do you believe it?” Bully: “Yes.” Strong Boy: “You can believe it if you want.” STRONG BOY BULLY BLOCKER #1 STRONG BOY BULLY BLOCKER #1

THE JOINER BULLY BLOCKER #2 THE JOINER BULLY BLOCKER #2 Motto: Find your people. Choice Comeback: Bully: “Hey Shrimp, you’re too puny to play football with us.” The Joiner: “That’s okay. I’d rather play soccer with my team anyway.”

PAL GAL BULLY BLOCKER #3 PAL GAL BULLY BLOCKER #3 Motto: Turn bullies into buddies. Be confident but kind. Choice Comeback: Bully: “Hey, didn’t you wear that dress on Tuesday, too? Is that your only dress or what?!” Pal Gal: “That’s pretty funny! This is my favorite dress, but today I’m wearing it with my friendship bracelets. Want me to show you how to make one?”

FUNNY GIRL BULLY BLOCKER #4 FUNNY GIRL BULLY BLOCKER #4 Motto: Make ‘em laugh. Choice Comeback: Bully: “What’s with those ugly sneakers? Didja get them at a yard sale?” Funny Girl: “You think these are bad, you should see the bunny slippers my dad wears!”

MR. DEFLECTOR BULLY BLOCKER #5 MR. DEFLECTOR BULLY BLOCKER #5 Motto: Acknowledge their point. Then change the subject. Choice Comeback: Bully: “Hey spazz boy, you couldn’t make a basket to save your life!” Mr. Deflector: “You think I need to work on my shot? Maybe so. Hey, did you see Lebron scored 40 points last night? Awesome!”

What to do if... you are a BYSTANDER SAY SOMETHING!  to the person being teased  to the bully  to an adult you trust  to your friends so they know you don’t tolerate bullying Don’t join in.