A Book on ‘Inside-out’ Approach To Interpersonal Effectiveness

 Principle based paradigm shifts  Seven habits – Powerful lessons in personal effectiveness  Change : Inside-out v/s Outside-in  Discussions Outlines

Paradigm Shifts Paradigm shifts move us from one way of seeing the world to another Minor changes in lives can be made by focusing on our attitudes and behaviours; for quantum change we need to work on basic paradigms. If we want to change the situation, we first have to change ourselves. And to change ourselves effectively, we first have to change our perceptions Many achieve outward success but continue to struggle with an inner hunger

Skills (How to do it) Knowledge (Knowing what to do and why) Desire (Wanting to do it or motivation)... Habits Effective Habits Creating a habit requires working in all three dimensions “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” Aristotle

Public Victory Private Victory Dependence Independence Interdependence 7 Habits of Highly Effective People Be Proactive (Responsibility / Initiative) 2.Begin with the End in Mind (Vision / Values) 3.Put First Things First (Integrity / Execution) 4.Think Win-Win (Mutual Respect / Benefit) 5.Seek First To Understand, Then to Understood (Mutual Understanding) 6.Synergize (Creative Cooperation) 7.Sharpen The Saw (Renewal)

Habit 1 : Be Proactive  As human beings, we are responsible for our own lives  Our behaviour is a function of our decisions, not our conditions Responsibility = Response + Ability

Freedom to Choose Self-Awareness Imagination Consciousness Independent Will Proactive Stimulus Response Reactive StimulusResponse (Heart) (Mind) (Spirit) (Body) Habit 1 : Be Proactive (Stimulus V/S Response) Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space lies our freedom and power to choose our response. In those choices lie our growth and our happiness.

Circle of Concern Circle of Influence No Concern Habit 1 : Be Proactive (Circle of Influence)

Habit 2 : Begin With The End In Mind All things are created twice (Mental Creation) Visualization (Physical Creation) Implementation Leadership Doing The Right Thing Management Doing Things Right

Habit 2 : Begin With The End In Mind We are more in need of a vision or destination and a compass and less in need of a road map Effectiveness doesn’t depend solely on how much effort we expend, but on whether or not the effort is in the right context An effective goal focuses primarily on results rather than activity Nature of visualisation is very important. If one visualizes the wrong thing, then one will produce the wrong thing Peak performers are visualisers. They see it, they feel it, they experience it before they actually do it. They begin with the end in the mind

(IV) Productiv- ity Linked (III) Crisis Related (II) Interrupt- ions (I) Trivial Activities.. ƒSome mail, some calls, time wasters, pleasant activities Results ƒTotal irresponsibility, dependent on others / institutions for basics Activities ƒSome meetings, some calls, popular activities Results ƒShort term focus, crisis management, feel victimized / out of control Activities ƒPressing problem, Deadline driven projects Results ƒStress, Burnout, Crisis Management, Always putting out fires Activities ƒPrevention, Relationship building, Recognizing new opportunities, Planning Results ƒVision, Balance, Control, Discipline, Few crisis Urgent Not Urgent Not Important Important Habit 3 : Put First Things First (Time Management Matrix) Minimise Quadrant I & II as far as possible Quadrant IV should be greater than quadrant III Time saved from quadrant I & II should be invested in IV

Habit 3 : Put First Things First  Time management is really a misnomer – the challenge is not to manage time, but to manage ourselves  Things that matter most must never be at the mercy of things that matter least  Effective people are not problem minded; they are opportunity minded  The key is not to prioritize what is on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities  We have to decide what our highest priorities are and have the courage to say “no” to other things

Lose / WinWin / Win Win / Lose Lose / Lose.. High Low High Courage Consideration Habit 4 : Think Win - Win People use positions, power, personality, etc to get their way This involves self awareness, imagination, independent will and relationship with others People are usually quick to please or appease People are blind to everything except their desire for the other person to lose, even if it means losing themselves

. Habit 4 : Think Win - Win Win – win is not a technique but a frame of mind and heart that constantly seeks mutual benefit in all human interactions Such solutions / agreements are mutually beneficial and satisfying Win- win is based on the belief that there is a plenty for everyone (Abundance Mentality) Success achieved in win-win paradigm is not at the expense or exclusion of the success of others This approach is co-operative, not competitive

Habit 4 : Five Dimensions of Win- Win 1. Character Integrity ; Maturity Abundance Mentality 2. Relationship Genuine Trust,Respect & Appreciation 3. Agreements Desired results (not Methods), resources Identification, accountability, Consequences, etc 4. Systems Systems – Training, planning,, etc 5. Processes Focus on problem not person; Focus on interests not positions

Habit 5 : Seek First To Understand, Then To Be Understood (Levels of Listening) Attentive Selective Pretending Ignoring Empathic Levels of Listening Within One’s Own Frame of Reference Within The Other’s Frame of Reference

Habit 6 : Synergize  Synergy is the principle of creative cooperation where the whole is greater than the sum of its parts.  Ecology basically describes synergism in nature where everything is related to everything else.

Desire to Grow Maintain Status Quo. Habit 6 : Synergize (Developing v/s Restraining Forces))

Habit 7 : Sharpen The Saw (Renewal) Renewal Physical (Exercise, Nutrition, Stress Mgmt.) Mental (Reading, Visualization, Planning) Spiritual (Spiritual reading, Study Meditation.) Socio / Emotional (Service, Synergy, Security)

“Don’t aim for success if you want it; just do what you love and believe in, and it will come naturally.” David Frost “Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.” Thomas Edition Success comes when you  Believe / see yourself succeeding  Pursue your passion in life  Prepare self before any opportunity  Hang-on when others have quit.. Knowing Success

Conclusion “Each one of us has a fire in our heart for something. It is our goal in life to find it and to keep it lit.” Mary Retton “The distance is nothing; it is only the first step that is difficult.” Marquise Deffand “Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude.” W.W. Ziege

Thank You